stacyr72 Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 i by accident blurted out i love you, during sex with this guy i am dating on friday. i was so embarassed. this has never happened to me before. i mean, i am in serious like, but not in love with him. what should i do? i feel like he has false ideas now of how i feel. i think it will make him feel anxious...like this is all too soon (how i am feeling right now). any suggestions on how to fix this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
jalexy Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 what did he say when you said it? you will have to tell him that it was a mistake and you got caught up in the moment and that you are really sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stacyr72 Posted September 8, 2003 Author Share Posted September 8, 2003 He just laughed....and then i felt tense the rest of the time we were together. I didn't want to stop to talk about it then and there in the middle of awesome sex....now i feel uneasy as to what to do... Link to post Share on other sites
Just2cute Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 Hello It is very common to say "I love you" during the throws of passion. If you feel comfortable enough, just tell him. Explain to him, that although you care about him, and there is potential for love, that it your confession was an accident. It is almose the same as when you end a telephone call with someone you care about. You automatically want to end it with "I love you". Same with lovemaking. I don't think you should feel dumb at all. Let me know how it goes. Sincerely, Just Link to post Share on other sites
Author stacyr72 Posted September 8, 2003 Author Share Posted September 8, 2003 i just feel like it will put him off to think i am further along emotionally than i truly am....he isn't ready for the big commitment and i want things to move ahead naturally. do you think i should call to talk about it or wait until i see him again? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 chances are, it's already gone from his head, so I wouldn't worry myself about it. If he didn't freak out when it happened, then he's probably okay with those words leaving your mouth during a heated, passionate moment. Follow his lead, and don't worry about it so much. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stacyr72 Posted September 8, 2003 Author Share Posted September 8, 2003 So, you think I should act like it never happened. And wait until he calls and I see him again? I just don't want him to over analyze those 3 words and decide this is moving too fast and then he pulls back.... Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted September 8, 2003 Share Posted September 8, 2003 Yah I was having sex with my ex this last weekend and almost did the same thing! It would have prolly ruined the moment, but I wouldn't bring it up unless he does. Saying "I love you", for the first time to someone, during sex, doesn't really count I think. Its almost natural to want to tell them that, if they mean anything at all to you. Id try not to worry about it. And btw, what is it with girls thinking guys over analyze things? My ex used to tell me that sometimes. Just chill and see what happens next time you are together. Link to post Share on other sites
Author stacyr72 Posted September 8, 2003 Author Share Posted September 8, 2003 well, about a month ago, he got weirded out when he thought i wanted more of a commitment then he did, so now i guess i am overanalyzing what happens... i never blurted out i love you in the heat of the moment...it just fell out of my mouth. i will wait and see when he calls i guess....the patience and waiting part is what kills me... Link to post Share on other sites
Clancy Posted September 9, 2003 Share Posted September 9, 2003 I understand the ramifications here but isn't it a somewhat sad that that saying "I love you" can bring such anxiety to a relationship. Tell your partner that there are only two major motivations in this world: Fear and Love, and to Love someone in the truest sense really means that your greatest desire for them is that they grow as a human being and develop to their greatest potential. So since you were having sex with this person I don't think it's wrong to consider that you also Love them. Link to post Share on other sites
Curt Posted September 9, 2003 Moderators Share Posted September 9, 2003 Please forgive my naive, "old fashioned" nature, but... Why is it that being in love with someone is no longer a precursor to being intimate with them? My my my...if you care about this guy enough to share your body and affection with him, shouldn't you actually be in LOVE with him? If that was the case, he wouldn't be any more surprised or taken aback by those three beautiful words than you would be for saying them. I dunno...it all seems so "back up" to me. VERY VERY old fashioned of me I suppose...but I'm not making any apologies for feeling this way. Curt Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts