Wife is out of house, talking to another guy

[donno]

I have been married for a similar amount of time, we too have our issues but NEVER around any sort of infidelity. I have been emotionally and physicially jipped by husband for some time now but have never wandered. Because I do love him and we are still married, I couldn't imagine messing around with someone else. She sounds like a selfish brat, she's probably basking in the pleas from you; "look how much this fool loves me, I can wander and he cry's for me back". --sorry, but you sound like a good guy, just being honest.

 

I think it is important that you toughen up! She will respect that more in a man. If you feel you will cry, beg or plead if you were to meet her for this meeting-then don't go.

 

You can't make someone love and want you. If it will work out this is the only way.......Tell her that when SHE's ready to take some responsibility and discuss what's going to happen to your marriage then to let you know, good-bye. Leave it at that and do not break down and call or text her when you are missing her. Do not beg, plea or cry (in front of her) If this has any chance of continuing on as a happy marriage; she should be calling you begging, pleaing and crying-and if she does, don't be too quick to accept it; she needs to know you mean business. And if she doesn't, move on and be greatful it happened when you were young and ( didn't see any mention of) there are no kids involved.

 

Best of luck to you!!

[BusterBrown]

pelican preacher the friend's house she is staying at is her best friend's. Her best friend is out of the house for a month so my wife was going to be feeding her cats anyways. Guess it was just perfect timing for her.

[pelicanpreacher]

Alright, right now you're feeling like a Georgian that's got the grits stomped out of him and that is completely natural and expected considering your situation! Get yourself together because you have now been strapped into what is guaranteed to be a bumpy ride for which you have little control.

 

Know, however, that though the burn of your grief be quick and sharp in balance against the angst of her lasting and hellish torment you must still show the compassion embued unto you for all GOD's creatures deserving mercy in the face of everlasting pain! Though she may suffice a brave face she is torn on her guilt for she knows right from wrong and cannot escape the Reaper grip's consequences of a fate carved hard of her own choosing.

[BusterBrown]

pelican preacher i hope you are right that she will feel guilty and have regrets for her whole life. I know it sounds mean but after all of the hurt she has put me through lately I'm starting to not care. It just really burns me up that I spent the last 8 years of my life working for a dream and she doesn't care. 8 years down the drain. When does this hurt go away? I can forgive and forget some things, but how can I ever get over this completely? I feel like I've been scarred emotionally and it is going to be an issue now forever.

 

Also, I have been thinking. If this does all end in divorce, then I will be a divorcee. This does not really help me out in the dating game. I'm afraid that women will judge me because I failed to make a marriage last more than 3 years. It's just so embarrassing. I feel like damaged goods now. Not to mention that I am now 27 and starting from scratch again. Back to where I was when I was 19. 8 years down the drain.

 

I'm just so depressed. I went to the doctor today because of my physical symptoms. They referred me to a psychiatrist. Still not sure if I'm going to go. I have to get over the belief that shrinks are for crazy people. Have I gone crazy? So embarrassing.

[pelicanpreacher]

You shall slay all notions of recompsense for Vengence is Mine, sayeth the Lord!

 

You shall turn to the Lord and he shall meet thine hope. Be thee not wicked, weak, nor confused for thy soul thirsteth for nourishment and seek to folllow the path of innocence and righteousness.

 

Note: The Lord hath nothing to do with the pedantic measures of Man and hath no bearing on the fascilious notions of an academic prescription!

DO NOT PRESENT THESE CONCERNS TO ME AGAIN!

[sumdude]

 

Also, I have been thinking. If this does all end in divorce, then I will be a divorcee. This does not really help me out in the dating game. I'm afraid that women will judge me because I failed to make a marriage last more than 3 years. It's just so embarrassing. I feel like damaged goods now. Not to mention that I am now 27 and starting from scratch again. Back to where I was when I was 19. 8 years down the drain.

 

I'm just so depressed. I went to the doctor today because of my physical symptoms. They referred me to a psychiatrist. Still not sure if I'm going to go. I have to get over the belief that shrinks are for crazy people. Have I gone crazy? So embarrassing.

 

First off, i know how you feel because for a while I felt the same way.

 

Realty is? 50% of marriages end in divorce so you're in very good company. Yep, you may feel embarrassed and like a failure right now but you know what? Every success in life has a trail of failures leading up to it. Just how many of Edisons light bulbs failed before he got the right one?

 

You're injured and you will heal. The damage isn't permanent and the scar will be one of experience. 27 is very young though you might not feel it right now. I was 39 when divorced last year but I'm seeing is as just a number how I act is what counts.

 

There's nothing wrong with seeing a psychologist. Drop the stigma, that's what they're in business for. More often to help people through tough times in life than anything 'crazy'. And no, you haven't gone crazy but right now your mind is having a very hard time coping and making sense of what's going on. This is natural when faced with these things.

[Dexter Morgan]

On Monday, December 1, I did something I'm not proud of but felt it had to be done. I snooped through her email and files on her computer.

 

don't be ashamed. When people are being kept in the dark and they know something isn't right, they need answers. You needed answers and you got them.

 

Besides, what you did pales in comparison to what she is doing.

 

 

I found an email from a guy that included pictures of him, 2 of them quite explicit. I looked at her internet browsing history and found that she had been looking at pages about emotional affairs. I confronted her about this over the phone. She said he is just a friend she's known from when she was 15 and she didn't make him or ask him to send those pictures. I doubted this but went along with it.

 

Ya, but she sure kept them didn't she? Don't let her fool you.

 

 

The week went by and I tried everything to get her back - crying, begging pleading, basically putting myself at her mercy. I know I probably should've been stronger and less emotional to her, but that's what happened. I also offered to go get conselling but she refused.

 

Take it from someone who was probably more desperate and in the fog as you, I understand what you are going through. But in thinking that you want her back you aren't thinking clearly.

 

I know, you are probably thinking about finances, or your home, or children, or that you are simply devestated and can't imagine getting anyone better.

 

But can you honestly say you think there will come a day when you will be able to forget about this completely? I think anyone that says yes is fooling themselves. Can there come a day where you simply don't think about it all the time and it doesn't consume your every thought? Sure, but it will conume your thoughts here and there. But why even settle for that?

 

 

What do I do now? I really want her to come home so we can talk face to face. I'm so hurt and confused.

 

I think you need to wait to have any talk when you are thinking clearly. You will probably come off like a needy lapdog if you rush it. You need the fog to lift and the shock of it all to go away before you talk about this and commit to whatever it is you will end up doing.

 

Because right now, I think you'd blindly take her back because of the despair you feel.

 

 

I know I wasn't the perfect man and I am totally willing to work on it. I'm just afraid to let her back in so easily because that would make her think that the affair was not that bad. On the other hand I'm afraid to let her stay out of the house because she could be seeing this guy. I'm stuck. Please help me.

 

So what is going to happen if you take her back, forgive her, and she is away from the house for extended periods of time?

 

I can tell you one thing, if you do take her back and both of you commit to working on the marriage, then you have your part to do in it, but her part should include some, if not all, of the following:

 

-email addresses and passwords she has should be divulged to you

-her phone should be accessible to you

-she needs to show you she is doing nothing wrong.

-above all, she needs to call this other guy, with you sitting there listening and her tell this guy that you know and that it will end right then and there

-she needs to be conscious of her time away from home. In other words, if she goes out with friends, she needs to realize that there are times to come home that are inappropriate, especially for a spouse that has proved themselves untrustworthy. Honestly, I'd say she pretty much @#$@ed up any privelidges she had in that regard, but hey, it is what it is.

 

She needs to be an open book. If there is anything you want to see happen and it isn't happening, or she refuses to give up something or make something known to you, then it would be time to find a good divorce lawyer.

[SRV]

Dexter Morgan, I think he should thank his lucky stars that they do not have children together. This would be more complicated and devastating.

 

Why would he want to play detective in a marriage especially in this case? Cut your loses now, file for D and find someone that will love you and respect you for who you are.

 

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You give them a yard, they will test your limits and take a yard, if not after this reconciliation but in the future.

 

Having read people's experinces on this forum, sooner or later on in life they will wander again. I'd rather cut my loses early, dust myself, and move on. Life is just too short to spend chasing after someone that genuinely does not reciprocate the love and care accorded to them.

