Sick of listening to women discuss pregnancy/children/weddings

[NotKelly]

It's holiday season, and that means - time for all sorts of office parties.

 

I have been to 3 office parties in the past week. And at each one of them, I have had to sit and listen to all the other women blathering about (a) their pregnancies and childbirth experiences, (b) their children and © the next upcoming wedding in their life (friend's wedding, sibling's wedding, college roommate's wedding, child's wedding, etc)

 

I mean, this is ALL they discuss. Nothing about world events, the economy, the movies, TV shows, local events, or any activity not having to do with CHILDREN and WEDDINGS. And they can literally fill hours with this.

 

I'm often the only non-married, non-childbearing woman in the gathering, so basically I'm just sitting there trying to look even remotely interested. I used to feel very awkward having to sit there and listen, but I got over that, except when it just goes ON and ON and ON. Lady, I really don't want to hear about how many drugs you needed or what contortions the delivery nurse made you assume or how spread-eagled you had to be or how dripping and ratlike your child looked when he/she slid out. (yes, just had to listen to one woman's lengthy description of this today) UGH.

 

I guess this is the "normal" woman's version of talking about the weather. You know, God forbid you show any interest in any particular subject, because heaven knows you might have an opinion or belief that clashes with the rest of The Group and you'll be ostracized. Don't actually show an interest in the world beyond children/childbirth/weddings because you might seem UPPITY and then the other girls will start whispering about you!

 

Pretty amazing that 150 years after the women's rights movement, that's all women still want to do is talk about giving birth (or, as I suspect, being too uncomfortable to talk about anything that doesn't have to do with procreation, for fear of standing out too much).

[D-Jam]

NotKelly, you will have to unfortunately realize that as we age, there become two types of people you'll normally have around:

 

 

1. Those who never married, are divorced, or they did marry...but they have interesting and balanced lives. They travel, read the news, and have more to themselves than just their babies, houses, and life in a RL.
   
2. Those who 100% immerse themselves into their RLs. They want a SO badly, and when they find one they cease to even remember they had a life as being single. They totally hand their lives over to the RL. Nothing ever happens with them alone, but instead as a couple...and when they have kids, everything becomes about the kids...but yet it's nothing interesting. Nothing more than diaper talk.
   

I can't blame parents for not having much of a life. I look at my brother and realize when you have kids, your life becomes about them. However, as a single, unmarried, and childless male, I do realize how hard it can be to talk about much of anything when you're in a room full of couples yacking about their kids and home improvements.

 

I'll mention some art I saw, someplace I traveled, or some interesting place I went to...and get a lot of "um...that's very interesting" because I failed to realize these people just don't have lives anymore outside of their house and kids.

 

Nothing wrong with that...but I will say for those like NotKelly and myself, you're better off being selective on where you choose to spend the holidays. What parties you choose to attend. Do you want to be in a room full of couples and kids? Or a room full of people who decided they want more in their lives and thus can carry a conversation about things you're interested in?

 

If you're single...try to stay away from the "couples-centric" events and affairs. Lord knows I think the women have it on the nose with that...as I'd end up in events where it's all couples and a handful of single males. All the single women who were invited just didn't show.

[You'reasian]

Following up with the last response, you should find your own social life outside of work. Try to understand your colleagues and learn from what they have to say about marriage, children but realize at the end of the day - you keep your job at the office and come home to your house and your interests.

 

Some folks are lucky enough to choose a trade that becomes their lifestyle, say theoretical physicists for example. These guys are always questioning the existence and nature of our universe, even if they aren't in their labs doing computations and writing papers - they all think alike in some ways.

 

or paramedics, who compete in multisport events, love the rush of different activities and are keenly interested in health.

 

Perhaps you haven't found your niche despite being in a nice job?

[libertyA]

OMG, I find this post completely amusing! Recently, at my belly dance Hafla, I was having a conversation with another woman about birth. . I don't remember exactly what I was talking about, but one of the other girls (18 y/o) just walked away! hehe, now I know what she was thinking!

 

Seriously, once one has kids to take care of, it becomes much harder to focus on things other than the day-to-day tasks. Childbirth and kids become our life! Fortunately, I've remained an information junkie and have maintained many other interests besides weddings and birth. So much that, sometimes when I start talking about government or the impending economic collapse, *I* get the weird looks!

