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CHEATING WIFE, NEED !!!WHAT DO i DO?

Steve L

By Steve L,
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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Steve L

Steve L

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i HAVE POSTED HERE BEFORE W QUESTIONS CONCERNINGTHIS ISSUE SO PLEASE BE PATIENT IF i AM OLD NEWS. WIFE OF 20 YEARS CHEATS WITH SAME GUY 20 TO 30 TIMES OVER A COUPLE OF MOS. sHE BREAKS IT OFF AND ADMITS IT TO ME. sHE IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO A DEFENSE MODE THAT I CAUSED ALL OF THIS. YEH, THEY SAY IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO BUT I REALLY WAS A GREAT HUSBAND. THIS IS EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT I RETAINED ALL OF OUR MARITAL FRIENS, MY KIDS BLAME HER AND EVERYONE DOWN TO OUR FAMILY DR. CANT BELIEVE I PUT UP WITH HER FOR SO LONG. SHE REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING THAT BENEFITTED ME PERSONALLY AROUND THE HOUSE, STATING THAT I WAS AN ADULT AND COULD GET A MAID IF I WANTED THOSE THINGS. IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT SHE DID NOT WORK AND LIVED A VERY HIGH LIFRSTYLE AFFORDED BY MY BUSINESS. SHE HAS MOVED OUT AND WE ARE FILED. MY QUESTIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS. 1. WHT DO I FEEL GUILTY? I COULD HAVE HER BACK JUST FOR ASKING. 2. IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO SO MUCH DAMAGE THAT IT IS IRREVERSABLE (SHE IS NOW NORMAL AGAIN) BUT MY FEELINGS ARE MUCH DIFFERENT. 3. WHY AM I STILL ASKING MYSELF IF DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT THING EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS? i FAILED TO MENTION MUCH OF THE PAIN SHE CAUSED INCLUDING EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY AND PHYSICAL ABUSE.

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Bryanp

Bryanp

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The reason you are asking these questions is because your wife has emotionally abused you for a prolong period of time. She has destroyed your self-worth and your ego. When you are abused after a while you become totally dependent on the person who is abusing you.

 

How much more humiliation, betrayal and disrespect are you willing to endure. She has put your health at great risk for STD's for a long period of time. Would you want your children to grow up and marry a spouse that would emotionally humiliate and abuse them the way your wife has abused you? Once you are legally free from this monster you will eventually see how wonderful life can be with someone else who has the ability to really love and respect you as a friend, lover and possibly spouse. You have wasted enough of your life with a woman who enjoys abusing you.

 

If someone else had written what you have written, what would you think of that person who would say he still feels guilty? You would think this a type of person whose wife can stab him in his heart and he will tell her how sorry he is for bleeding on the rug. Enough is enough. It is clear she has no respect for you as a person and a human being. If you do not respect yourself then who will?

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Dexter Morgan

Dexter Morgan

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i HAVE POSTED HERE BEFORE W QUESTIONS CONCERNINGTHIS ISSUE SO PLEASE BE PATIENT IF i AM OLD NEWS. WIFE OF 20 YEARS CHEATS WITH SAME GUY 20 TO 30 TIMES OVER A COUPLE OF MOS. sHE BREAKS IT OFF AND ADMITS IT TO ME. sHE IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO A DEFENSE MODE THAT I CAUSED ALL OF THIS.

 

Trying to gaslight you and justify what she did. This is the worst kind of cheater as if it could get worse.

 

 

YEH, THEY SAY IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO BUT I REALLY WAS A GREAT HUSBAND.

 

Heh, there are gonna be some cheater apoligists here that will tell you that you are in denial and that you couldn't have been such a great husband if she was cheating. so buckle your seatbelt and get ready for those responses.

 

 

THIS IS EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT I RETAINED ALL OF OUR MARITAL FRIENS, MY KIDS BLAME HER AND EVERYONE DOWN TO OUR FAMILY DR. CANT BELIEVE I PUT UP WITH HER FOR SO LONG. SHE REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING THAT BENEFITTED ME PERSONALLY AROUND THE HOUSE, STATING THAT I WAS AN ADULT AND COULD GET A MAID IF I WANTED THOSE THINGS. IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT SHE DID NOT WORK AND LIVED A VERY HIGH LIFRSTYLE AFFORDED BY MY BUSINESS.