[LovieDove24]

I disagree with SRV...It is absolutely NOT impossible for a person to change. One of our sole purposes in this life is to become the best person we can be, and if we realize this we will do everything in our power to make it happen. But, and this is a HUGE but, it cannot happen on anyone elses terms but your own. All the poking and prodding will land on deaf ears until the person has their *official* lightbulb moment. And sadly for some this never happens. It is not an easy process. Think of how hard it is to change yourself--your core self--and you will realize the likelihood for others to change.

 

All you can do right now is focus on yourself. Our words here on LS are all very genuine...many of us have been in awful relations before and are speaking from experience. Please realize you cannot change her, only yourself. Someday you will look back and be grateful of 1 of 2 things: 1) You did not continue to beg and plead and your wife realized the error in her ways on her OWN terms or 2) You did not continue to beg and plead and your wife is missing out.

 

Please dont beg and plead. Every human is dumb and makes mistakes. Your wife is no different. Just work on being the best person you can be...and well her? It'll probably take her longer on that one...

[Owl]

This situation isn't hopeless.

 

Its still possible to reconcile the marriage, if that's what the OP wants to do.

 

The suggestion was made to read the articles over on marriagebuilders, and that's a good start.

 

Specifically, you need to implement a strong "plan A".

 

You need to learn what her emotional needs are, and meet them where you can. You need to make yourself more attractive to her (but you don't do this by TELLING her that's what you're doing...simply DO IT). When you see her, dress nicely, wear a cologne you know she likes, etc...

 

Stop being clingly and crying. I know that it's how you feel, but that isn't attractive.

 

Be strong. Quiet. Thoughtful.

 

Listen to what she has to say, without reacting. Think about it. Then start by replying back with the pertinent parts, so that she KNOWS you were listening...and reply back without any heat or anger.

 

DO expose the affair to her family, your family, and any friends that you know support your marriage.

 

Let her suffer the consequences of her actions.

 

DO NOT APOLOGIZE for exposing, or for snooping.

 

When she gets angry about the snooping, simply look her directly in the eye and tell her that it was her suspiscious behavior that led you to do so...and, look at what you found.

 

Married women do NOT receive and KEEP (she didn't delete them, did she?) inappropriate photos of old friends. They don't HIDE the fact that they're in contact with this old friend, nor do they exclude their husband from all of this.

 

Clearly, she IS involved with this guy, and your snooping was totally and completely the right thing to do. Now you know the truth, and that's why she's angry.

 

Plan A, my friend. Work it hard.

[BusterBrown]

Just an update:

Wife came over yesterday to talk. We had talked about meeting but I wasn't sure if she was really going to come over. I was kind of surprised that she did. We talked for a hour or two. This time I just really listened hard. She told me some of the ways I had been acting lately to drive her to separation. I can't really say she was wrong. I have not always been there for her. Sometimes I say things that I shouldn't. She tells me important things and I forget. For example, about a month ago was the 1 year anniversary of her grandfather passing away. She was really close to him. She had told me about a week before that the anniversary was coming up. Well, on the anniversary day, I had completely forgot. This hurt her. I just wish I could turn back the clock on that one. Big mistake.

 

So, anyway, I just listened. I told her that there was nothing I could say to her that would fix anything. I said right now I just need my actions to speak, not my words. It was good conversation, not much tension. I was afraid that it would turn into a shouting match. She told me she thought the same.

 

I didn't bring up the suspicions I had of her and the OM. I figure if she is having a relationship with someone else, she is not going to divulge much of anything about it right now anyway. I will know in time. She asked if I had told my parents. I said yes. She said that this means she will not be coming to Christmas at my parents house. Ouch. Double ouch. I hope she changes her mind on that. That's gonna hurt.

 

I didn't show weakness. I acted happy(even though inside I am torn up). I told her that if she needs to think then that is exactly what she needs to do. She left but we exchanged a big long hug. I don't really know what to take from that but I can tell you that it felt so good.

 

Anyways, yesterday was a good day and today is so far too. I'm eating better, sleeping better, my confidence is recharging. I've decided I am going to talk to her only when she initiates contact. It's going to be a long, hard struggle. I don't know what the future holds. Its quite scary. But I'm going to keep at it. There is always hope.

