Wife is out of house, talking to another guy

[Owl]

Totally agreed, Gunny. The media examples they have on TV and movies are definitely skewed on both sides of the gender line.

[Mountains10]

I really didn't want to post this, but I can see a lot of you guys or reeling and rocking from the why question"

 

So here goes. First off our deluxe brain housing groups aren't wired for the here and now. They're wired for about 10 to 150,000 years ago. Back then? There weren't very many human beings walking around. 150,000 years ago there were only about 10 to 40,000 homo sapiens walking around. Hell, there were probally less than 400,000 on the entire planet, 10,000 years ago.

 

Back then, (and pretty much today) our brains were wired to do one of two things survice and replicate, and that's where despite the modern world is where we're at today. Survive, replicate and pass on our genes/DNA.

 

Flash forward, despite all our modern advances, we're still pretty much in "cave-man" mode. Survive and replicate, pass on our genes and DNA.

 

Women's brains are wired to go with the guy ~ be attracted to the guy who offers the best S&R (Survive & Replicate) skills.

 

Everyone hates the "switch & bait" deal, being sold a bill of goods, being cheated. Somewhere along the line, we sold our spouses on the idea that we were the real deal, "Alpha-males" and somewhere a long the line we showed up being nice guys, "beta-males" and when a preceived real Alpha-Male came along, they went for it.

 

The reason Walk-a-wives are so pissed off? Is because we sold them an empty bill of goods, They thought they were getting a Corvette, when all they were getting was a Kia. :mad: A sub-compact Kia to boot.

 

Its not really any of our fault, because our fathers, uncles, and brothers generally don't have a clue. They didn't teach us what we needed to know, about dating, women, relating, marriage. Nor did we learn it at any level of schooling (from elementary through grad school ~ God forbid ~ that would mean talking about SEX! )

 

Goggle:

 

The Mystery Method

 

StyleLife

 

David DeAngelo

 

Read:

 

"The Game"

 

"The Mystery Method"

 

"1001 Ways To Be Romantic"

 

"1001 More Ways To Be Romantic"

 

"Light Her Fire"

 

"How to Light Our Fire When The Children Are Driving Us Crazy"

 

"Romance 101"

 

"Seduction"

 

"Why Men Don't Get Enough Sex, And Women Don't Get Enough Love"

 

"Why Men Don't Have A Clue And Women Need Another Pair of Shoes"

 

"Why Women Worry"

 

"How To Satisfy Her Everytime and Have Her Beg for More,..........." (Highly recommend)

 

"How To Give Her Absolute Pleasure"

 

Learn about tantic sex, massage, aroma-therapy (women have 10,000 more ofractory cells [they smell things better] than men), learn how to dance, (take dance lessons already! Take speech lessons, get a dressing coach, go to the gym 5X's a week!

 

Read May Hunt's "Debt Proof Living" get out of debt, get those bills paid off, get a years worth of income in the bank, get a $5000 car mainteance fund built up, fully identify any and all "Freedom Accounts" (Savings accounts with designated funds for designated things ~ annual property taxes, vacations, appliance & furniture replacement, paying your insurance preimiumns annually [lower payments] rather than monthly, lowering your deductables [again lower payments]

 

There are three areas you need to concentrate on ~ health, wealth and love. You fail in one you fail in the other two. You fail in love, your health and wealth will suffer. You fail in health, your wealth and love will fail. You fail in wealth and love and health will fail.

 

Gunny,

 

Thanks for writing all that, I am going to look thru all those links this weekend and do some learning! I had already read on a couple of them, from your previous posts, but I think that's a good comprehensive list. I hope to definitely learn more.

As for the why's , it makes total sense. I think a lot of women want it all, then again, I'm sure it goes the same for men. What happened to just the simple life? Is it technology's fault we're at where we are today? What happened to a woman that appreciated a simple man and a good time? I think those days are gone, thanks to modern times. I guess I'm just old school in that respect.

[Nomad1]

It seems that men who end up on LS have many similarities:

 

selfless, caring, hard-working, passionate, family oriented, believe in eternal monogamy, masochist, refuse to accept rejection....in endless pursuit of an answer to the question: why did she open her legs to a loser, when I gave her everything?

 

The answer is this:

 

They are too selfless, too caring, work too hard, are too passionate, care about their family too much.....MUST accept that she did the unthinkable and for that reason MUST stop asking questions.

