9Lives Posted December 3, 2008 Share Posted December 3, 2008 Sounds like my wife... 16 years together and one day up and decides she no longer loves me, is in love with me and cant think of spending the rest of her life with me... never saw it coming... tore me up... tore up my family all for the sake of wanting to find someone she had more in common with.... sad part is I havent gotten over her yet.. its been only 5 weeks... I hope it starts to get easier.... If I was you, I would get counseling. There are so many emotions you are going to deal with. 2ndly....if you can stay together that long please dont consider this to be a failure on your part. It is hard to stay together for a year now. YOU did a awesome job!!!! standing ovation to you. Dont let it get you down. Everything is going to be fine. She may not want to spend the rest of her life with you but she gave you alot of years and that was good. Even though everyday was not the best all the time , I still think it is honorable. Keep your head up Link to post Share on other sites
orangehose Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 I don't know, for some reason I just have trouble getting to the point that many of you seem to have reached. It's a conscious effort to remind myself that no, really, I dodged a bullet. I keep thinking that he's now been with the office hooch for seven (presumably) happy months and he likely thinks about me, oh, NEVER. Meanwhile, my life over the last 7 months has been utterly consumed with getting over him... and he's still in my thoughts at some point every day. Boo. Help! Hey SSG, you're not alone. In the first few months after being dumped, I would console myself with the idea that if my ex was a complete jerk to me, then of COURSE he wasn't worthy of my love, that the connection we had isn't hard to replace, and that there would be plenty of equally compatible guys out there. I used to beat myself up for still feeling something for a guy who was a jerk. Because OF COURSE you shouldn't love a jerk. Sadly, 7-8 months of socializing and meeting guys seem to have confirmed the opposite - that the kind of connection we had ISN'T easily replaced (at least for me - his experience obviously differs). At the same time, I've also come to a greater appreciation of how completely NUTS my ex is, and how disastrous a longer-term relationship with him would have been. But you know, all of these mutually contradictory feelings can coexist. Someone can be a complete jerk, and at the same time, you can have this rare, meaningful connection with them, and love them with your whole heart. Love is irrational. So yeah, I've given up on resolving these discordant conclusions. I just try to accept them. And ironically, accepting the irrationality of my feelings has helped lessen them. Link to post Share on other sites
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