I feel nothing for my ex anymore

[EmperorR]

It's weird but these past few days, I've felt nothing. No anger, no sadness, no love. I don't miss her, all I miss it seems is like some memories, just having someone there to talk to and spend time with. I hope I don't jinx myself, but I feel good no I feel Great.

[lofi_tokyo]

Grats Emp!

Both of us dumped on Sept 4th, and by Dec 4th, were both free!

[Crazy.S]

man you guys are quick, congrats!

[EmperorR]

Grats Emp!

Both of us dumped on Sept 4th, and by Dec 4th, were both free!

 

Yup, it was a journey but we did it.

 

man you guys are quick, congrats!

 

I wouldn't say it was quick, took me like 70 days of NC, many sleepless nights, many tears, many thoughts of anger, hatred revenge. I guess it's harder for folks who haven't been cheated on. My ex cheated on me, dumped me found a new guy a week after all of that, and I was still clinging to hope she would come back to me for months . Now I'm past that, NC took the Love scabs of my eyes and showed me the relationship I was in, sacrificing everything her nothing, basically I was living in bondage, couldn't talk to associate, go out with people I wanted.

 

My ex cheated on me, was not remorseful and blamed me, and I said nothing, except told her I forgave her and I'll change, yes I was the victim and was talking about I'll change when I did noting wrong, that's how pathetic I was at one point. I never thought I would feel this good again but I do, I hope I don't jinx myself knocks on wood

[alwayssme]

congrats!!

 

Me? Well after a long talk with my best friend (gotta love her for always opening my eyes) I KNOW that my relationship with my ex is over and yes it hurts like hell...i still have moments where i wish i could undo everything and miss him like crazy...but right now if there was someone else i liked, was attracted to and could connect with on a deep level..i would definetely give them a chance. I still love my ex but as my friend says "when all paths are closed, you have to just choose a different path. When he doesnt want you, you just have to let him go. as long as it takes and as much as u cry, dont call him and realize that the relationship is over. its like he died, u can cry cuz u miss him but keep in mind that hes never coming back." When I think of how cold he acted I get so angry, and then when i think of all the drama that came afterwards 9we know a lot of the same people)..We left things off on good terms but i honestly have no idea what hes feeling right now......in this life....you have to let go when you're hurting too much, when there is no other choice, when loving them is not enough....maybe im just feeling "strong" after my talk with my best friend.......who knows!!! im glad for this forum, at least i know im not the only one going throught his

[Crazy.S]

I forgave her and I'll change, yes I was the victim and was talking about I'll change when I did noting wrong, that's how pathetic I was at one point. I never thought I would feel this good again but I do, I hope I don't jinx myself knocks on wood

 

Hey man I did the same thing. And I have no regrets about it. Maybe it's is different for you since she cheated on you. But I also felt cheated because it was so unfair. I did what I had to do, because I did not want to regret not doing anything one day. Yes it was embarrassing and pathetic, but who cares. I didn't think I would ever feel this good too, but I do. So congrats to us and others for coming this far.

[ChocoFine]

Same for me..

 

One year later though.. lots of pain and anger.. but finally got to it

[SarahT111]

Thats fantastic guys!

OP I have been following all your posts and im SOO happy for you that you have gotten to this point!!

 

"I hope I don't jinx myself knocks on wood"

Smart move!! I remember a while back I was writting a heartfelt post about how I had gotten over my cheating first love and was now with a fantastic man and life couldnt be better bla bla bla, only to jinx myself and get dumped virtually the next day!! lol

 

Anyway fantastic news that you are doing so well!

Keep the good news comming!

[FF84]

Emp, how do you feel? Suddenly you're free but it feels like something is missing. Once the pain has gone it leaves a gap.

 

It's like if you cut yourself, the wound turns to a scab which you get used to seeing and you keep touching it to see if it hurts. Then it heals and your skin returns to normal with no signs of what was there and you almost miss it and wonder what happened to it.

 

My emotions have faded now too and I feel a little lost without them. Maybe we're addicted to self pity which doesn't help us move on.

[Surfer Dude]

It's weird but these past few days, I've felt nothing. No anger, no sadness, no love. I don't miss her, all I miss it seems is like some memories, just having someone there to talk to and spend time with. I hope I don't jinx myself, but I feel good no I feel Great.

 

It's good to hear that bro! I'm really glad you're done with this crap.

 

I've also been feeling great, I couldn't care less what my ex does, who she's with or anything like that. I still sometimes wish things had been different, but nobody can change the past. Acceptance is the final stage of coping, when we realize it's all over and we feel nothing anymore, then we know it's over.

 

Took me 3 months and 15 days NC. There might be some bad days, but generally, I should be fine, I don't see any setbacks coming to me.

[ninjaturtles]

Yup, it was a journey but we did it.

 

 

 

I wouldn't say it was quick, took me like 70 days of NC, many sleepless nights, many tears, many thoughts of anger, hatred revenge. I guess it's harder for folks who haven't been cheated on. My ex cheated on me, dumped me found a new guy a week after all of that, and I was still clinging to hope she would come back to me for months . Now I'm past that, NC took the Love scabs of my eyes and showed me the relationship I was in, sacrificing everything her nothing, basically I was living in bondage, couldn't talk to associate, go out with people I wanted.