 

Over the past year and a half, I have dated many women. A few simultaneously whilst being honest with whomever I was/am dating. I called it a day on 3 occasions with 3 different women who became too close for my comfort, I always made it clear that I just wanted a bit of fun with no commitment. My behaviour with women over the past year and a half has been completely out of character. Don't get me wrong, when I am with them I treat them real nice. But I am disinterested in pursuing a meaningful relationship. This has made them very keen to take things further.

 

I was betrayed by my wife of 17yrs. No more Mr nice guy! It has worked to my advantage so far!

 

Nomad1

[TrustInYourself]

Rules of attraction. Staying untouchable creates need.

 

To the OP, what have you done so far? What is her reaction? If the reaction does not suit your goals and desires, take the opposite reaction.

 

In the end, be careful what you ask for. You may just get it.

 

Stay true to yourself. Act according to what you want and desire and need. Set goals and remember what is effective.

 

What is funny is how easy it is to manipulate and control behavior and feelings through self control and inflection.

 

True power is understanding one's self.

[Sands_of_time]

 

What is funny is how easy it is to manipulate and control behavior and feelings through self control and inflection.

 

True power is understanding one's self.

 

Good post TIY. There is an author by the name of Jack Canfield. He's written many books but one is The Success Principles. In it he breaks down OUTCOMES to situations into a mathematical formula, if you will.

 

Events + Responses = Outcome (E+R=O). The ONLY way to ever change the outcome of an event that is thrown at you is to change your response (whether it be a mad as hell boss, a teacher berating your kid...etc).

 

You can't change the fact that your wife lied, cheated and bailed on you (the event). But you CAN change your response to the event. And changing your response changes the outcome. It sounds so simple.

 

Easier said than done in some cases but nevertheless the principle rings true.

[TrustInYourself]

Good post TIY. There is an author by the name of Jack Canfield. He's written many books but one is The Success Principles. In it he breaks down OUTCOMES to situations into a mathematical formula, if you will.

 

Events + Responses = Outcome (E+R=O). The ONLY way to ever change the outcome of an event that is thrown at you is to change your response (whether it be a mad as hell boss, a teacher berating your kid...etc).

 

You can't change the fact that your wife lied, cheated and bailed on you (the event). But you CAN change your response to the event. And changing your response changes the outcome. It sounds so simple.

 

Easier said than done in some cases but nevertheless the principle rings true.

 

Yes, exactly. It is easier said than done, due to human nature. We are passionate, emotional, unpredictable, and prone to act and react according to both our hearts and minds.

 

Knowing the key to success doesn't ensure success. It's using the key effectively and consistently. That's the hard part.

[Nomad1]

Responding logically to stressful situations is not the norm. It is an act of the highest achievement. Anger for instance, is an instinctive response which stems from the part of the brain that our primate forefathers (if you believe in evolution) had for a brain, before the development of language. Fight, flight instincts, anger, desire to reproduce etc, are interestingly controlled by the same region of the brain (the smaller brain at the back of the head. When you feel angry, you can sense the sparks at the back of your head and down the spine. he sypathetic part of the nervous system over which we have very little control. I must point out that we may not be able to control feeling angry, for instance, but we can control what we do/say in response to the feeling of anger. People who think and act logically are able to conrol their emotions. They are able to detach It is what separates boys from men. For example, most would agree that if your spouse cheats, that is a deal breaker, no matter how they beg and plead for forgiveness. However, what we are seeing on LS, are men who despite being crapped on spectacularly, are hoping to get back with a cheater! What planet do these men hail from? Feel your balls man! Are they still there or has she taken them with her? Reclaim your balls now! Don't be nice to her! She does not deserve your niceness. If you have kids, be matter of fact and exacting. Do not take any more BS. You are the man. You are in charge!

 

Nomad1

[BusterBrown]

Responding logically to stressful situations is not the norm. It is an act of the highest achievement. Anger for instance, is an instinctive response which stems from the part of the brain that our primate forefathers (if you believe in evolution) had for a brain, before the development of language. Fight, flight instincts, anger, desire to reproduce etc, are interestingly controlled by the same region of the brain (the smaller brain at the back of the head. When you feel angry, you can sense the sparks at the back of your head and down the spine. he sypathetic part of the nervous system over which we have very little control. I must point out that we may not be able to control feeling angry, for instance, but we can control what we do/say in response to the feeling of anger. People who think and act logically are able to conrol their emotions. They are able to detach It is what separates boys from men. For example, most would agree that if your spouse cheats, that is a deal breaker, no matter how they beg and plead for forgiveness. However, what we are seeing on LS, are men who despite being crapped on spectacularly, are hoping to get back with a cheater! What planet do these men hail from? Feel your balls man! Are they still there or has she taken them with her? Reclaim your balls now! Don't be nice to her! She does not deserve your niceness. If you have kids, be matter of fact and exacting. Do not take any more BS. You are the man. You are in charge!

