still feeling guilty about bringing my brother to the ER

[aquaria127]

it's been about 2 years since this happened, but lately i've been feeling guilty again about something I did. My problem is, I don't know how to forgive myself. I think this is a pretty unique story, but I could be wrong, millions of people live in the world.

my youngest brother (4 years younger than me) and I were living in a city together for about 3 months while I did an internship. One night he came home totally drunk and puking and pissing all over himself. I panicked and drove him to the ER so they could hook him up to an IV in case of alcohol poisoning. I later realized he was just really drunk and probably I have given him a blanket and some aleve, instead of bringing him there. I've been drunk and my friends have been drunk but I hadn't actually seen someone so drunk as he was that day. Our dad had brought him to a hospital for the same exact thing about 3 months before I did .... i'm the oldest, maybe I was being overprotective like usual.

 

I felt so badly and yes I have apologized, many times that summer, until he told me he would feel better if we didn't ever tell anyone in the family. I just don't know how to deal with this guilt that I'm still feeling. how can you just act like it never happened, and that I did it? I'm sure that either of my brothers would never bring me to the er for something like this, they would know better and wouldn't panic.

 

I would really appreciate any if anyone has similar stories, how it was "dealt with" or any other words. I don't need comments about how dumb it was. Cause I already know that. I'm Just not sure how to deal with it. Not even our mom knows, and usually I would ask her for advice. But obviously, since we swore each other to secrecy, I can't ask anyone...

[Tony T]

For God's sake. You took your brother to the hospital as a precaution that could have saved his life. People DO die from alcohol poisoning each and every day. It's a deadly disease. Why YOU choose to feel guilty because you did the RIGHT thing, I cannot understand. What if he had been on his way to death and YOU HAD NOT taken him to the hospital, wouldn't you feel really guilty then??? Maybe if enough people take him to the hospital when he has these stupid, ignorant, mornic, idiotic, irresponsible bouts with pathetic drunkenness, he will learn to control his urge for alcohol.

 

It really pisses the hell out of me that somebody who tried to save her brother's life would feel guilty for doing so. Never, ever feel guilty for seeking to get somebody medical attention...and when there's doubt, that's even MORE reason to do so.

 

Now that your brother's OK and you're in a major crisis over this guilt crap, I think he owes you a ride to a very good counsellor who can work with you on this highly irrational guilt trip you're taking yourself on. Man, if I tried to save somebody's life, I would be riding high...I don't care if they were just constipated and I thought they were having a baby.

 

By the way, if you're dad is also for feeling guilty for taking him to the hospital for the same thing, have him go to counselling with you.

 

And by the way again, if your brother is such a sorry drinker that he acts like he's dying after he gets drunk, I think he's on his way to a very serious problem. I hope you can get him some medical and psychological intervention before he turns into a first class alcoholic and perhaps kills himself by accident or something. And don't feel guilty about it. Your brother is making a totaly fool out of himself and if he hasn't told you a hundred times to stop feeling guilty about trying to save his life, he's a super jerk as well.

[HokeyReligions]

You have ABSOLUTLY NOTIHING to feel guilty about! You did the right thing. If someone is in a crisis situation and you don't know what to do -- seek medical help. You would feel much worse if he had died from alcohol poising.

 

If anything, your brother should know that what you did, you did because you love him and were very worried about his life.

 

When I was in Jr. High I called an ambulance for my mother. She was in pain and hurting and had taken medicine herself, but was almost incoherent from the pain. The ambulance came and they took her to the hospital. I was too young to drive and had no other family around so I rode in the ambulance with her. It was so scary! We got to the hospital and they made me wait in chairs while they took mom in the back somewhere to check her heart. I thought she was having a heart attack. I waited for hours. The ambulance drivers came back with another emergency and saw me still waiting - the desk nurses wouldn't tell me anything. One of the paramedics came and talked to me and then went and talked to the nurses and sometime later a doctor came and told me that I could take my mother home and they called a cab for us. My mother was so embarassed. It wasn't her heart at all she had really bad gas! I remember that I felt mortified because I called an ambulance for her and I felt like some really dumb kid and could almost hear people in my mind making fun of me for going to such an extreme, but the doctors and the paramedics told me that I did exactly the right thing and not to let anyone tell me different. If anyone made fun of me I should just ask them "Are you a doctor? Could you have diagnosed her properly? If it had been a heart attack, my actions might have saved her life" and to never forget that.

 

Also, when my mom was living in California (I'm in Texas) I had been trying to call her all day and the line was busy. I tried off an on for like six hours. I finally called the police station in Modesto and told them I was concerned about her and gave them her address. They asked what kind of cars might be around her house and asked me a bunch of questions that really made me nervous. They drove to her house and knocked on the door. She had just taken a bit of a liverwurst and onion sandwich and was shocked to see the police there. They told her I'd been trying to reach her and it was discovered that the last time she put the phone down she hadn't got in on the hook right so it had been off all day - hence the busy signal. She hung up her phone and called me and the police also called me back right away to tell me she was okay.

 

So you see, things like this happen to us all. The news is full of stories where people died because someone didn't take it seriously enough, or didn't know what to do. Thank goodness - you do know the right thing to do.

[Hunter]

Don't ever feel guilty about doing what you thought was right.

 

When I was dating my b/f at the time, he came home in a drunken state and was very out of it and delirious, and I thought that he was just drunk.

 

Turns out that he was a severe diabetic and this was signs of him going into a diabetic coma.

My first instinct was to take him home and let him sleep it off, but I decided to take him to the emergency room at the hospital, turns out his blood sugar was 41.9 and most people would have died or went into a coma at this point.

 

So don't beat yourself up, most imporantly you did the right thing.

Just be happy that you care about your family members in order to react such as you .

[aquaria127]

You know what, you guys are all right. I just sometimes feel retarded about what I did. Thanks for your kind words, I'll try to remember what yall said next time I think about it.

 

Aloha!