what should i do?

[Hassan]

I am lost. I have been going out with my girlfreind for like 16 months and we broke up. then she just found another man the next day we broke up. And i want her back soooo bad so what should i do. Go and try to win her back. But how would i do that (sing songs, poems). I cry everynight thinking of what we went through. WHAT SHOULD I DO?????????/

 

plz help a lost soul

[Tony T]

First, she probably didn't find him the next day. A great many times, it is done because the person initiating the break-up has another interest already. She has probably known this new person for some time.

 

You should do absolutely nothing. There is nothing more unattractive to a woman than a lovesick pup. The more gracefully you allow her to move on, the greater the chances she could one day come back...if that is in the cards.

 

A man who goes after a lady once she has given the word she is no longer interested becomes an annoyance, an aggravation and ultimately a heavy burden she will avoid at all costs. There are times when the women is forced to obtain a court order restricting or barring all contact.

 

To be a man who is desireable by any woman, you must handle yourself as a man. Take some time to get through your depression and hurt, and move on. This is just how it works...I did not make these rules myself.

 

I simply can never understand why so many men feel the woman they are going out with is totally obligated to be with them until they either get tired of them or there is a mutual agreement of marriage. EVEN MORE, I CANNOT UNDERSTAND WHY ANY MAN WOULD WANT TO BE WITH A WOMAN WHO HAS CLEARLY DEMONSTRATED BY WORD AND ACTION THAT SHE NO LONGER WANTS TO BE IN THE RELATIONSHIP.

 

The degree that you can stay away from her, be civil, NOT send her flowers to nauseate her, NOT send her letters, messages or poems that will aggravate her, NOT have any contact with her at all is the degree of possibility you will one day hear from her again.

 

You don't WIN somebody back. A woman is a human being, NOT a prize. She has feelings and she has told you what those feelings are. Put yourself in her place. I'm sure right now she cares about your feelings and doesn't want to see you hurt...but she also doesn't want to be with you right now. If you make her feel any worse, she will get really angry and then she will no longer care about your feelings. At that point she will have the full assurance she did the right thing by leaving you.

 

Right now, there may be some doubts in her mind. Let her keep doubting and STAY AWAY FROM HER!!!