Nightmares of sexual assault?

[LovieDove24]

So I occasionaly have creepy dreams about being sexually uncomfortable around my dad. I havent had one in a long time so I cant really recall if he was actually touching me or anything in these dreams...I just can remember the overall feelings from the dreams being very very uncomfortable around my dad. In real life I get very creeped out when he touches me at all. I can hug him sometimes but anything further just feels "off." It may be important to add here that my dad has been an alcoholic my whole life.

 

Well anyways, after a few cocktails with my sister last night I asked her for the first time if she ever had dreams of being sexually assaulted by our dad and she said YES! I have never ever in my wildest dreams mentioned this to anyone, and this was the LAST response I expected to get.

 

I personally dont have any actual memories of our dad sexually abusing me. I am becoming worried that I have suppressed these memories and quite honestly, I'd prefer if they stay that way if they're real. My sister DID mention in our talk last night that she does remember two things: 1) She woke up one night around 9 or 10 years old and found our dad slepping in the bed with her wasted. He said "If you cant sleep next to your daughter who CAN you sleep next to. 2) She sat on his lap once and felt he had a boner.

 

Now the problem with her memories is that she remembers NO act or touching, just what was mentioned. I am beginning to feel really creeped out and all icky inside. HELP! What do you think this all means???

[Trialbyfire]

I think that you need a professional to help find the source of your discomfort. Anyone on LS, will just be guessing, without any real knowledge of your psychy or relationship. Be very careful that people don't steer you down the wrong road to assumption. This is very dangerous turf.

[LovieDove24]

TBF,

I agree with what you're saying to a certain point. But part of me doesnt even want to know where the heck this stuff is coming from. Its just too creepy and I think sometimes burying things may not be such a bad idea. I really was just lookin for some support here. Maybe not a definitive answer, just support.

[missdependant]

Okay, this is something I am not open about with many people.. but I feel like my identity is kept pretty confidential on this site. I would like to share an experience with you on a subject that is very touchy for me..

 

I have been having night terrors since I was eight years old. I continue to have them, and I am now 22 years old. Incidentally, I have been having a recurring dream about my stepfather molesting me in a hotel room since I was little (I am only assuming that these are related). In the same nights that I have had these dreams, i can clearly remember dreaming about various disney characters. Sometimes the dreams of him abusing me and the dreams of the disney characters seemed like separate dreams, other times the dreams seemed combined. In either case, I believe the dream about the hotel room and the dreams of the disney characters to be a reflection of a VERY real memory that I have suppressed for years and years.

 

About a year ago, I was looking through some of my mother's old photo albums. I found a lot of pictures of a trip my mother, myself and my stepfather took to Disneyland. I had absolutely NO recollection of this vacation until recently. I remembered taking a trip when i was four years old.. but these pictures, I learned were from my eighth birthday. It took me a while to put my finger on what made me feel so strange about that trip. First of all, that I didn't remember it.. a trip to Disneyland isn't something you just forget.. it's one of those places that should be memorable. Second of all, how familiar some of the pictures from the hotel room were...

 

I had a dream not long after; the same dream I described above. The memories hit me like a truck when I woke up. I talked to my mother about it who is now divorced from my stepfather. She told me something very chilling.. she told me that on the flight home, I described to her in perfect detail about my stepfather doing explicit things with me. She brushed it off and believed it to be a dream, and told me that it probably WAS just a dream.

 

I am now under the impression that this was the first time he abused me, based on what my mother told me.

 

Many other memories arose from this realization. Very painful memories of my childhood. I was quite aware that I was being molested as a child.. I was molested from the time I was 8 years old until I was at least 12. I was able to block most of the memories out. The remaining memories were ones that my stepfather told me not to tell my mother about, because we would get in trouble. I didn't say anything about it until I was 14, and have been struggling with my past ever since.. talking about it got me put in a group home for 8 months and my teenage life was very hard, as my mother was forbidden from talking to me by my stepfather. However, this also got me out of his hands, and I have been able to cope with my past easier without him in the way.

 

My point with this whole thing, is that YES, you should see a psychologist about this ASAP, because these sort of dreams are not healthy. If your sister is having similar epiphanies, I don't see how likely it is that it's a coincidence. If your mother is available to talk to about it; I would also recommend that. Speaking to your mother will be the absolute hardest part, but may be the most important thing you ever do in your life.

 

I wish you the best in this, and I hope that I was able to help you. If these dreams ARE in fact reflecting on supressed memories, you should seek help. These sorts of things can effect your everyday life and thought process. There is a very long road to recovery, and I hope that you are able to find peace in this matter.