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How can I stop pushing men away by coming on too strong?


needhelp78

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[color=green][/color]My boyfriend and I met online in July. We went out on our first date 8/16 and our second 8/29. I've called him too much and ended up sending him a nasty e-mail on 8/31. He broke up with me tonight, but said he'd think about giving me a second chance if I can change for the both of us. I need to learn how to not come on so strong and just let things flow. How do I do that? I want him back really bad!! Please help!

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my brother's girlfriend comes on really strong, so don't let yourself feel bad... just ease up on the phone calls realize that you don't need to be talking to him 24-7... as you hang-up, say to him, "call me later." in your sweet voice. that way you don't need to worry about calling him back, he'll call you next. really, you only need to call him about twice a day... once to see what he's doing, and twice before bed. and he should really be calling you one of the two times.

 

as far as the nasty e-mail? what the heck did you write?

 

ok laters...

- Yeti

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The e-mail I wrote asked him what his idea of a boyfriend was. That mine was someone who called you back when he says he's gonna and doesn't break dates and if he has to break a date, he should at least call. I wasn't thinking when I wrote it. Well, I was, but not in the right way. I was thinking of past relationships and how they were. I've appologized to him a million times, but he's still skeptical. I miss him so much. :(

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Am I reading this right? You've been on two dates with this guy? Are you sure he was your boyfriend?

 

That mine was someone who called you back when he says he's gonna and doesn't break dates and if he has to break a date, he should at least call.

 

Hmmm...so he's not calling you back and is breaking dates without telling you? Hmmm...

 

Anyway...you must stop the calling. IMO at this stage you don't even need to talk to him every day. It comes across as desperate and clingy. The best way to stop this is to get a life. Enroll in some classes or make a lot of plans with your friends. If you are out and about, you won't be tempted to call him. And even if you are tempted, think long and hard before you pick up the phone. Put a sticky note on the phone to remind you. It's willpower like anything else. Eventually when you've scared enough guys off with this behavior you will learn.

 

What is missing from your life that you feel the need to call him all the time? I understand how exciting it is to meet someone new who you really like, but you haven't even been dating this guy a month. He's still basically a stranger. What did you occupy your time with a month ago before all this started? Start doing those things again.

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HE called himself my boyfriend. I have been going out more and trying to keep my mind off of him. I think that what's missing in my life is just the idea of a boyfriend. I don't get much attention from men, so when I do, I freak. I'm so happy that someone finally noticed me and likes me that I get stupid. I am trying not to be like this though. That's why I'm here.

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