my granfathers birthday

[Patty]

Today is my grandfathers birthday.I just all of a sudden feel sad.He isnt around for me to talk to anymore.I still have such a hard time getting use to it.I dont think I ever will.We were real close and everytime we got together we had such good times.I dont have any grandfathers left.I just want to have him back again.Every year I feel like this.I sometimes think Im over it but when his birthday comes or holidays,I get sad all over again.I cry thinking about all those fun times we had.Sometimes I just dont want to believe its real.

 

Patty

[cindy0039]

Patty, I'm so sorry. And I know exactly how you feel. I go through the same thing every year around the time of my father's birthday, even though he died over 20 years ago. It's just a natural thing. I think about how old he would be now and that my son never got to know his grandfather and how important he would have been in his life.

 

But in your case you got to spend a lot of time with your grandfather and you should concentrate on the happy times you had with him and try to smile and be glad that you did have those times with him....and that you will see him again someday.

[quankanne]

ditto Cindy's thoughts, here.

 

Patty, while it's normal to be sad when it comes up on an anniversary or birthday of someone who's passed away, don't let that be the biggest emotion of the day. Smile and think of all the wonderful things you have been able to share with that person, and instead of thinking about him being gone, celebrate your grandpa's life and what he meant to you. If it means going out and splurging on a huge banana split or listening to some of his favorite music in his memory, go for it. I usually treat myself to lunch on a friend or relative's birthday if I can't be with them, and I guarantee, I feel happy and sort of connected to them in my own small way by celebrating them.

 

love,

quank

[Patty]

Thats a good way of looking at it.I still have a cassette tape of me and him talking maybe I should listen to it.But I will probably cry more.One of the things he would do when visiting us,was having one of us make him a decaf coffee.So maybe I should make him one to celebrate.

 

Thanks.

 

Patty

[Tony T]

By the time I was born, both of my grandmother's had died and only one grandfather was still alive. Instead of feeling sad, take the time to celebrate that you were able to know and spend time with your grandfather. Many people, like me, will never know one or more of their grandparents at all.

[Patty]

Im sorry Tony.

 

Patty

[HokeyReligions]

I understand Patty, both of my grandfathers and one grandmother were all dead by the time I was born. My grandmother died when I was 16 - a year after my father died.

 

Its hard not to cry for them, and sometimes I think that crying is okay. Sunday I finally got down the box of photographs of my kids. I haven't had that box down in 10 years, except to put the newest photos on the top of the stack. I haven't looked at photos of my daughter since she died in '99, or my son since he died in '02. Pictures of the dogs we lost in '02 were there too and I just felt overwhelmed on Sunday. I sat there and looked at the pictures and cried and when I closed my eyes I could feel them each in my arms, and smell their hair, and hear their voices. And I just cried and cried because I miss them so much. Then I put away the box and got some tea and focused on something else for a while. The cry did me good. So if you feel blue and need to cry, do it, but then put the tears away and think how your grandfather would appreciate that you still love him, but not want you to spend too much time grieving for him.