[Disillusioned]

So... if you're sick of hanging around with other women who talk about kids & weddings, what's keeping you from hanging around with a decent group of men who talk about things that interest you? That's the whole point of looking for a partner, right?

[anne1707]

NotKelly

 

I understand exactly. Though its not about being married with kids (I am married, no kids), its just about realising that you are still an individual.

 

On any works event, I end up sitting with the men. The women are mostly threatened by me because I have an opinion, am intelligent and am not prepared to spend my time talking about their husband, how cute their kid is, what is happening in the latest soap opera/reality television show, etc.

 

The men are far less judgmental and accept me as an equal (even if I know ****** all about football).

[NotKelly]

Right, I'll just walk out and plop myself down with a bunch of men. And I'll be accepted as one of their group. Right.

 

And I'm tired of hanging around men. Tired of being the only woman in the group and tired of not fitting in. They still look at you funny if you try to enter their conversation.

 

I'm also not interested in dating right now.

 

Anyhow, my original post was about being forced to be in these situations - at work and so on. It's kind of hard to get out of going to office functions.

 

And it's sad to hear that women are uncomfortable about talking about anything BUT the least common denominator. So much for Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton. All their work was pretty pointless if 150 years later, women still feel they have to hide their intelligence and curiosity under a barrel in order to fit in with their "peers." What is sad is that I KNOW these women I work with are smarter than this and have other interests. But when they all get together with other women, they turn into robots talking about pregnancy. It is really weird.

[Storyrider]

Don't worry. It will stop as their children get older.

 

Then you will hear about their soccer uniforms, the grades they're getting in school and when they're next going to Disney World, Aspen, or the Virgin Islands.

[CandyGirlXO]

I agree 100%! I work in an office and I have to hear about this ALL the time. Mostly just makes me feel left out because I am single, with no children.

[norajane]

OMG, I totally know exactly what you're talking about! That's happened to me at work functions, too. Even when those women worked WITH me and they were all well-educated, well-traveled, well-rounded women. Conversation still focused on pregnancies and kids.

 

However, when I see the conversation is going nowhere but pregnancies and kids, I have walked away and joined the guys. I work with them, so I've had no issues in them not accepting me in the group or thinking it's weird. But, as you said, I don't necessarily want to avoid the women and would like to talk to them. But not the same domestic conversations ad nauseum.

[RecordProducer]

I mean, this is ALL they discuss. Nothing about world events, the economy, the movies, TV shows, local events, or any activity not having to do with CHILDREN and WEDDINGS. And they can literally fill hours with this.

And if they don't talk about those things, they'll talk about shopping or gossip. It's not for the reasons you mentioned - it's because they are dumb and empty. They are not interested in anything because their shallow brains can only absorb only so much. They will tell you with such enthusiasm about that spray they bought that cleans stains so well and they have a remarkable story about it. They talk about superficial events from their lives (like when we were 11 years old) and if you mention anything beyond their visible environment, they give you a strange look, like you're playing a smartass or something. I am so sick of that diarrhea that I don't even make new friends anymore. I mean, what's the point?

[orangehose]

My girlfriends are exactly like this. Brilliant, educated women, yet all they can discuss when they get together is their boyfriends or their dating life. I enjoy gossip to an extent, but it's still kind of sad... I mean, what if all that intellectual energy were expended on something else?

 

Okay, I have to get off LS

[orangehose]

NotKelly, you will have to unfortunately realize that as we age, there become two types of people you'll normally have around:

 

 

1. Those who never married, are divorced, or they did marry...but they have interesting and balanced lives. They travel, read the news, and have more to themselves than just their babies, houses, and life in a RL.
   
2. Those who 100% immerse themselves into their RLs. They want a SO badly, and when they find one they cease to even remember they had a life as being single. They totally hand their lives over to the RL. Nothing ever happens with them alone, but instead as a couple...and when they have kids, everything becomes about the kids...but yet it's nothing interesting. Nothing more than diaper talk.
   

 

Great post. Things do seem to stratify along those lines...

[norajane]

Nothing more than diaper talk.

And it's such painfully detailed diaper talk. Like it's supposed to be fascinating to everyone what color their precious puked up or forced out yesterday.