[TrustInYourself]

Just an update:

Wife came over yesterday to talk. We had talked about meeting but I wasn't sure if she was really going to come over. I was kind of surprised that she did. We talked for a hour or two. This time I just really listened hard. She told me some of the ways I had been acting lately to drive her to separation. I can't really say she was wrong. I have not always been there for her. Sometimes I say things that I shouldn't. She tells me important things and I forget. For example, about a month ago was the 1 year anniversary of her grandfather passing away. She was really close to him. She had told me about a week before that the anniversary was coming up. Well, on the anniversary day, I had completely forgot. This hurt her. I just wish I could turn back the clock on that one. Big mistake.

 

So, anyway, I just listened. I told her that there was nothing I could say to her that would fix anything. I said right now I just need my actions to speak, not my words. It was good conversation, not much tension. I was afraid that it would turn into a shouting match. She told me she thought the same.

 

I didn't bring up the suspicions I had of her and the OM. I figure if she is having a relationship with someone else, she is not going to divulge much of anything about it right now anyway. I will know in time. She asked if I had told my parents. I said yes. She said that this means she will not be coming to Christmas at my parents house. Ouch. Double ouch. I hope she changes her mind on that. That's gonna hurt.

 

I didn't show weakness. I acted happy(even though inside I am torn up). I told her that if she needs to think then that is exactly what she needs to do. She left but we exchanged a big long hug. I don't really know what to take from that but I can tell you that it felt so good.

 

Anyways, yesterday was a good day and today is so far too. I'm eating better, sleeping better, my confidence is recharging. I've decided I am going to talk to her only when she initiates contact. It's going to be a long, hard struggle. I don't know what the future holds. Its quite scary. But I'm going to keep at it. There is always hope.

 

There are some good points in your approach and some bad points. You are living life for yourself, good. You are staying positive, good. You are acting with confidence and learning to listen to her, good. You are showing that you can change, good.

 

You should be establishing yourself as her supportive husband, rather than giving her complete freedom. There is another man in the picture, even if it's just emotional, rather than physical. It's still an affair.

 

Do you have to be confrontational? Hmm..that's tough. Are you at a point where you can handle her worst and still be happy without her? It's on you, bud. You can give her complete space, but you are playing the odds that the known (you) outweigh the benefits of mystery and the unknown (the other man). That's a hard battle to win.

[Dexter Morgan]

Dexter Morgan, I think he should thank his lucky stars that they do not have children together. This would be more complicated and devastating.

 

No kidding!! Get out while the gettin' is good.

 

 

Why would he want to play detective in a marriage especially in this case? Cut your loses now, file for D and find someone that will love you and respect you for who you are.

 

I agree. why have to play PI or warden to someone you can't trust?

 

 

Once a cheater, always a cheater. You give them a yard, they will test your limits and take a yard, if not after this reconciliation but in the future.

 

Having read people's experinces on this forum, sooner or later on in life they will wander again.

 

You will have plenty that disagree with what you just said, but experience and common sense tells me otherwise and concurs with your statements.

 

 

I'd rather cut my loses early, dust myself, and move on. Life is just too short to spend chasing after someone that genuinely does not reciprocate the love and care accorded to them.

 

Especially when there are no children involved. he has a good case for annullment.

[Dexter Morgan]

Just an update:

Wife came over yesterday to talk. We had talked about meeting but I wasn't sure if she was really going to come over. I was kind of surprised that she did. We talked for a hour or two. This time I just really listened hard. She told me some of the ways I had been acting lately to drive her to separation.

 

Gee, how did we know this gaslighting was coming??

 

 

I can't really say she was wrong. I have not always been there for her. Sometimes I say things that I shouldn't. She tells me important things and I forget.

 

Yup, you've been gaslighted alright. She just manipulated you into thinking this is your fault. You can come back and say you are putting fault on yourself, but that is exactly what you are doing.

 

And she is blaming you for her decision to cheat. remember, according to her, and you, YOU pushed her to cheat.

 

I am sorry she is able to manipulate you this way. I don't think there is anything we can do for you. She has her hooks in tight.

 

 

For example, about a month ago was the 1 year anniversary of her grandfather passing away. She was really close to him. She had told me about a week before that the anniversary was coming up. Well, on the anniversary day, I had completely forgot. This hurt her. I just wish I could turn back the clock on that one. Big mistake.

 

So you forgot something. yes it was important, but not the end of the world, so she decides to betray you and blame you. How typical.

 

 

I didn't bring up the suspicions I had of her and the OM. I figure if she is having a relationship with someone else, she is not going to divulge much of anything about it right now anyway. I will know in time. She asked if I had told my parents. I said yes. She said that this means she will not be coming to Christmas at my parents house. Ouch. Double ouch. I hope she changes her mind on that. That's gonna hurt.

 

I didn't show weakness.

 

I'm sorry to say, but yes, you did. You accepted blame, and she blamed you, no matter how you try to justify it.

 

 

Anyways, yesterday was a good day and today is so far too. I'm eating better, sleeping better, my confidence is recharging. I've decided I am going to talk to her only when she initiates contact. It's going to be a long, hard struggle. I don't know what the future holds. Its quite scary. But I'm going to keep at it. There is always hope.

 

Hope? Hope of what? Acting in exactly the way she expects or else you fear she will cheat again? Only hope I see is you keeping your marriage by being an emotional slave. God help you when she steps out on you when you REALLY do something wrong.

 

But like I said, sounds like she has gaslighted you good and you are buying it. The hooks are set and you are going to fold to her will out of fear.

 

Good luck my man.

[LiveandLearn]

Wow. It hurts to hear that you're going through this, which is almost identical to the situation that I am going through.

 

I agree with most of the advice in this thread; just let it be. You can't, and shouldn't have to change her mind or convince her to come back. It definitely won't work out if both of your hearts aren't in the same place. It does take two to make a relationship work. And besides, SHE'S the one that left. SHE'S the one that cheated. SHE should be the one begging and pleading for your forgiveness and putting forth all the effort to make the relationship work and to regain your trust. Sure she had her reasons for leaving or cheating, but none of them justify her actions for cheating. You just don't do that to people. There are other, less-hurtful ways to go about it. If she were harboring these ill feelings about your marriage, she should have confronted you about it FIRST before bringing in a third person because then that just makes it more complicated than need be. It clouds a person's judgement. As her loving and devoted husband, whom she made a commitment to, she owes you at least THAT much respect. Speaking from my own experience, my husband had told me that his reason for leaving the marraige was "not about HER" and that he had been harboring these feelings (that we don't belong together/won't work out/aren't as compatible,etc.) BEFORE she even came into the picture, but upon meeting her it just "reinforced" his way of thinking, but by that time we were already as good as married. Sorry, I went off on a tangent there

 

Anyway, I wish I can practice what I preach It's always easier to be positive when it comes to other peoples lives, but when it comes to our own, it's the hardest thing to do.

[LiveandLearn]

Sorry for double post. My internet was acting up...

[Enema]

I agree with DexterMorgan.... you didn't handle the meeting very well.

 

The adulterer is now in control and has you on the back foot. Bad bad bad.

[RecordProducer]

On Friday, November 28, she came to me and told me that she wasn't happy and that she needed space and time to think.

I don't know if anybody here paid attention to this - in my opinion - most important part of the entire story: she needed time apart to think. She never announced she wanted the marriage to end. Next, you discover that she is actively communicating with a mysterious guy friend.

 

First of all, you still have every right to know the truth about this guy. But you're afraid that it will push her even further. Does he live in the same city? If he is "just a friend," tell her that you want to meet him and become his friend, too. On the other hand, if he lives far away and you think they haven't seen each other, then don't sweat it until you think they've met in person.

 

I think the crux of the story is as follows:

1. Wife claims to be unhappy

2. She moves out and has another guy

3. You want her back no matter what

 

Is this correct? Nobody here can tell you if she slept with him or not. You know your wife best and you know if she's sincere or not. In any case, I would cut her tool of manipulation and sitting on the fence immediately. I would tell her calmly: "I don't believe you that he is just your friend, I know you slept with him and with that you ended the marriage."

