Beatnik Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 OK this is going to be a two-parter, so please bare with me. Issue One: At the end of the school year last year and during the summer, I went on dates with this girl at my school who I never really knew before. Before the dates she was giving me signs, whether they were sincere or she was just playing with me I dont know. But we would always say hi, and smile in the halls, talk, etc. Well, we lost touch during the summer, after I called her but she never returned my call. Well school started about two weeks ago, and the only contact we've had has been in the hallway ONCE, we met eyes, she smiled, I smiled, end of story. Now this may seem normal, but we have TWO classes together and havent even spoken to each other ONCE, even after all the talking we did just a few months earlier. We have met eyes several times in class, but we both kindof look away when we do so. I once got up in class to turn in a paper, and as I passed by her I could tell her eyes were following me as I walked, but I didnt turn my head to meet them. Now one may sum this up as us both being nervous, but I don't believe so, because she is really outgoing to everyone, and I doubt that a girl like her would be into a guy like me. So my question is what do you guys think is up? because I don't know what to think. Issue Two: I'm starting to get an impression that two girls that I'm friends with are becoming attracted to me. Theyre always talking with me in my classes, and I think on of them is giving me the eye. Anyone have any advice on subtle ways to find out? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 13, 2003 Share Posted September 13, 2003 Issue #1: It's really hard to say what is going on with her. You say you lost contact after you called her once and she didn't call back? When you left the message, did you ask her to call you back? (I know this is semantics, but I generally don't call people back unless they tell me to. Otherwise I assume they just called to chat, and I will talk to them later on.) Did you try to call her at all after that? She may be thinking you lost interest, you may be thinking she lost interest...isn't dating fun? I think you should initiate a conversation with her next time you see her and see how she reacts. Take careful note of her body language and how receptive she seems to talking to you. This could all have just been major miscommunication. Issue: #2: The only way to find out is to ask them out on a date...I seriously doubt they would be talking to you so much if they didn't like you, though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 Yeah in the message I said give me a call, but she never did. I did try a time or two to call her after that, but she didnt answer both times, but I didnt leave a message. LOL yeah dating is fun *note sarcasm lol. There was always this weird ackwardness between us, but the thing is that it was only when we WERE NOT on a date, on dates we got along like we had been friends forever, but say we bump into each other in the hallway at school then theres this ackward tension that shows up. She did speak to me the other day, just a "hi bobby" as she passed me, but she never looked at me, even when I said "hi" back to her, and she was like 2 feet in front of me! Its weird. I really like this girl, she is just so cool and smart and gorgeous. But I don't know arggg. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 There was always this weird ackwardness between us, but the thing is that it was only when we WERE NOT on a date, on dates we got along like we had been friends forever, but say we bump into each other in the hallway at school then theres this ackward tension that shows up. I know exactly what you mean. Usually this happens when you like a person, though, because you feel weird and goofy around them. So...I don't know what to tell you really except that maybe you should try once to initiate a conversation with her and just see how it goes. You should be able to tell fairly easily if she seems like she wants to talk to you or wants to get the conversation over with and move on with her day. I don't think one more try would be creepy or weird. Do you have any way of getting any gossip or dirt about how she feels about you through anyone else at school? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 Yeah, sometimes I think she does like me and is nervous, then other times I feel like I'm just creeping her out. I'm really not sure, you see I suppose I'm a bit of a late bloomer, I was a fat, ugly, pimply guy for a long time, but I lost the weight the summer before last, and lost the acne this last summer and got quite a bit better-looking. But I'm still pretty unsure of myself, but when I'm around people I'm really confident, but when I'm alone I analyze every little thing that happens between me and the opposite sex, especially girls that I like. I'm a nice guy, but not TOO nice, ya know?. I'm also smart, confident, funny and loyal. I was really surprised when I was given a 8.8 out of 10 on the HOTorNOT website, lol. I do have a way to see if she likes me, but I don't know if I trust the sources really well. You see most of her friends are guys, but from what she tells me, theyve had crushes on her for a long time. A while back a friend (whom this girl has no interest in whatsoever) of mine took it upon himself to ask one of these friends if this girl was interested in anyone, and he responded with a fairly vague description of who this person was (I fit into it) but never named names. I'm almost certain that these friends know I've been on dates with her, so I think that if I asked them they would purposly try to throw me off if she does indeed like me. In a seperate post I'll give a brief history of what has happened between me and this girl. