LovieDove24 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 I wouldnt necessarily consider myself an alcoholic. But I was raised in a family full of them and I see my addictive personality shine through in other aspects. Anyways, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and prayer and I believe it is not my path in life to keep drinking. The risk invlolved since my parents were alcoholics seems to great now that I have my beautiful daughter with me. I am afraid drinking could become a slippery slope for me given my background. I do not want my daughter to have the same life I did growing up. Again like I said I feel like I am nipping potentially harmful habits in the bud. Does anyone have advice on how to execute this effectively? I am still young (24) and it seems drinking is just so "normal" for my age group. I think the hardest times will be declining all my friends invites all the time. I am considering telling everyone in my life that I'm quitting so that I can hold myself accountable for it, is this a good idea? Link to post Share on other sites
Geishawhelk Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Absolutely. But because of your own personal history, and that of your family, those who know you may either not believe you, or not take you seriously. Find support with a local group, and ask your friends to help you as well. be frank with them. Tell them the reason, and be absolutely candid. If anyone DOES buy you a drink, or tries to ply you with alcohol, the polite, but firm comment would be.... "I'm sorry, which part of 'I don't drink anymore' didn't you quite understand..?' " and smile sweetly. Don't touch the drink, or have it because they got it for you and heck it would be a shame to waste it - Leave it. Be strong, and congratulations. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 Be aware your commitment may require re-aligning social alliances and friendships. It's not as easy as it sounds. Some social alliances revolve around alcohol. You may have to let some people go. Best wishes and encouragements in your journey. Link to post Share on other sites
motive2002 Posted November 29, 2008 Share Posted November 29, 2008 I am considering telling everyone in my life that I'm quitting so that I can hold myself accountable for it, is this a good idea? It is and it isn't. Yes holding yourself accountable helps you achieve your goal, but if you slip, you musn't beat yourself up over it. Telling your friends and family you've had a relapse can be very hard to do. If you're really serious, take a look into a 12 step program, perhaps get a sponsor, or at least find out what information you can on the internet. There is a lot of support all over the place for someone looking to kick alcohol. Link to post Share on other sites
Fun2BMe Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I am considering telling everyone in my life that I'm quitting so that I can hold myself accountable for it, is this a good idea? I don't think that would be a good idea to tell everyone. If you are every mad at anyone you might start drinking to 'punish' them. I wouldn't tie in your addiction to all the people in your life but instead try to get support elsewhere! Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
You'reasian Posted November 30, 2008 Share Posted November 30, 2008 I wouldnt necessarily consider myself an alcoholic. But I was raised in a family full of them and I see my addictive personality shine through in other aspects. Anyways, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and prayer and I believe it is not my path in life to keep drinking. The risk invlolved since my parents were alcoholics seems to great now that I have my beautiful daughter with me. I am afraid drinking could become a slippery slope for me given my background. I do not want my daughter to have the same life I did growing up. Again like I said I feel like I am nipping potentially harmful habits in the bud. Does anyone have advice on how to execute this effectively? I am still young (24) and it seems drinking is just so "normal" for my age group. I think the hardest times will be declining all my friends invites all the time. I am considering telling everyone in my life that I'm quitting so that I can hold myself accountable for it, is this a good idea? Congratulations. You can do it. Telling everyone in your life is fine, but even better - let others tell you that they've noticed you've stopped your social drinking. Try to let your actions show. Link to post Share on other sites
missdependant Posted December 1, 2008 Share Posted December 1, 2008 Tell people, yes. You will feel more pressured not to drink, and they will probably help keep you away from it and on your feet. Link to post Share on other sites
