20 years and she leaves me

[pelicanpreacher]

I am living in your shoes. My wife wants me to leave after Christmas. We've been married 22 yrs. She says she wants to separate. She needs space. No promises on a reconciliation, just maybe after shes dealt with her issues awhile. She is very angry and has alot of resentment towards me. She says she's not having an affair, I believe her that she hasn't had sex with anyone. I do believe that she has an outside interest either at work or more likely on an internet forum she frequents. She agreed to go to counciling with me. But it was always "I'll go to counciling, but" We went twice. On the second session she told me and the MC that she didn't want to keep trying. She seems to want to hold onto her anger. We have 2 daughters 15 & 20. It is tearing me apart. I can't concentrate at work and I'm more depressed than I thought I ever could be. I am so hurt and angry. I don't know what to do. I'm hanging in there till after Christmas for the sake of the kids, but I feel lost. I want nothing but the chance to work on our problems, but she doesn't seem to care. good luck to you man.

 

Mike, you probably need to cut and paste this post to start your own thread! WE ARE HERE FOR YOU TOO!

 

That said, Violator, you now know what's been going on with your wife behind the wizard's curtian of her mind's eye. You've also got a lot of insight and advice from the board. I know that you feel we don't understand you but please take a moment and review all the posts presented and find truth where truth has been told. Seek out your wife and thirst for her by showing the love, affection, and devotion of a man truly committed to remaining at her side so that she may have faith in you again. This is a marathon instead of a sprint so day by day make the best of this new opportunity to grow into the man your wife would be thrilled to know and love and maybe, just maybe, you'll be one of the lucky ones to fulfill your dream of a long and lasting marriage.

[Violator]

I talked to the other man today. I went to his house and we talked about how this is going to work. He was really glad I came by and had a chance to talk with me about this situation. He wants to help me save my marriage!!! He asked me if he could do anything to help me out. He is going to call her and tell her to work things out with me. He is gonna let her know that he is happy in his relationship with his girlfriend. And he is sorry for leading her on in this way and he wants her to be happy with me.

That is the best way this could have worked. He was a bit suprised to see me at his house. haha. He was wondering how I found out his name and stuff. I'm just gonna let him figure it for himself. She is going to have a hard time hearing what he as to say, but I'm gonna be here for her for that too.

I still am a bit angry with him, but I'm a better man than to just run out and start trouble that doesn't need to be started. I really hope that they aren't just messing with my head. After being lied to about it in the beginning I feel I have some trust issues with the both of them. I'm going to trust them now but, if I find out different, then I'll have to find other ways to handle it. But I feel this is the best way to handle the situation right now. I really think she wants to work things out with me or else she would not have moved back in.

 

She still doesn't want to kiss and make love and all that stuff yet, but I told her it was ok and when she's ready I'm here for her. And no, I didn't try to get her to do that yet, we just were talking about things and she brought it up.

I found out she wasn't happy with the weight I had put on, so I'm dealing with that, already lost 15 pounds, , and I love all the energy the exercise is giving me. I'm walking 4+ miles a day and doing some other things to get my fat butt into shape. lol

 

Wow!! We are communicating now. It is so easy to fix things when you know what to fix. She is very happy with the things she has seen already and she says she wants to see what's next. It's so awesome. I feel like this is going to work out.

Man, I feel so wierd, I went from just wanting to die to having some hope for our future together. And I get to release some of this energy into our relationship, a little at a time, but it's still great. Guys, I have the best wife I could ever ask for and now I get a chance to show her how much she really means to me and let her know how much I really love her.

I'm venting what's inside of me here to you all. Because if I told her all of this, in this way, she would think I was trying to rush things. I don't want to scare her off. Hek, I just got her back.

[Violator]

Man, I have been trying to get the doc to release me. I have been working...on the side. I have not been able to get a good paying full time position anywhere, My buddy pays me 200 a day. I'm not giving that up to work for 15/hr for some jackass thats just gonna lay me off after the holidays. I'm also doing voc rehab because I can no longer do the job I used to do.