I'm Superficial

[lovestruck818]

I admit it. And I don't feel good about it.

 

I'm not saying I'm going after pretty boys. I don't and never really have. But I do consistently find myself interested in guys that are above average looking.

 

I'm not saying falling for an average guy would guarantee me happiness. But I just find it frustrating that when my friends find boyfriends, I always feel I would not be attracted to those boyfriends in their place. It makes me angry at myself that I care about something so petty.

 

Are some of us just more "wired" to care about looks than others?

 

I mean, I HAVE liked guys that were far from hot. It's just that they would still be cute, or at least attractive to other women.

 

I wonder if I'll ever get over this. I wonder if I need to get over this or maybe I'm just feeling what I'm meant to feel.

 

I'm the same way. I don't want anyone tall, ugly, fat, acne, overly hairy, bearded...lol, I could go on

[Dexter Morgan]

Did you even read my post? I specifically said I never went for pretty boys, just cute ones (YES there is a difference, pretty boy encompasses a whole mentality, cute is just a physical description). And I never go for like model attractive guys so just relax.

 

You even said if I "settled", I'd cheat (I'm not a cheater, btw). So what exactly is your point?

 

My point? Keep going for the "cute" ones because a guy doesn't deserve to be settled for.

[2sure]

If you define superficial as only dating men you are attracted to, then were all superficial. And that ok to me. Good looking men and women are a dime a dozen especially when you consider that beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. Unless there is chemistry there is no real physical attraction.

 

A traditionally good looking guy who is dumb as a rock becomes silly looking. Unattractive even.

 

A marginally good looking guy who is charming and whitty becomes more attractive. This is called charisma. It makes people more attractive.

 

As far as superficial, lets go a step further.

 

If I'm honest I have to say that I am most physically attracted to a man who is good looking, charismatic, successful financially, and funny.

 

That doesnt make me shallow, its just what I most enjoy.

[You'reasian]

That sort of makes sense. So... my extreme horniness would be another defect, then?

 

I'm sure some would be able to overlook that

[Isolde]

I'm the same way. I don't want anyone tall, ugly, fat, acne, overly hairy, bearded...lol, I could go on

 

Wow you're pickier than me... I figure

tall= great

acne = it usually goes away at some point

hairy = they can wax their chest/back if its THAT bad

bearded = shave, some guys even look ok with a beard

[Isolde]

 

A traditionally good looking guy who is dumb as a rock becomes silly looking. Unattractive even.

 

A marginally good looking guy who is charming and whitty becomes more attractive. This is called charisma. It makes people more attractive.

 

 

This is well said. Wanting a "marginal" amount of good looks is very normal, isn't it? What that would be is different for everyone, of course. For example, I'd rather date someone short with a full head of hair than tall and bald; some women might be the other way around.

 

Of course I realize that love is a strange thing and it sometimes makes your preferences go out the window.

[pandagirl]

Isolde, I worry that my taste in men, in terms of attractiveness, is too high. I can't help that I like good looking guys. And, honestly, I don't think I am anything that great on the beauty scale, so is this fair of me? Maybe I'd wouldn't be single all the time if I could settle for less.

 

That being said, every guy I've ever dated has looked different, though all very above-average looking. Some have fair features, some have dark, some are athletically built, some are skinny. In the end though, it really is their charisma, intelligence and sense of humor that makes them much more attractive. I dated a guy once who I didn't think was all that cute, even though my friends were like "hello!? he's HOT!" It wasn't until I got to know him better that I ended up thinking he was the sexiest thing alive.

 

Youre not superficial unless your sole requirement of dating is looks. Everyone has preferences, and hey -- if hot guys like you, then who are you to blame!?

[Isolde]

Isolde, I worry that my taste in men, in terms of attractiveness, is too high. I can't help that I like good looking guys. And, honestly, I don't think I am anything that great on the beauty scale, so is this fair of me? Maybe I'd wouldn't be single all the time if I could settle for less.

 

That being said, every guy I've ever dated has looked different, though all very above-average looking. Some have fair features, some have dark, some are athletically built, some are skinny. In the end though, it really is their charisma, intelligence and sense of humor that makes them much more attractive. I dated a guy once who I didn't think was all that cute, even though my friends were like "hello!? he's HOT!" It wasn't until I got to know him better that I ended up thinking he was the sexiest thing alive.

 

Youre not superficial unless your sole requirement of dating is looks. Everyone has preferences, and hey -- if hot guys like you, then who are you to blame!?

 

LOL, I'm not really sure "hot guys like me," I don't really see much of a correlation in who approaches me, when I get interest (which isnt often) it's never the same "type" as before. I've been approached by all heights, races, and guys from all different jobs and interests.

[Isolde]

I try my best not to think of dating in terms of leagues, either on my end or the guy's. It's a juvenile way of categorizing people and I don't like it.

[monkey00]

I don't really blame you for being the way you are, in some ways I'm a lot like that. I had female friends in middle school - HS. But I didn't start dating and stuff until I got to college. A lot of times I'm oblivious to this kind of stuff, even now currently when it comes to women.

 

But like you or anyone else here, we all have standards and preferences for whom we date. Some of my friends have gfs, I'm not attracted to them..but neither do I think I could easily fall into a relationship like they could.