 

Ah, an entitlement princess. Doesn't work, but doesn't want to do her share. I hope you are getting a good, ruthless attorney as I type this.

 

 

 

SHE HAS MOVED OUT AND WE ARE FILED. MY QUESTIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS. 1. WHT DO I FEEL GUILTY?

 

Because she gaslighted you. She is a manipulator and they are very good at what they do.

 

YOU HAVE NOTHING TO FEEL GUILTY ABOUT. She does. But narcissists don't feel guilt. They feel entitled. Take comfort in the fact that she is going to be someone elses problem. And make sure she doesn't get a piece of the business. You will probably have to pay her 1/2 of what it is worth, but DO NOT EVER agree to let her have a piece of it.

 

 

I COULD HAVE HER BACK JUST FOR ASKING. 2. IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO SO MUCH DAMAGE THAT IT IS IRREVERSABLE

 

Yes

 

 

(SHE IS NOW NORMAL AGAIN)

 

Ya, sure she is:rolleyes:

 

 

BUT MY FEELINGS ARE MUCH DIFFERENT.

 

Thats because you are a smart cookie.

 

 

3. WHY AM I STILL ASKING MYSELF IF DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT THING EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS?

 

Because its hard to imagine. Divorce is hard, devestating, and if there are children involved, its even more hard.

 

It is the right thing. you don't want to be married to a wh0re.

 

 

i FAILED TO MENTION MUCH OF THE PAIN SHE CAUSED INCLUDING EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY AND PHYSICAL ABUSE.

 

Well you make sure it is well documented with dates, times of the occurences and make sure your attorney knows this.

 

She will still get 1/2 the marital assets, but it can work in your favor just HOW that 1/2 is divided.

 

Good luck!!!

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Steve L

Steve L

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Glad you replied dexter, always respect your hard hitting truthful replies. Lengthy. Thanks for takin the time. As far as the apologists, bring em on. I utterly kissed the ground that that this woman walked on..I know this. Even to the point of supporting a portoin of her extended family. f em!

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Steve L

Steve L

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And as far as the business. I made a substantial upfront offer that was refused in favor of a formal evaluation. The formal came in 64% BELOW what I had offered, hilarious. KARMA is A B#tch!

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Dexter Morgan

Dexter Morgan

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And as far as the business. I made a substantial upfront offer that was refused in favor of a formal evaluation. The formal came in 64% BELOW what I had offered, hilarious. KARMA is A B#tch!

 

Then you make sure your attorney knows the results of this formal evaluation and take your original offer off the table.

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norajane

norajane

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1. WHT DO I FEEL GUILTY? I COULD HAVE HER BACK JUST FOR ASKING.
Why would you want her back? What have you gotten from your marriage in the past 20 years that you would want for the next 20 years?

 

You feel guilty because you are taking responsibility for the failure of your marriage. Unfortunately, she's had you wrapped around her little finger for so long, you can't think for yourself anymore. You need to start thinking about what is best for YOU.

 

Seek some counseling, because this is emotionally unhealthy.

 

2. IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO SO MUCH DAMAGE THAT IT IS IRREVERSABLE (SHE IS NOW NORMAL AGAIN) BUT MY FEELINGS ARE MUCH DIFFERENT.
Yes, it is possible to do so much damage that it is irreversible. Absolutely, yes. Everyone has their limits, and this is a good thing. She is not "normal again". She's merely stopped having her affair. For now. Or until she meets another guy to have an affair with.

 

AND, she is BLAMING YOU for her affair. Lots of people in unhappy marriages don't cheat - you didn't, for example. She made a choice to cheat and by refusing to take any responsibility for her actions and blaming you for what she did, she is showing you that she could very easily start another affair.

 

3. WHY AM I STILL ASKING MYSELF IF DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT THING EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS? i FAILED TO MENTION MUCH OF THE PAIN SHE CAUSED INCLUDING EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY AND PHYSICAL ABUSE.
Because you need counseling. You need some professional help to get you mentally and emotionally healthy again, healthy enough to understand that you should expect a lot better than what you've been used to for the past 20 years.
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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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I have no idea why you feel guilty. Only you can answer that question. If someone did you wrong, only you can allow them to make you feel bad about it.

 

You've ditched her. Now it's time to enjoy your life. You deserve it!

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Dexter Morgan

Dexter Morgan

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I have no idea why you feel guilty. Only you can answer that question. If someone did you wrong, only you can allow them to make you feel bad about it.

