Social circles and getting older

[nowhereman82]

So the city I live in, I am a transplant to. Been here a couple of years but I found it hard to get a social circle going or a core of friends that are like me.

 

Work is a dead end to meet people since most people are older than me and the people that are my age are married/have kids.

 

So here I am, 26, with a couple of good friends, but their lives make it hard for them to do anything because of family stuff.

 

I don't attend church, volunteering isn't my cup of tea.....so as you get older, how the heck do you create/expand your circle of friends.

 

The end result I am looking for is dating people, either met through friends, group events, going out with other single guy friends, etc. Going to a bar or coffee shop solo to hit on woman doesn't sound appealing haha.

[fishtaco]

You're on the right track. Social circle is very important.

 

Hitting up on chicks at gyms, supermarkets, coffee shops...etc is the hardcore way of doing it. You either have to be lucky, or have mad skillz. Bars and clubs, especially the "right ones", are places for people with intentions of hooking up, so it could be easier. But it helps to at least have a buddy with you.

 

But the best way to build that circle is through other activities. Join a sports team. Near where I live there I personally know of places to go to play pick-up basketball, ice hockey, and roller hockey. Through that you can get recruited to a team, or just notify the facility that you want to join a team, pay the fees, and they'll put you on one (usually the crappiest team though, but it's a start). If you don't play sports, take classes for it. I used to be really into hockey so I know places where you can take ice and roller hockey clinics. I'd imagine they would have that for any sport.

 

Also I bet there's a hiking group that meets regularly some place near you. You can join community classes. Dog training, fencing, whatever your city offers. You can even go to the local community college and take some classes.

 

Although the best activity to meet women is dancing. Yup, take dance lessons.

 

You should try a bunch of different stuff, but stick to the ones that interests you. Even though dancing is an excellent way to meet women, if you're just not into it, you're not going to enjoy it, and it'll show, and it'll backfire.

 

Also this is not magic. Not like you join a roller hockey team, play for 10 weeks, and all of a sudden you get invited to a BBQ, meet your teammate's sister's hot friend, and score. It takes time. Hence you want to be doing something you enjoy anyway.

[nowhereman82]

Basically all that i have concluded and gone over.

 

Guess the at the heart of it I can't think of any group activities that interest me. At heart I am an introvert but I don't lack social skills or nothing like a lot of introverts do and I'm not too shy.

 

*shrug* Thought about the dancing thing but realized what you said....if I don't like it I won't do well.

[betterthandead]

Wait till you start getting into your 50s.