Ex w/ unhealthy fetishes: I found out she was cheating on me with different guys

[mikeyguy]

I don't know whether I looking for advice, support or commodore. Maybe I just need to get this all out. I broke up w/ my x-gf a couple of weeks ago. She just needed too much time from me and I had to focus on things (work, studying for exams and etc). I' tried to sorta fix the situation by trying to talk to her and let her know that I have to do these things for my future, but we can manage things (I'm 24 planning going to grad school, she's 21 and in college). But, she just shut me out and started crying that I didn't love her and all that. Which is not true, but I can't give her full attention all of my time. She just couldn't fathom the concept that I needed to do things for myself. Always, this is getting a little off topic; I broke up with her due to this. I rationalized that this would be the only fair thing because if she needs more attention from a guy she could then find one. I tried to explain I still care for her, but she and I have different needs and a compromise doesn't seem feasible.

 

So I found out she was cheating on me with different guys. And these guys were like 43 and 51. She subscribed to some discussion board for older white guys meeting young Asian girls while we were together. She used to mention these guys by names and said “oh they are just friends” and everything is platonic. But finding this out made a deep sinking feeling in my stomach. I mean I already broke up with her and everything and tried to keep everything friendly and positive . I picked the best time to break up with her and etc. such that she'd have friends around her for support and all that. But the thought of her sleeping with some old guy and then spending the night over @ my apartment because she can sleep better (and not be in the mood whatsoever), just makes feel like this whore used me. And used me bad. I was in love and cared for and spent much of my time in my prime on this nutcase whore. I'm a 24 y/o male and if I'm in a good relationship I need to get it, I was never demanding or anything. I just said I understand dear and tried to ease myself to sleep. But to think I was sharing this girl with some old sicko makes me want to puke.

 

Anyone else have simular stories?

 

Amiss is a cesspool of thoughts,

Mikeyguy

[moimeme]

commodore

 

you're looking for the chief officer of a yacht club?

 

Amiss is a cesspool of thoughts

 

? huh ?

 

Liking older men does not constitute a 'fetish', nor is it necessarily 'unhealthy' per se. She might want a daddy figure or she might just want a sugar daddy. I'll be interested to hear what you have to say when you're an 'old sicko' yourself.

 

The unfortunate fact is that you found yourself a person who has undesirable qualities. This illustrates perfectly how people can 'fall in love' and then find out that the person they fell for is not all they first seemed to be. It's a life lesson we all have had in some way or another. Forget her and move on. Unless there is a question of diseases, there is no further reason to dwell on what happened.