So perfect, it scared me and I broke up with him. I feel like I've lost myself!

[Aching heart]

Okay, I was with a great guy, and things were great, and he was everything that I had been looking for. So perfect.......it scared me. I told him we needed to stop, and cried while I did this, and that was it. He wanted a reason, so I lied. I told him that I needed to be sure I was over my ex. (The creep I had dated b$ him for 6 years, who cheated, lied, etc...) Then, we talked, and I told him how stupid my decision was and we ended up getting back together. Only this time, it wasn't the same, and he ended it after about a week.

I was tolkd it was because he would be switching jobs, we work different shifts, he was in the middle of moving, and it just wouldn't work. I guess I deserved his lame excuses after what I gave him. This all happened about a month and a half ago. I just seen him for the first time the other night. I was drunk and confessed that I think about him all the time, and that I have such strong feelings for him even still, and that he should have never given me a second chance, and I couldn't look at him. I walked away from him and he said I wasn't the only on to feel some of these things. I could call him during the week if I wanted to talk. But he needs to stay single. He says that he doesn't want a relationship and that he may be leaving in a year to go to Afganistan, and that I hurt him.

What should I say to him. They say when you find the one, you just know. I feel soooo much that he is and it is making it soooooo hard for me to concentrate on other aspects of my life. I am getting depressed over all of this, and for the last month and a half, I have been drinking heavily. Like 4-5 nights a week. I love him, and never told him, and need him. I just ache when I think of his arms around me, the way that it felt, so comfortable. I guess I just want to know what to say to him, or how to get out of this sick mood, or how to just get over it. This feels so bad, and hard!

[emokid]

Hey girl, First you gotta stop drinking so much. That ain't going to solve anything.

Sure you'll possibly feeling good while you're doing it, but it's the wrong thing to do. Pick yourself up and take the time to better yourself, Not medicate yourself with booze. Maybe this is a sign, you guys aren't supposed to be together right now. Take some time away from it....do some other things. Only time can tell what will be. You can't expect to magically fix things and be together. If it's meant to be, it's going to take a lot of hard work. But take some time away from everything, there has to be some other reason you broke up with him in the first place.