Lishy Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 Can someone tell me if you ever get over your fear of an abusive ex?? I left him 4 years ago and he still scares me Why cant I get over this and realise he is just one person and that I am not defenceless!!!!!!!!!!!! He lives around the corner from my mum and I get nervous and anxious every time I go to visit her and I am ashamed to say that it stops me visiting!! We have a son together who he is taking me to court to see as he made my son scared of him with his unpredictability and vile mouth. He has never hit any of us. He is mentally ill and you can never say how he will react Somebody tell me I will not feel like this for the rest of my life PLEASE! Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 I don't know if you've considered or pursued this, but taking instruction in affirmative self-defense and/or the martial arts can imbue a sense of calm and confidence about your person and personal safety. In particular, the spiritual and meditation focuses of martial arts can be helpful. Accepting and channeling fear into productive and positive action. I can't say I've ever been in your shoes, but I was bullied and physically beaten as a child and it did leave an impression on me, one as much of anger as of fear. Now I know they both come from the same place. Accepting that reality and the path of those who created it has been very helpful for me as an adult Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 27, 2008 Share Posted November 27, 2008 The problem as I see it is that you will always be connected. Through your son. bear in mind though, that this guy is mentally ill. But I guess he's having treatment, and will have to prove that as an ongoing and improving situation. mental illness is a terrible thing. You're not in control, and it makes you do stuff you wouldn't do as a 'sane' person..... It may not be what you want to hear right now, but - try to cut the guy some slack.. you know Lishy, if you perpetuate this feeling of fear and stay with it, you'll end up letting it control every aspect of your life. You're already letting it prevent you from seeing your mum! When was the last time you spoke to him for any period of time? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lishy Posted November 27, 2008 Author Share Posted November 27, 2008 How do I get rid of this fear? Yes I can do self defence, good idea. I hate this man with everything I have. I cannot bear him and have wished him dead many times. He can never be a good role model for my son I need to get over this fear, I know me being anxious doesnt help anything but I cant let it go for some reason and I am normally a really mentally strong person Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 28, 2008 Share Posted November 28, 2008 Lishy, study my signatures. Much as occasionally I wish they were not true, or that I could find a flaw in them, I can't and haven't been able to all the time I've known them. If I can be of any help (remember I'm in the UK) PM me. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts