Where do I begin?

[The Call Me JJ]

This might be sort of long. But I need some advice.

 

I'm pretty new to the board. I found this site in a google search. The search was "how to cure unrequited love." I don't know if this is the best section to post this in. But I need to find someone who can help me.

 

So, I guess I'll start by saying, I'm madly in love. But the sad thing is that I don't even know the person personally. I fell for him a long time ago when I was at a baseball game. And all this stuff started happening. But the annoying thing was that he was one of the players. I was ten. It was really confusing. I kept getting all this deja vu and stuff and I was RIGHT in front of the guy.

 

He was absolutly beautiful He had piercing green eyes and you could just tell he was an amazing soul. I went home that night and i became more in love with him then anyone else. I have a huge story behind me. It's kind of hard to explain. But for years and years I loved him and I found out so much more about him every day.

 

He's probably like, the most popular player out there right now. But no one loves him the way I do and I feel like I need someone to jump in and help me. But I'm scared about the whole situation. I get harassed by people. I get hate mail and everything. But at the end of the day, I'll just lay in bed and imagine him with his arms wrapped around me and him saying "It's okay." And you know, he's in his thirties. Don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not 18 yet. (my profile page says 23. that aint true) But I'm just so confused. I think about him constantly and I want to marry him. Now, I know it may sound pathetic. But I just need him in my life. When I think of him i just get this chill down my spine and he's just such a beautiful, amazing person. I'm just a little sad. Because every holiday season, I get really cold and I miss him like crazy. I've written him letters through a friend. He told me I seem like a beautiful amazing person. But I don't talk to this girl too often. I just need to talk to him and tell him what I've gone through. No one understands it. I'm like a rebel to everyone.

 

But I'm not a bad person. I just love him. And no one accepts it. He's supposedly dating this woman. The woman is a skank (sorry) and she's really full of it. Not to mention she's a gold digger. But I know he's not serious. Although everyone says he is serious to upset me. And I know I love this guy more then anyone else does. I'd risk my life for him. (not saying that I'm going to hurt myself. I'm saying that if he were in danger I would rather have me in danger)

 

I still care about myselfthough. I don't know. I'm just confused. I need advice. Is there any chance between us? I really am getting all these feelings and I'm just feeling all this deja vu and stuff. If you listen to the words of Beyonce's song, Deja vu, that's exactly the way I feel.

 

I don't know. Are any of you willing to help me? I need some one who understands. Thats all. I'm not depressed. Just a little sad sometimes but I love my life BECAUSE of this person. He isn't married. But he's like the damn prince of New York.

[cybersister]

sounds like some amazingly strong feelings going on there. Sorry but I do not believe that it is possible to really love someone you do not know personally in a romantic way.

You can idealise them, obsess about them.

It does sounds as if the overwhelming feeling is of benefit to you- your life is better for it. So I would say, hold that feeling- let it work for you.

But do not imagine that you will end up as a couple.

and you are young so though you will not believe it or want to believe it, but we do outgrow these infatuations.

[The Call Me JJ]

:confused:There's no way I'm gonna grow out of this.

 

And I kind of do believe you can love someone you don't know personally. I mean, I've read his book and everything. And hey, something CAN happen in the future. Who knows. Right?

[Geishawhelk]

Can't see anything, anywhere, in your profile that says you're either 18 OR 23....

So you could be 14......!

 

This is what I think you should do.

Write to him, his fan club, whatever, and try to meet with him.

Tell him exactly how you feel, and how you feel you're connected....

My guess is he'll be so astonished, stunned and possibly horrified, he'll run a mile.

 

This is a hopeless infatuation.

You are head over heels in love with the mental projection, image and idea of the guy, and you have no way of knowing what he is really like in real life.

 

You need to get out more, and put this gradually out of your mind. Because otherwise you will go, out of your mind.

To be so focussed and channelled on the ideology of a person you've never met, is a really serious issue, and it may well turn into something auto-destructive.

 

What concerns me, is that you are manifesting all the early characteristics of a stalker.

 

You have built up an image, together with a possibility of actually making it a reality one day. The combination of these two factors raises red flags and sets off alarm bells.

 

Truly it does.

 

I sincerely, honestly think you might need professional help.

 

You're going to think this is an unkind and heartless post.

Please believe me. From the position of one who has been stalked - I am earnest, caring and deadly serious.

[TheyCallMeJJ2]

None of that is the point. This has been going on for years and there is stuff that's happened to me. Geez, I feel like I have to keep repeating myself! It's crazy! It's not hopeless and it's not an obsession. I know who he is as a person. I've seen him in person and I can just sort of figure out the person that he is. I'm good like that with people. I'm not a stalker. I already said that I have a friend that gives him letters for me but it's still confusing.