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 I have been going to school with this girl since about 6th grade (I'm a senior now) but we had NEVER spoken to each other, I never really even noticed her because we were from completly different social circles. But one day last year before summer started she just stopped me in the hall and said "Hey Bobby, I just wanted to say that I really like that Jay and Silent Bob shirt you have" at first I was like, "She still goes to school here?" but it definitly sparked an interest in her. After that I started noticing her everywhere (I guess my head was up my ass for 6 years, lol). When we would pass in the halls we would meet eyes and smile, saying hi sometimes. It started out as a once in a while thing, but soon we were doing it every single school day. So I decided I was going to ask her out, and I did. She gave me both her home and cell phone numbers, and actually seemed quite nervous, which is surprising because who would be nervous over a shmuck like me, right? lol. We went on the date, it went great, it was like we had been friends forever and when it was over, we hugged goodnight. I learned that we had the same taste in music and movies and had very similar senses of humor. Back at school, same hallway ritual. I came up to her again and asked if she wanted to do something that weekend, but she said she had to go on a trip with her youth group, so I said "well another time I guess" to which she tilted her head to the side, looked me in the eye and said, "sure" very sweetly. So later on I asked her out again, but she was busy, but invited me to watch movies at her house with her friends. I was surprised when I got there, because all of these "friends" were geeky boys, kindof like me. But things turned out weirdly. She didn't really pay any attention to me the whole night, and she kindof curled up with one of her friends. It sucked for me, I guess I had gotten my hopes up. I didn't really pay attention to the movie, I just kindof watched them, looking for something concrete, like a kiss, but it never came, and I noticed her look at me when I looked at them. After a while a bunch of the guys left so I decided I was going to cut my losses and take off too. After that I decided not to call her. But she came to the place that I work at, but I suspect it wasnt to look at our merchandise, and she told me she liked my recently-dyed hair and said we should hang out during the summer. I made sure she still had my number, and waited for her to call, but after a week she still hadnt so I called her and we went on a double date. It went well also, and she volunteered alot of personal info: Status of virginity, secrets, etc. She also explaned, unprovoked, that the guy she cuddled up with was just a friend that was always there when she needed a guy to hold her. She also dropped alot of hints about how she liked to be treated, like how she hated arrogant, cocky guys, and jocks. Well we ended up being at this college orientation at the same time, she said she was going to go home and watch a movie. Well a while after the orientation I called her and asked if she wanted any company, she said her friend was coming over and she didnt even want him to come over, because she screwed up while balancing her checkbook and wasnt feeling really good about it. So I gave her a few days to herself, and I called her again, but she didnt answer, and you know the rest of the story. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 It sounds to me like she likes you. But I have no idea why she didn't return your calls... Hmmm...I stand by what I said originally. Give it one more shot in a noncreepy, nonthreatening way. And let me know what happens! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 Yeah I agree. I was thinking of just running into her and starting a converstation, but I want to try to work in, "Whats up? We havent talked in a while" just casually, I try to avoid all things creepy and threatening. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 "Whats up? We havent talked in a while" just casually This sounds good to me! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 14, 2003 Author Share Posted September 14, 2003 Yeah lol. I'm really choosy with my words, but usually when the time comes I just pull something out of my ass thats even better to say. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 17, 2003 Author Share Posted September 17, 2003 Well today in class, she ended up sitting two seats down from me (our class is in a circle). Well another girl asked me to pass a piece of paper over to her, so I whisper her name, and handed her the paper, and she acted really appreciative, as if I had just handed her a rose. I'm getting more of an impression that she wants to talk, but I think shes afraid to take the initiative, because she keeps doing these things where she acknowleges my presence, but in a way where it isnt completly obvious. Like if I'm coming into a class right behind her, she'll make sure to hold the door open for me, but won't say anything, just little stuff like that. Also the other day, the same day where she was watching me as I passed her in class, she whispered something to the friends that sit around her, and they pointed and looked in my general direction, as if to say, "oh THAT Bobby"? I unfortunatly have not gotten a good opportunity to talk with her, because she talks with her friends alot and I don't want to intrude. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Talk to her! Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 After having read this whole thread through, I've got to say I'm entirely with Clia on this. Talk to her! Work yourself up to accepting the possibility that there may not be anything there, but hope that there is a possibility. (The whole "expect the worst, but hope for the best" idea, you know?) Honestly, what is the worst thing that could happen if you do talk to her? You'll find out instead of having this big fat question mark floating in front of you every time you think of her. The truth, in spite of its chance at being hurtful, is a far greater asset to have than the unknown. Let yourself be you and just approach her. There is no need to pour yourself out all over her. Simply initiate small talk conversation with her, and perhaps ask her if you can call her later, or perhaps ask if she'd like to get coffee sometime. Let her know you would like to talk with her again. Also...Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 17, 2003 Author Share Posted September 17, 2003 OK, today after one of our classes, I ended up walking like right behind her, so I sped up and said, "hey whats up". She didn't even turn around, she just responded, obviously she knew it was me. We had a peppy little conversation as we walked, and it was as if we never stopped talking. So I think are lines of communication are back up again Didn't get a chance to mention that we havent talked in forever, though. Link to post Share on other sites
