Wife does not want to work out Marriage.

[Schlicky77]

My Wife and I have been married going on 3 years, together 4 and we have a 2 year old daughter. After she gave birth she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and along with the stress of being new parents it made our relationship tough. We both have our issues of course, and I'm not going to say I'm perfect... far from it, but over the past few years I have worked on my issues (temper) and have been trying to keep us together. She's had a few slipups, she had an online relationship with another guy for about a month a few years back, and about a month ago she made out with another girl. We've done some counseling, but right now she is pretty much not talking to me or just finding any reason to fight with me. I ended up moving out and have been staying at my dad's place (which sucks) as there is barely any room for me there. I keep trying to get along with her and it just back fires in my face and we end up arguing over miniscule things. She's said she doesn't love me anymore, and that she'd rather be a single parent. There is no love in her eyes, no affection from her, she's pretty emotionless about it.

 

And of course our daughter is in the middle of this and is just confused, I can tell. I love both of them to death and being out of the house is killing me. I still am spending time with my daughter of course, but I miss my family and my wife.

 

My friends and family are telling me just to cut my wife loose and let her fend for herself for a while, and to just support my daughter. But that is easier said than done. My wife is in college and does not have a job, and I'm the only source of income.

 

Sorry for the long post, but trying to get in a lot of details.

[sumdude]

My friends and family are telling me just to cut my wife loose and let her fend for herself for a while, and to just support my daughter. But that is easier said than done. My wife is in college and does not have a job, and I'm the only source of income.

 

Well you're friends are right. She doesn't want the relationship then she doesn't get the support and benefits from it either. Of course you will have to find a way to extricate from her without your daughter getting hurt.

[flmomma]

im in the same situation. except for a lot more complicated. i asked my husband to leave july 7th, we got into a very heated argument, a restraining order, DOM and affair (a month later) he came back for a week. didn't work. he left and has been gone since. we both currently have restraining orders on each other. me on him for verbal abuse, and him on me for calling, e-mailing too much. i suffered from really bad depression and anget issues leading up to our separation and things were rough. we had a 19 month old son and 9 month old daughter when he left. i have been begging and pleading for him to come home, in all the wrong ways. i have threatned with courts, bribed him with sex, everything. one day he will tell me he wants to come home, the next he hates me and dosen't love me. his mom and I have always had issues. i think she thought i was "taking" him from her, so needless to say when we split she was all over it. giving him divorce and lawyer advice, (she has been married and divorced 4 times) when he shouldn't be taking it from her with her experience. not one time has any of his family has said to stick it out. i have started taking therapy and anger managment and conquered my depression. but my husband will not come home. of course he likes his life now more than he did, i was angry all the time. and now all he has to do is keep his kids one night a week and do whatever he pleases. i've tried to tell him that i've changed and he would be SO happy, but it doesn't work. hes gone, and im left to pick up the peices. i hate that i took a vow to be with him for better or worse and he left with the worse and we won't get to share the better. we have been married for 1 1/2 years, together for 3. im at a loss as well. i hate that he don't miss me at all, and says suck nasty things about me. but hang in there, women are so much different than guys, play hard to get, and she'll be back in no time! lol. im so glad to see there are so many other people out ehre that are going through the same things. it makes me feel less alone!!

 

that was mainly me rambling! =) but im new to this. good luck and hang in there, God never gives you more than you can handle!

[Schlicky77]

It's just been really hard on me. She says it's hard on her too but she's still in our apartment with everything in it. I just took some clothes, bathroom stuff and my computer. Another thing is she had been on prescribed narcotics for about 3 years and had become addicted them (Darvocet, Oxycontin, etc) and it had come to the point where everyone including the daycare provider and her family were noticing it. She was a zombie, looked like she had been drinking. Very apathetic towards everything, and this is when she started falling behind in college. She was finally convinced to go to her doctor about it. They completely cut her off cold turkey and I took 3 days off to take care of her and things around the house while she went through withdrawels. It was hell. After that she all of a sudden got better, and things were fine between us for a few days afterwards, then she started acting like she didn't need me anymore.

[SRV]

Sorry that you are going through this. Is there a possibility that there might be someone else?

[Schlicky77]

I've had that feeling, since she's kind of done it in the past, with the online thing, and the girl she made out with. But I've done a little digging here and there on her computer and have not found anything. But she knows I'm a computer geek so I'm sure if she is doing something, it is not on the computer. But there are times where she goes to the store or something and she's gone longer than usual. I've asked her and she denies anything is going on, but then again I don't know many people that would admit to it right up front.

[Dexter Morgan]

My friends and family are telling me just to cut my wife loose and let her fend for herself for a while

 

I think your friends and family are right. You should listen to them. Only don't let her fend for herself for a while, let her fend for herself permanently, or until she finds some other fool.

 

The way she treated you and betrayed you, she doesn't deserve to be supported.

 

 

and to just support my daughter.

 

Your daughter should be your only concern. Question is, are you in a position to take custody? If so, get it.

 

 

But that is easier said than done. My wife is in college and does not have a job, and I'm the only source of income.

 

Too bad for her, she better put herself on the fast track to graduation and get a job. She should have thought about that before deciding she'd rather fool around on the father of her child.

[Schlicky77]

Your daughter should be your only concern. Question is, are you in a position to take custody? If so, get it.

 

Oh definately. I've always had a steady job, no history of drug addiction, no criminal record, etc. etc.

[flmomma]

at least you care about your wife. my husband has said some of the nastiest meanest things i have ever heard in my life about me. tells his friends and family every flaw about our marriage and peronal life. even about our sex life!! i don't know who he is anymore. we are strictly NC but it's killing me. why doesn't he WANT to call me or see me? he is now living with his brother and two single females. one of them has a baby. he sees that kids more than his own. he never calls to check on them or talk to them, and i go insane worrying about them the one day he has them. i just don't understand how someone can be so heartless, someone who was sending me e-mails 6 months ago telling me how much he loves me and needs me. and now, he hates me and never loved me. ahhhhhh im so tired of this. i just want to let go, then every time i think im starting to, something reminds me of him or the life we used to have.