 

You've ditched her. Now it's time to enjoy your life. You deserve it!

 

TBF is absolutely right. You deserve to enjoy the rest of your life!!!

 

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing whatsoever.

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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TBF is absolutely right. You deserve to enjoy the rest of your life!!!

 

You have nothing to feel guilty about. Nothing whatsoever.

Thanks DM. I think this guy needs some serious retail therapy. How about that 8 cylinder sports car you always wanted but the wifey said, no go. Go get it.

 

Btw, the Audi R8 is killing every competitor on the raceways so if you're looking for power and handling, this is the new puppy for you. ;)

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Steve L

Steve L

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hanging out as friends with several girls goin through bout the same thing from high school. took 5 to dinner friday and 2 to a club Saturday. BEEN with 2 of them, and none of them care. These were the ones I couldnt get in school. Funny what 20 years difference a complete set of teeth and a good business will do for a guys attraction quotient.....hey you guys are helpin me, I guess I dont have it so bad after all!!!

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Steve L

Steve L

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And trial, as soon as my buddys lease expires on his Maserati gran Turismo (yah, I know, they are junk) in June Im snaggin that dog too, call it revenge, and its really, really, piss#n somebody off.

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Trialbyfire

Trialbyfire

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At least it's pretty. :laugh:

 

Hey, nothing to complain about in that it was designed by legendary Pininfarina, the designers for many a Ferrari!

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Dexter Morgan

Dexter Morgan

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And trial, as soon as my buddys lease expires on his Maserati gran Turismo (yah, I know, they are junk) in June Im snaggin that dog too, call it revenge, and its really, really, piss#n somebody off.

 

Uh, don't snag anything til AFTER the divorce is final. Otherwise she is entitled to half of it.

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  • 3 weeks later...
Wicked Smile

Wicked Smile

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i HAVE POSTED HERE BEFORE W QUESTIONS CONCERNINGTHIS ISSUE SO PLEASE BE PATIENT IF i AM OLD NEWS. WIFE OF 20 YEARS CHEATS WITH SAME GUY 20 TO 30 TIMES OVER A COUPLE OF MOS. sHE BREAKS IT OFF AND ADMITS IT TO ME. sHE IMMEDIATELY GOES INTO A DEFENSE MODE THAT I CAUSED ALL OF THIS. YEH, THEY SAY IT TAKES 2 TO TANGO BUT I REALLY WAS A GREAT HUSBAND. THIS IS EVIDENCED BY THE FACT THAT I RETAINED ALL OF OUR MARITAL FRIENS, MY KIDS BLAME HER AND EVERYONE DOWN TO OUR FAMILY DR. CANT BELIEVE I PUT UP WITH HER FOR SO LONG. SHE REFUSED TO DO ANYTHING THAT BENEFITTED ME PERSONALLY AROUND THE HOUSE, STATING THAT I WAS AN ADULT AND COULD GET A MAID IF I WANTED THOSE THINGS. IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT SHE DID NOT WORK AND LIVED A VERY HIGH LIFRSTYLE AFFORDED BY MY BUSINESS. SHE HAS MOVED OUT AND WE ARE FILED. MY QUESTIONS ARE AS FOLLOWS. 1. WHT DO I FEEL GUILTY? I COULD HAVE HER BACK JUST FOR ASKING. 2. IS IT POSSIBLE TO DO SO MUCH DAMAGE THAT IT IS IRREVERSABLE (SHE IS NOW NORMAL AGAIN) BUT MY FEELINGS ARE MUCH DIFFERENT. 3. WHY AM I STILL ASKING MYSELF IF DIVORCE IS THE RIGHT THING EVEN AFTER ALL OF THIS? i FAILED TO MENTION MUCH OF THE PAIN SHE CAUSED INCLUDING EXTREME MENTAL CRUELTY AND PHYSICAL ABUSE.

 

 

First get on your knees and pray. Thank the lord you got out with your soul intact. It seems as though you married a very immature, selfish self absorbed B*tch. No offense. Those feelings you talk about are not derived from her. They derive from guilt over a failed marriage which unfortunately you could not mend due to the GODLDIGGING ***** you married. Bah, again sorry. I have read so many posts like this it's getting to me a bit. Seriously, you got lucky and have a great opportunity for a new life with a new woman who will appreciate all the things that succubus took for granted. Hope you find a great one and live a happy life with HOT sexy and loving memories.

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