Author ATR Posted December 18, 2008 Author Share Posted December 18, 2008 It's about 2-3hours by train, i can go see her. She said she would meet me but said she wouldnt change her mind, so i dont know if it will be a wasted trip... Link to post Share on other sites
LavendarGirl Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Hmm, well it might be worth the trip, either she is willing to give things another try or she says once and for all it is over. But your getting on a train to go and see her certainly shows your intent on keeping the R alive and well. What do you think? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATR Posted December 19, 2008 Author Share Posted December 19, 2008 Well i've asked my friend to come with me to a shopping centre near to her house. I have asked her if i can call her tonight by text which she hasnt replied to yet. I will ask her if we can meet next monday or tuesday. I will try and convince her that it can work. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 19, 2008 Share Posted December 19, 2008 I will try and convince her that it can work. Trying to convince someone of something with which they have already implied or stated they do not agree, is seldom if ever, a wise choice. More often than not, it leads to arguments, trying to manipulate each other, frustration, disappointment, hurtful words, pain, etc. In any case, according to your post #18, there really isn't much evidence of a chance for it to work well. Your feelings of frequently being the 'injured party' who is spending all his money and deserving so much more, just is not conducive to having a positive, mutually rewarding relationship. (Even if the post was more of a vent, it still is reflecting your more constant, persistent doubts about things.) Sorry that you are going through this, right now...there's never a good time to break up but it sucks even more so close to the Holidays. (((hugs))) Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATR Posted December 19, 2008 Author Share Posted December 19, 2008 I know but i keep having mood swings One minute i really want her, the next i feel it might be a good thing... She broke up with me because we never saw eachother. I just want to meet her so i can tell her that we can or could have see eachother so much more. If she had told me before, instead of suddenly breaking up with me, then i would have taken action. I just think that this relationship can be saved Well i text her earlier if i could call her. She said no because she had friends round. I then asked her if we could meet up next week and she said she would think about it... Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 Even if you're prepared to see her more, her mom is still going to be concerned for her safety when she is traveling to see you and you are still going to feel pissed cos you're spending all the money (to travel to her.) So. All the other negative factors are still going to exist and nothing will actually be "better" in the relationship. It's also possible that mentioning about your lack of seeing each other was just the easiest one for her to tell you about. Most likely she also got the vibe of your negativity (as per your post #18), and that was as much of a turn-off...perhaps even more. You just didn't have a good attitude towards her or the relationship, is also the truth, according to your own post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATR Posted December 20, 2008 Author Share Posted December 20, 2008 Ok, i admit i had an outburst in post 18... i would never say anything like that to her though, i know my boundaries. I have asked her if i can meet her and she said she will think about it. I don't mind only visiting her, i will ask if we can split the costs though. She is such an independant girl though, she's always going to house parties, music festivals etc and those are far more "dangerous" than coming to visit me. Link to post Share on other sites
Ronni_W Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 That may be true in reality but her mom has a thought that the traveling is more dangerous...and it is her mom's beliefs about it that was and will be the stumbling block. I understood that you probably hadn't verbalized any of your post #18 vent to her. But that doesn't mean that she didn't get the 'vibe' of your thoughts and attitude. Unless they are totally insensitive and/or self-obsessed, people frequently do sense such things, both positive and negative. It is a possibility that she sensed it...and if she is compassionate and perceptive, a highly likely possibility. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATR Posted December 20, 2008 Author Share Posted December 20, 2008 No, that was an outburst during NC so i highly doubt she "sensed" my "bad attitude" towards her. I'm going to see her on monday or tuesday or not at all. I think a good suggestion is that i vist her for now, a gradually get introduced to her mum. I will ask if we can split the cost of my journey to make it more "fair". This is if she takes me back that is. Link to post Share on other sites
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