 

If she hasn't slept with him and if she doesn't want a divorce, this should induce her to come home and beg YOU to take her back immediately. I am actually surprised you haven't called the other man to hear his side of the story. You have a right to do so since you suspect that your wife might be lying to you, and you'd be surprised how much you can find out from talking to him, especially if you meet him in person. Just seeing him might convince you that there is no chance for him to have seduced your wife. I once started suspecting that my husband was seeing a woman. Then I googled her and saw her pictures, biography, and DOB, and - just laughed at myself. Her emails suddenly started looking very innocent and benign.

 

also, i must say that I feel like I am being played. How can 201 text messages in 8 days be just friendly chatter?

They could be. It's 2-3 messages per day.

 

I just really don't feel like going through a divorce at Christmas. Too much stress. I've thought about waiting until after the holidays.

There are worse things that people go through for Christmas. Divorce and separation take a long time to heal, so all divorcees have had at least one sad Christmas.

 

Also, I have been thinking. If this does all end in divorce, then I will be a divorcee. This does not really help me out in the dating game. I'm afraid that women will judge me because I failed to make a marriage last more than 3 years. It's just so embarrassing. I feel like damaged goods now. Not to mention that I am now 27 and starting from scratch again. Back to where I was when I was 19. 8 years down the drain.

This is really funny! Actually, I felt the same when my first husband left me and I was 25, a single mom of two-year old twins. I felt defective and thought my life was over, especially my love life. Well, now I am re-married and I am not afraid of divorcing anymore. I see the concept of divorce as an opportunity for a change rather than a failure. Women won't judge you. Relationships break. It's not important anymore if your marriage failed, it's just one relationship. You don't even have children, right? Even if you do, it wouldn't make you damaged goods. Who said that you have to have one woman in your life? I think of my life as river passing through different cities, forests, and mountains. The more the merrier.

[Mr. Lucky]

Originally Posted by LoveMyWifeinGA

also, i must say that I feel like I am being played. How can 201 text messages in 8 days be just friendly chatter?

 

They could be. It's 2-3 messages per day.

 

201 text messages in 8 days is 25 messages a day. A completely innappropriate level of contact for a married woman to have with another man. Unfortunately LoveMyWifeinGA, I don't think that it's the only type of innappropriate contact that has occured...

 

Mr. Lucky

[RecordProducer]

201 text messages in 8 days is 25 messages a day.

Oh, yeah!

[Owl]

Sorry, but "time apart to think" when she's emotionally involved with another man is NOT "time apart to think"...it's "time to be with the other person".

 

His situation CAN be recovered.

 

Listening to her without going ballistic is good.

 

But...he still needs to make it clear that this IS an affair, and he's not going to accept that quietly.

 

Plan A.

[RecordProducer]

Sorry, but "time apart to think" when she's emotionally involved with another man is NOT "time apart to think"...it's "time to be with the other person".

 

Exactly! If she needed time apart to think, she has no right to be with another man. She didn't include that as part of the deal. So he has every right to question her fidelity.

[BusterBrown]

Update!

 

Looks like we are most definitely getting a divorce.

 

Here's what's happened since I last posted.

I ended up going to the marriage counselor by myself twice. It was helpful. But it still takes two. We didn't see each other at Christmas. She did come over the 27th to bring me gifts that her family bought me. We talked a little bit. She still says "i dunno" to everything. Wth, woman, you've had 1 month to think!

 

So the moment had arrived that I had been waiting for. The phone bill came in the mail. If you recall, last months was high and full of text messages to the same guy. She completely denies anything with this guy, says he is just a friend. I was hoping, praying, wishing that i would get this months phone bill and see that she had stopped contacting him. Well, this phone bill BLEW ME AWAY. $461!!! It's normally $120. Needless to say I was pissed. Called her on the phone, told her if she is still not going to stop talking to this guy, move back in, and work on this, then i was DONE.

 

I've been separating bank accounts, deactivating credit cards, changing passwords, and changing locks. This is the easy stuff for me. It's the actual process of filing for divorce that just rocks me to the core. The finality of it all is just very heartbreaking. I am trying to be strong. Right now it is day by day.

 

So now this is my life. I'm divorced. I want to expose this thing. Is it too late for exposure, should I just move on? