Konfuzion Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 I think the general consensus I see on the forums here is the emotional cheating is worse than physically cheating, that statement is really of no importance to this post but... My question is this why do people feel that emotional cheating is so bad? Please explain the best possible. The reason for my question is my ex and I have been trying to work out our issues and have a relationship again and she swears up and down that she did nothing wrong in our relationship "I never cheated on you". But I know that five days after our break up she slept with a man she had known for 7 months, their had to have been something going on their emotionally for that to happen. And also she admitted to developing emotional feelings for another man during the course of our relationship, but that she put an end to it. Anyway I am having trouble putting into words how this has made me feel so I was hoping that with your input I could explain myself. I should add I did my share of things wrong in our relationship and I know that, I guess I just don't want people to start bashing her like she is all bad... I know I pushed her away and probably drove her to do what she did, which doesn't excuse it but that's why I want to explain it to her so she can appoligies if she wants too. Thanks in advance for any imput on this Link to post Share on other sites
Gremio Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 There is no excuse for her sleeping with someone five days after you broke up. The EXACT same thing happened to me. I am not exaggerating one bit. Five days after a three year relationship, my ex slept with someone. A week later she came crawling back, saying she made the biggest mistake of her life. It was my hardest decision of my life at the time but also the easiest. Sometimes a big "**** you" just feels great. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted December 4, 2008 Share Posted December 4, 2008 My question is this why do people feel that emotional cheating is so bad? Probably because it re-prioritizes the primary emotional bonding in the relationship. For some people, generally women, that kind of betrayal is worse than a ONS or PA. The upside is you can't get or give a STD from an emotional attachment Link to post Share on other sites
taylor Posted December 5, 2008 Share Posted December 5, 2008 I think the general consensus I see on the forums here is the emotional cheating is worse than physically cheating, that statement is really of no importance to this post but... My question is this why do people feel that emotional cheating is so bad? Please explain the best possible. Emotional cheating damages the relationship, sometimes beyond repair. When a person cheat emotionally, they let themselves develop feelings for another person who is not their SO and they put alot of time, energy, and attention into nurturing similar feelings from their new love interest. All of their thoughts and feelings are focused on the new person and away from their SO. Over time, the person who is cheating emotionally replaces the SO with the new person in their heart. The new person becomes more valued...more important...more needed...than the SO. The person who is cheating emotionally falls out of love with their SO and falls in love with the new love interest. And once that happens, it's hard to reverse. An EA technically is considered non-sexual because nothing has happened physically. BUT don't let this fool you. There is ALWAYS a sexual component to an EA. Two people involved in an EA do have a sexual attraction to each other...one that hasn't been acted on...yet. An EA is a PA that just hasn't happened YET. The reason for my question is my ex and I have been trying to work out our issues and have a relationship again and she swears up and down that she did nothing wrong in our relationship "I never cheated on you". But I know that five days after our break up she slept with a man she had known for 7 months, their had to have been something going on their emotionally for that to happen. And also she admitted to developing emotional feelings for another man during the course of our relationship, but that she put an end to it. Anyway I am having trouble putting into words how this has made me feel so I was hoping that with your input I could explain myself. Your ex cheated on you emotionally and then crossed the line into a physical relationship with someone she developed feelings for over a 7 month period. She is denying she did anything wrong because she did not allow the EA to turn physical until after you broke up. She had a prior EA but ended it before she crossed the line into a PA with that man. How should you feel about this? Betrayed, angry, sad..and a myriad of other emotions. Check out the infidelity forum. You will find many betrayed there who have no difficulty putting their emotions into words and who will reassure you that ALL of the emotions you are feeling are normal and justified. I should add I did my share of things wrong in our relationship and I know that, I guess I just don't want people to start bashing her like she is all bad... I know I pushed her away and probably drove her to do what she did, which doesn't excuse it but that's why I want to explain it to her so she can appoligies if she wants too. Again, please check out the infidelity forum. Yes, some there will bash your ex, but others who have been betrayed will take the time to give you thoughtful answers. They will help you see that your ex's cheating was not your fault. You did not drive her to it. She chose to solve the problems in your relationship by running away from them and running into the arms of another person. It's possible you pushed her away BUT she also pushed you away. This distancing in a relationship can weaken a relationship to a point where affairs are more likely to happen. Does your ex want to re-establish a relationship with you? Do you really want to try again with her after she has had two affairs? Link to post Share on other sites
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