Social Anxiety

[zhsoj]

http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html

 

Describes me pretty much exactly.

[whichwayisup]

Google cognitive behaviour therapy. And consider seeking this type of therapy to help you deal with your anxiety issues.

 

Some good books for you: Been There, Done That, Try This! By Sam Obitz and The Feeling Good Book by Dr. David Burns. Also, any Claire Weekes books are excellent as well.

 

How long have you suffered from social anxiety?

[zhsoj]

Google cognitive behaviour therapy. And consider seeking this type of therapy to help you deal with your anxiety issues.

 

Some good books for you: Been There, Done That, Try This! By Sam Obitz and The Feeling Good Book by Dr. David Burns. Also, any Claire Weekes books are excellent as well.

 

How long have you suffered from social anxiety?

 

Thanks for the book recommendations. I followed the links and did some research. Found myself pretty much saying yup, that's me...

 

At the moment I'm not quite ready to be serious about treatment (the closest group is 2 hours away). Luckily I don't think I'm as worse off as some, though I've been this way since 4th grade or so. I'm looking at buying the SAI's tapes, but am not sure I have the money for that ATM. Just knowing what "it" is helps quite a bit I think.

 

I think I might start off with one of the books and see how that goes.

[LittleDove]

Anxiety is so common, there is SO much information available, PLUS dont feel alone, alot of people suffer it at one time or another. I used to, but have overcome it completley.

There are ways to cope and rationalise it.

There are techniques... read online, dont wait to buy books.

If you want any help, pm me.

[clarityofmind]

Hey, cognitive behaviour therapy has been proven to work, however I would like to suggest to you that you can go about it in a different way.

 

This summer I found out that I also suffered from social anxiety and I started to become more aware of the symptoms and how and when they manifested. I invested a lot of my time into solving this issue, focusing mostly on self improvement books, tapes and anything I could get my hands on.

 

I became obsessed with this issue because I knew that deep down inside I am capable of getting the things that I want and social anxiety played a big factor as one of the main oppressors.

 

After a while I started being more aware of my thought patterns and how in certain situations I wasn’t controlling my thoughts. In fact they were very much controlling me. I am the kind of individual with a busy mind. I love logic games and solving problems by analyzing and most likely over thinking everything, often having trouble sleeping due to my thoughts.

 

I came across the idea of meditating and it was appealing because it promoted a quiet mind and increased focus which appealed to my logical being.

Another way I can get a boost and in a sense “level up”.

 

So I read Meditation for dummies, but as you are well aware every time we try anything new that causes any kind of change in our lives creates anxiety and discomfort, because our bodies are wired to maintain homeostasis and since our thoughts cause physiological changes in our brains since we let our automatic thoughts control us our minds become part of this homeostatic response.

 

Of course meditation didn’t last very long.

 

Then one day I came across more information about how to meditate and many different ways one can approach this practice. I realized that what I wanted to do more than anything at this moment was to acquire the ability to control my thoughts and guide them the way I want to or at best clear my mind of the noise that occurs continuously in order for more clarity of thought.

 

I came across Japa meditation and after a week or so of practicing for 10-15 minutes before bed (I was using it as a sleeping aid to clear my mind) I noticed some changes in my own behaviour.

 

Suddenly I was in anxious moments being fully aware of myself and managing to get myself through them and sometimes with no anxiety at all. This created the motivation to practice this type of meditation more seriously.

 

So now I spend about 20 minutes after I wake up and 20 minutes before bed. This has allowed me to have more control of my own mind and to become more aware of how it works and how I get myself into these anxiety moments from conditioned thoughts that I acquired subconsciously over the years.

 

I also am a strong believer in exercise and its benefits. Even simple cardiovascular exercise 3 or more times a week is more than enough to derive some benefits in your case. But, the more of these positive influences you add to your life the less and less problems you will experience. I can go on and on about this topic but here’s my recommendation.

 

1. Make a decision that from now on YOU will not stand to suffer by letting yourself react to the world. Instead, you make it your personal goal to constantly ask questions and figure out anything you can about yourself, how you function, think, behave, react. Once you figure these things out you can take action on finding methods from anywhere you can to better yourself. Like I said you fix one thing and then another and then another and suddenly it adds to your wholeness, the more “+” (plusses) you add to your character/persona/self the more capable you become to deal with your issues, in this case anxiety, self confidence and more.

 

2. Read up on Japa meditation and practice it. If you’re in disbelief do it for a couple of weeks consistently just for the heck of it. I mean if it doesn’t work the worst that can happen is you lose a few hours of your life spent in a state of relaxation, but if it works (which I believe it will) then you have added another important tool to your arsenal of weapons to cope with your anxiety.