IWALH Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 I wouldnt necessarily consider myself an alcoholic. But I was raised in a family full of them and I see my addictive personality shine through in other aspects. Anyways, I have been doing a lot of soul searching and prayer and I believe it is not my path in life to keep drinking. The risk invlolved since my parents were alcoholics seems to great now that I have my beautiful daughter with me. I am afraid drinking could become a slippery slope for me given my background. I do not want my daughter to have the same life I did growing up. Again like I said I feel like I am nipping potentially harmful habits in the bud. Does anyone have advice on how to execute this effectively? I am still young (24) and it seems drinking is just so "normal" for my age group. I think the hardest times will be declining all my friends invites all the time. I am considering telling everyone in my life that I'm quitting so that I can hold myself accountable for it, is this a good idea? Find an AA meeting in your area and go to it. Keep going. Try different meetings. Build up a support group of sober friends and hang out with them frequently. Get a good sponsor. I am 24 as well and I am a very active member of AA. It has been the best thing in the world for me. I didn't have a problem drinking every day, but sometimes when I did drink I just went insane. It's not about alcohol... you'll find that out. Alcoholics do have an allergy to alcohol. The important stuff is what caused the "alcoholism," there are underlying issues. Go through the steps and you'll know what I am talking about. Link to post Share on other sites
Enema Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 The problem with AA and the 12 step program is that it's religious. 7 of the 12 steps are directly related, or mention god. Yeah great, if you're a christian. I am a pretty heavy drinker, probably have 20-25 standard drinks a week, most of them over 2 days on the weekend. I used to drink even more and my gf and family jibed me that I was an alcoholic. I decided to "show" them, so I chose to stop drinking for a month... then, I extended it to a full year. That year of non-drinking ended a few months ago and I'm drinking again now! Didn't really seem hard to give up for a full year - I just got involved in more sports to keep me busy and I enrolled in a new diploma. Moral of the story: "Spite" seems to be my best weapon. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 The problem with AA and the 12 step program is that it's religious. 7 of the 12 steps are directly related, or mention god. Yeah great, if you're a christian. There's always Rational Recovery, if you like the 12 step process but dislike the faith based aspect of AA. I really respect your decision to quit drinking. I quit drinking about 10 months before I conceived my son. I've been sober almost 2 years now. It's been a good thing, IMO, and hey - I saw your other thread about your tough situation being a single mom and I admit that I have saved a lot of money since I quit drinking and smoking cigarettes. I think it is a good idea to let friends and family know about your plan. That way, those close to you won't be inviting you to hang out and have beers or whatever. This is my experience, getting sober anyways. Those who love you are great resources of support, and my closest friends have found other ways to enjoy time with me that are not focused totally on alcohol. I'm 29, by the way, a bit older than you, but hey I was 27 when I quit! After time has passed - and that amount is different for everyone - you will totally be able to hang out with them while they drink and not even think twice about not drinking. At thanksgiving all the people at the dinner I was at were drinking, except me, my S/O, S/O's father, and the kids! They even made sangria, which was one of my favorites back in the day. I didn't bat an eyelash. Be well. I wish you a lot of success. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LovieDove24 Posted December 4, 2008 Author Share Posted December 4, 2008 IWALH I am interested in your reply. I think what I really need to do is find sober friends like you suggested. I think the thing that has held me back about going to AA is going in and saying "Hi my name is _____ and I'm an alcoholic." Because Im not so sure I am. I look around at friends my age and they all drink recreationally as I do. But maybe what you're saying the sole difference that makes me need to go to AA is my family history?? I'm not sure. Is this sorta what you were saying? I have been to a few al-anon meetings and those have helped a lot so far. In fact, in those meetings is where they suggested those of us working through our issues quit drinking. Did you ever attend these and did they not help the same as AA? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 You don't even have to say anything at AA meetings. Heck, I attended for a long time before I ever said a single word and I never shared all that much. Just hearing the stories of those who were further along than I made me think. I also agree that sober friends is a good idea, but to be honest - most of my friends still indulge, but none are alcoholics, so they can totally handle hanging out sans alcohol. BTW - I never drank every day, I was a binge drinker. Link to post Share on other sites
schewter Posted December 11, 2008 Share Posted December 11, 2008 AlainasMama..."if alcohol is affecting your life in a negative way then you are an alcoholic" so says an addiction counselor I once had...I knew people who were drunk daily for years (war vets some of them) and that is what I always compared myself to so I could rationalize that I aint so bad...but I needed to drink. Motivation is what did it for me in the end...I wanted my family more than the bottle; the life-style etc....I'm not a big fan of AA either, I can't buy into the "I'm powerless" philosophy...we are all ultimately responsible for our own actions. Good luck to you...love for a child is about as good a motivator as you can hope to find. Link to post Share on other sites
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