2SidestoStories Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Pardon me... Seriously, though. You're only allowed to live each moment as it comes, so don't sweat the small stuff. You got the chat up and going again, so now, just keep at it! btw...nice avatar. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted September 17, 2003 Share Posted September 17, 2003 Let me tell you something......if I were only 10 years younger.......I would give her a run for your attentionn! Maybe then we could make her real jealous! Tee, hee, hee I am bad! On a more serious note, just stay talking to the girl. Everyone likes to feel that they are important to someone. I have read the thread and from what I am getting.....it sounds as though back in high school you and she were in totally different social circles and we all know that in high school social circles are very strict. I cross my fingers for you that you have a chance to get to know this girl and have a relationship with her! Be sure of yourself and stay strong - you're a handsome guy and it sounds as though your'e pretty smart too! Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 17, 2003 Author Share Posted September 17, 2003 Well in actuality we are STILL in high school. But it took me a few years to realize that the social circles arent that strict at my high school, in fact regularly geeks hang with preps, and the punks sometimes hang out with the jocks, but still we didnt talk much. In fact when I first went out with her I wasnt expecting much, but was surprised to learn we have ALOT in common, and that possess so many qualities that I find attractive. And thanks for the intelligence comment, as a matter of fact, the two classes I share with this girl are both AP classes. And thanks for the kudos for my avatar. Link to post Share on other sites
Bubbles Posted September 18, 2003 Share Posted September 18, 2003 You're more than welcome! Bubbles Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 21, 2003 Author Share Posted September 21, 2003 UPDATE: Well today, I was putting up homecoming decorations at school (a really abnormal action for me, lol) and the girl in question was there too. We didn't really have a chance to talk most of the day, but near the end we were all in a group talking. Well when it came time to leave I walked her to her car, which was right next to mine. Her hands were full so she asked me to get her keys out of her purse and let her in her car, which I did of course. I mentioned that we should hang out again and she said "yes we do". I also mentioned how we had stopped talking and she said it wasnt just me, that she had stopped talking to almost everyone over the summer. So my foots back in the door, and I'll probably ask her if she wants to go to one of the concerts coming next month. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 Jeez I'm getting confused again... She has said a few times that she wants to hang out more, but she NEVER talks to me. I have initiated conversation a few times, but she always seems annoyed, and starts talking to someone else fairly quickly. But if were on a date, its one on one ultra friendly conversation spectacular (I sound like a Japanese game show host ) She is really outgoing to everyone except me...whats up? Link to post Share on other sites
jenny Posted September 22, 2003 Share Posted September 22, 2003 But if were on a date, its one on one ultra friendly conversation spectacular (I sound like a Japanese game show host ) she might be nervous around you..i'm pretty outgoing until i'm around someone i really like, then i'm more like ralph wiggam. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 22, 2003 Author Share Posted September 22, 2003 Yeah but when we are on a date by ourselves she doesnt seem nervous at all. But say in the hallway at school or on a double date she doesnt say much to me. On a previous date we had she pretty much summed up what she really thought of all her friends and talked about how she hated jocks and cocky guys, yet they are her friends and she hangs out with them! She even went to lunch with one of her jock friends today! She does things like pass me in the hall and say hi, but she can be a desk away from me and she wont say a word to me, or even acknowledge my presence half the time. I suppose it is possible that she could be nervous, because I'm the same way: I'm really outgoing and confident just being around school, but when I try to talk to her at school I do get kindof nervous. But on a date I'm not nervous at all. We have so many things in common, could we also have the same type of nervousness? Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 23, 2003 Share Posted September 23, 2003 We have so many things in common, could we also have the same type of nervousness? Could be, but this concerns me: I have initiated conversation a few times, but she always seems annoyed, and starts talking to someone else fairly quickly Does she seem nervous/annoyed, or does she seem I-don't-want-to-talk-to-Beatnik/irritated/annoyed? Or can you even tell? If she's nervous around you when you are all around other people, she may just want to talk to someone else ASAP because of her nervousness. But if she doesn't want to talk to you at all, she may seek them out so she doesn't have to talk to you at all. Do you feel any read on what her situation is? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 23, 2003 Author Share Posted September 23, 2003 Now that I think about it maybe "annoyed" isnt really the correct word, its more like she seems really stressed around me, but it may not be me at all. She's kindof the type that gets in a bad mood when her day doesnt go well. I can remember most of the times when I have asked her how shes doing, she generally replies: pretty ****ty. I'm pretty sure that she welcomes me talking to her, since she says hi to me every once in a while, I would think she wouldnt do that to someone she didnt like. Whenever she stops to talk to someone else its usually about something important, like club meetings, game times, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Beatnik Posted September 23, 2003 Author Share Posted September 23, 2003 please people, I can use everyone's opinion on this Link to post Share on other sites
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