 

3. Pay attention to your environments in which you choose to be in and this includes the people you deal with, your friends and family and make the correct changes if necessary. Sometimes we go on and on doing things and hang out with people that are constantly putting us down and causing a lot of stress and anxiety in our life. The truth is these people are not the cause of your problems but it is you who do not have that well developed sense of self that does not allow external circumstances to affect you. Please understand that everyone is like this you, me and the rest of the world and the reason for this is because nobody has taken the time to teach us in our upbringing how to become more independent and aware of what we are capable of doing. Instead, we have a variation of experiences and lessons which are not enough (in most cases) to teach us the importance of developing a strong sense of self. The key is to get to a level where we accept ourselves for what we have and realize that we can work at developing new skills and abilities in order to get the kind of results that we want. Life is all about perspective, how we interpret our events dictates how we live our lives. I’ve learned this from Tony Robbins, but there are other self help gurus who promote this kind of thinking. Your thoughts dictate your reality. We are what we think.

 

 

You can try this link for information on Japa meditation, and best of all it’s free

http://www.freemeditations.com/japa-meditation.html

If you have any questions or would like to know more information about anything or perhaps I was not clear enough in how I explained myself feel free to message me.

A.

“There is No Way to Happiness, Happiness is the Way” – Wayne Dyer

[Geishawhelk]

Just by way of info, nobody can message you, you're a new member, so your messaging facility doesn't kick in for a good while.

 

You can't message anyone else, either, in that time.

Just thought I'd let you know.

[clarityofmind]

Thank you

[Beautifully Broken]

That site described me to the T

[Shygirl15]

http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html

 

Describes me pretty much exactly.

I'm a little shocked.

 

Part of what described on that link also describes my BF a bit. He constantly seem to think/worry that people are watching him/us in public and I really worry about him sometimes. He once got nervous during a public speaking event, to the extent he broke down and cry in front of people (super weird). I have never heard of this condition before. Thanks for the link on Japa meditation, Clarityofmind.

[georgehutton]

Another thing you can try, (which helped me a lot) is EFT.

 

You can watch some videos here:

 

http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=magnustapping&view=videos

 

Any one will work. It seems pretty out there, and I was skeptical at first, but its free and only takes a few minutes. If you want to do some reading there is a free pdf you can download from http://www.emofree.com

 

Good Luck!

[gabicita]

This summer I found out that I also suffered from social anxiety and I started to become more aware of the symptoms and how and when they manifested. I invested a lot of my time into solving this issue, focusing mostly on self improvement books, tapes and anything I could get my hands on.

 

hey, clarityofmind... i just read what you wrote about a month ago and just wanted to say that i really appreciate your words

 

i constantly have to fight my negative thoughts about life and stuff, so i def would look into Japa meditation. any other advice on this would be greatly appreciated.

[Lovelybird]

Your thoughts dictate your reality. We are what we think.

Yes, Bible says the same thing: what a man think of himself, what he becomes

 

I think Social Anxiety can be very simply called "too much focus on self" or "too much self consciousness". Worrying what others think of you is still overly focusing on self. When one overly focus on self "what about me", the world and people around him become potential rival enemy rather than friend, that cause anxiety, because you project what is in your heart onto others. every human struggle this maybe, only some come out of it quicker

 

and there is a simple cure: not to focus on self so much, and this need strong discipline and pratice. A person can take himself or herself not so seriously seldom have social anxiety.

 

Another angle to view this, it comes down a principle: a spiritual journey that a person grow from self-centre to God-centre (if you like universe centre), the more you have characters of God, the more you will feel peace, and have victories

 

But maybe people with stronger self awareness are more sensitive to the spiritual world, just need to be transformed

[Ross PK]

I have social anxiety too. Have you thought about medication?

[Lizzie60]

Thank you for this thread.. I thought my son had Asperger's syndrome.. but since I've read this thread.. I think he's got social anxiety more than AS. Last night, after I read this.. I googled a lot of info from the Internet.. I learned quite a bit. I will get some books.. I want to help him.. but I'm not sure how..

 

He spent a few days with me.. and we talked a lot about how he feels... I feel soooo sad.. I don't know how to help him..

[whichwayisup]

Lizzie, suggest to him to try CBT therapy. It does work and he'll learn coping techniques, learn how to control his anxiety, as well as understand why he is feeling anxious, the talk therapy part of it helps resolve issues that may have led to the anxiety in the first place.

 

Afew good books - Been There, Done That, Try This! By Sam Obitz - The Feeling Good Book by Dr. David Burns - And, any Claire Weeks book about anxiety and social anxiety are also helpful.

 

Hope this helps.

[Lizzie60]

Thanks so much WWIU.. I will buy all the books I can put my hands on.. I feel so helpless.. he's soooo unhappy and I just don't know how to make his life more bearable..

 

I will go tomorrow get all those books.. thanks so much!

 

Yesterday, I also advise him to go in therapy.. I will talk to his dad about it and we'll pay for what it takes..

[whichwayisup]

You're welcome Lizzie. I know firsthand how hard it is to suffer and deal with anxiety. I did CBT therapy and it changed my life. Finding the right person to talk to is important. Someone he can trust, feel very comfortable with..Once he finds that person, he'll do great!

Check your local hospitals, google CBT counselling in your area, look in the phone book, even Colleges and Universities offer counselling depending on the age of your son and if he's still in school..

 

The book by Sam Obitz is only sold in the States, so you may have to order it. The other two are sold here.