 

My ex cheated on me, was not remorseful and blamed me, and I said nothing, except told her I forgave her and I'll change, yes I was the victim and was talking about I'll change when I did noting wrong, that's how pathetic I was at one point. I never thought I would feel this good again but I do, I hope I don't jinx myself knocks on wood

 

 

Congrats Emperor. The KEY is NC and determination. I have started counting my days of NC...Today is the first (after a brief relapse). I truly look foward to being able to count 70 days of NC.

 

You have done so well. You and Tokyo. You two have encouraged me to stick to NC.

 

Ensure you dont get back in touch with her. Trust me. Remember I had been in NC for a while and felt like I was truly over him. However, after getting back in touch with him, my life went crumbling down again. However, I am determined to never look back.

 

I truly feel like I want to move on from him completely. Like you, I do not miss him intensely.

 

Keep looking foward. Stay out of contact.xxx

[ninjaturtles]

PS- I see you like 808 and heartbreak!

[EmperorR]

Emp, how do you feel? Suddenly you're free but it feels like something is missing. Once the pain has gone it leaves a gap.

 

It's like if you cut yourself, the wound turns to a scab which you get used to seeing and you keep touching it to see if it hurts. Then it heals and your skin returns to normal with no signs of what was there and you almost miss it and wonder what happened to it.

 

My emotions have faded now too and I feel a little lost without them. Maybe we're addicted to self pity which doesn't help us move on.

 

I feel just like normal, even when I try to think of her it just last a moment then I quickly think of something else. It's strange its like I don't miss her, I just miss someone to love hold spend time with, it's like now anyone can fill that void.

 

You know in the movie swingers when they talk about missing the pain after you healed because you've been living with it so long, I guess I'm at that point.

 

 

It's good to hear that bro! I'm really glad you're done with this crap.

 

I've also been feeling great, I couldn't care less what my ex does, who she's with or anything like that. I still sometimes wish things had been different, but nobody can change the past. Acceptance is the final stage of coping, when we realize it's all over and we feel nothing anymore, then we know it's over.

 

Took me 3 months and 15 days NC. There might be some bad days, but generally, I should be fine, I don't see any setbacks coming to me.

 

 

Yup, without NC i'd still be feeling like crap, to me its just like my ex the person i loved for and cared for is dead, its just a identical twin left with no emotions

 

 

Congrats Emperor. The KEY is NC and determination. I have started counting my days of NC...Today is the first (after a brief relapse). I truly look foward to being able to count 70 days of NC.

 

You have done so well. You and Tokyo. You two have encouraged me to stick to NC.

 

Ensure you dont get back in touch with her. Trust me. Remember I had been in NC for a while and felt like I was truly over him. However, after getting back in touch with him, my life went crumbling down again. However, I am determined to never look back.

 

I truly feel like I want to move on from him completely. Like you, I do not miss him intensely.

 

Keep looking foward. Stay out of contact.xxx

 

 

 

Thanks, and for sure I won't get in touch with her, just because I forgave and it's in the past, I still want nothing to do with her even as a friend, friend's are people I can count on and are there for me in the thick and thin, she offers nothing to me, I actually feel kind of sorry for her.

 

 

And yep i love heartbreak 808's its like every song was made for me

[kizik]

I'm glad you're having a good day, Emperor. You must be stoked to be at the point where it hurts significantly less.

 

I would just caution you to not speak too soon. I've said this stuff before, and found myself crying over something seemingly small that reminded me of her. Then, I ran into her and she had a new boyfriend. All things that can, and will, set you back.

 

Be prepared for hard times again. I hate to sound like such a killjoy, but the fact is that these people were HUGE parts of our lives, and they don't go away so easily. Hell, just the other night I had a dream of her, and it made my whole next day incredibly sad. Out of nowhere. Couldn't control it.

 

But, I am glad you are having a good day.

[EmperorR]

I'm glad you're having a good day, Emperor. You must be stoked to be at the point where it hurts significantly less.

 

I would just caution you to not speak too soon. I've said this stuff before, and found myself crying over something seemingly small that reminded me of her. Then, I ran into her and she had a new boyfriend. All things that can, and will, set you back.

 

Be prepared for hard times again. I hate to sound like such a killjoy, but the fact is that these people were HUGE parts of our lives, and they don't go away so easily. Hell, just the other night I had a dream of her, and it made my whole next day incredibly sad. Out of nowhere. Couldn't control it.

 

But, I am glad you are having a good day.

 

Yeah I know that's why I said, I hope I don't jinx myself, and its why I'm not like going to jump and look at pictures or her facebook like I'm ok.

[alwayssme]

I'm glad you're having a good day, Emperor. You must be stoked to be at the point where it hurts significantly less.

 

I would just caution you to not speak too soon. I've said this stuff before, and found myself crying over something seemingly small that reminded me of her. Then, I ran into her and she had a new boyfriend. All things that can, and will, set you back.

 

Be prepared for hard times again. I hate to sound like such a killjoy, but the fact is that these people were HUGE parts of our lives, and they don't go away so easily. Hell, just the other night I had a dream of her, and it made my whole next day incredibly sad. Out of nowhere. Couldn't control it.

 

But, I am glad you are having a good day.

 

 

yes it really is hard..one day u feel like ur over them, then u hear something or something reminds u of them and u get sad i try to avoid reminders of my ex so i can forget him..ur right though, they were a huge part of our lives and getting over them is not that easy...