 

Nomad1

 

Wow, nomad. All I can say is thank you. I needed to hear that.

[BusterBrown]

Hmm. I know this isn't the right forum for financial matters. But I was wondering if anyone knows of any good resources on the net about taking my wife off the mortgage and what that entails. I'm still not sure if I am going to keep the house or move into an apartment. It depends on what I can afford. I think I will try to call my mortgage company Monday or Tuesday and see what they say. This is all very new to me. This is my first house. I've never sold a house before either.

 

This sucks. I never thought I'd be doing all of this BS work in 2009. 3 months ago I thought that I would just be sitting around the fireplace with my wife, watching movies and laughing at the dogs.

 

Today is her B-Day and I'm not even going to call her. She's just a piece of crap for leaving me. Matter of fact, today is another one of my friend's birthday. I'm going to dinner and the arcade tonight with him and friends. And I'm going to have FUN.

 

Happy Saturday, all.

[Mountains10]

Hmm. I know this isn't the right forum for financial matters. But I was wondering if anyone knows of any good resources on the net about taking my wife off the mortgage and what that entails. I'm still not sure if I am going to keep the house or move into an apartment. It depends on what I can afford. I think I will try to call my mortgage company Monday or Tuesday and see what they say. This is all very new to me. This is my first house. I've never sold a house before either.

 

This sucks. I never thought I'd be doing all of this BS work in 2009. 3 months ago I thought that I would just be sitting around the fireplace with my wife, watching movies and laughing at the dogs.

 

Today is her B-Day and I'm not even going to call her. She's just a piece of crap for leaving me. Matter of fact, today is another one of my friend's birthday. I'm going to dinner and the arcade tonight with him and friends. And I'm going to have FUN.

 

Happy Saturday, all.

 

Hey LMWG,

 

I'm no expert but I don't think you can just take her name off the mortgage, you'll have to refinance the house into one your names and/or sell it I believe. I'm in that same boat. I/we decided to just go ahead and sell it, don't need any new debts right now. Besides, would rather not deal with all of that stuff as a single guy, I can always buy another house down the road. Maybe someone else can chime in on this.

[BusterBrown]

Hey all. It's been a while since I've posted.

 

Not much new going on. I've been working on refinancing the house and getting a roommate. Life is going to be a struggle financially but I will have to survive.

 

I'm thinking about getting a weekend job waiting tables, which is TOTALLY not like me. I think I would royally suck at being a waiter. But it is good money and it gives me a chance to meet a lot of people. I don't know, I'm still thinking about it.

 

Just got off the phone and man I can't stand her. She just pisses me off so bad. I'll just leave it at that. My blood pressure is probably through the roof right now.

 

I've been trying to work on my game. Not trying to pick up chicks yet, just getting some practice for when that time comes. It's been 9 years since I was single! So yeah I just pick out the hottest girl in the room and say what the hell I'll just go talk to her. Anything to put me out of my comfort zone.

 

I'm trying to think positive but man is it hard!!! I just feel like I've been beaten down so bad. I'll keep on trying though. Life is too short to be miserable.

[TrustInYourself]

Hey all. It's been a while since I've posted.

 

Not much new going on. I've been working on refinancing the house and getting a roommate. Life is going to be a struggle financially but I will have to survive.

 

I'm thinking about getting a weekend job waiting tables, which is TOTALLY not like me. I think I would royally suck at being a waiter. But it is good money and it gives me a chance to meet a lot of people. I don't know, I'm still thinking about it.

 

Just got off the phone and man I can't stand her. She just pisses me off so bad. I'll just leave it at that. My blood pressure is probably through the roof right now.

 

I've been trying to work on my game. Not trying to pick up chicks yet, just getting some practice for when that time comes. It's been 9 years since I was single! So yeah I just pick out the hottest girl in the room and say what the hell I'll just go talk to her. Anything to put me out of my comfort zone.

 

I'm trying to think positive but man is it hard!!! I just feel like I've been beaten down so bad. I'll keep on trying though. Life is too short to be miserable.

 

Do it. Get that job. Get nuts. Next time she calls, tell her you are busy politely and hang up.