 

I had to make a seccond account because my password wasn't working for the other one (just letting you know)

[ThisGuy85]

You're obsession (Yes you are obsessed, Whether you realize it or not!) with this guy is not healthy. You may not be Physically stalking the guy YET, but you're exhibiting stalker like thoughts and behavior. You say you've written him letters and he's responded in kind. That's probably because he thinks you're just one of his fans, And not someone with an obsession for him.

 

Look... everyone has had a celebrity that they have had a crush on, maybe even fantasized about. On the other hand, most people know the difference between fantasy and reality, They realize that there not ever actually going to "hook up" with [insert celebrity name] So they leave it at that.

 

The best thing you can do for yourself is turn off the TV, Put away any photos/memorabilia and find yourself someone real, And by real I mean someone actually obtainable. It will be much more rewarding for you, Because you'll see that the relationship isn't so "one sided".

[summer101]

I think I can understand where you are coming from in the sense that I once too, was infatuated with a professional baseball player who will go unnamed. This was years ago (I'm 24 now) but it went on for years. I was "obsessed" with a certain team, and especially a certain player. I made it to all their games when they visited my city, my parents would take trips with me to see games in this team's home city, we would drive to spring traning to see them play in the winter, and I even traveled to the nearby cities to see this certain team and player. I made signs, bought him his "favorite" gum that I had read he liked, waited outside the teams buses and the hotel lobby I knew they were staying at, wrote letters, had a shrine in my room, etc. (Mind you, I had my friend always with me who was equally enthused).

 

I had connections with this person as well. I had a family member (2nd cousin or something like that) whose husband was friends with this person. I thought about him night and day, carried his picture with me, watched literally EVERY game on tv for multiple seasons just to catch a glimpse of him.

 

Anyway, my point is that I too had a similar obsession.....you WILL get over it. Although it seems now that it's destined for you two to be together, you love him, etc., it is an infatuation. You do not know this person, other than the sentence long personal description they may have on the website, or what his favorite pizza is.

 

Have you ever had a boyfriend? My guess is that your crush will seriously fade when a real relationship happens in your life. Until then, keep your crush, but realize that your thoughts and behavior may be seriously affecting you. Pursue real relationships.

 

Ironically, my first choice doctoral program I now attend is in this city I had always yearned to live in, (and the player still plays on the team)! However, I''ll say that the spark is no longer there...I've gone to a few games and although I still have memories of all the STUPID things I did, I no longer feel that connection to this person. In ten years you will remember this and laugh.

[TheyCallMeJJ2]

You people are such @sses. None of you get it!

 

1) I do not call this unhealthy. Just because you're all "experts" on love doesn't mean you're right. I've talked to many people and they've told me it was a healthy thing and stuff. And I'm completely fine.

 

I have never liked another guy in my life. I've liked this guy since I was ten. That was YEARS ago and I still love him more & more every day. It's not an obsession because I've gone through something as well and I'm not going to mention it. I might as well just delete this thread since NO ONE GETS IT. There's more to the story that you DON'T know.

[Eilonwy]

Perhaps you are so obsessed because you've gone through some difficult things. Your love for this person might have helped you, and that might have been good for you... but really, it does in no way sound like something healthy or positive now.

[TheyCallMeJJ2]

Enough with this "obsession" talk. I guess no one knows what the word 'love' means. Yes. You're right. I'm so IN LOVE because of what happened to me and this guy's helped me through life. I really need to be with him. That's al. Can't anyone understand?

[Mollyeb_7]

I think I get where you're coming from. When I was 14 I was in love with this guy who was like ten years older than me. He wasn't famous or anything but there was no way anything could happen. It was a completely hopeless relationship and my friends just thought I was being stupid but I didn't listen to them. I thought I was meant to be with him and that the age thing didn't matter. Looking back now I can see that I was kind of obsessed with him. I'm not saying you're obsessed or anything though. It took me two or three years to get over him and to this day I still think about him sometimes. It might take awhile and you might not want to, but you'll get over him.

[Karina_Nicole]

You people are such @sses. None of you get it!

 

1) I do not call this unhealthy. Just because you're all "experts" on love doesn't mean you're right. I've talked to many people and they've told me it was a healthy thing and stuff. And I'm completely fine.

 

I have never liked another guy in my life. I've liked this guy since I was ten. That was YEARS ago and I still love him more & more every day. It's not an obsession because I've gone through something as well and I'm not going to mention it. I might as well just delete this thread since NO ONE GETS IT. There's more to the story that you DON'T know.

 

Don't be rude! You asked for help and opinions, so don't get mad when people speak their mind.

[Lucky_One]

Do your parents know about this obsession that you have with this guy? I think it would be an excellent idea for you to talk to a therapist about these feelings, personally. Good luck.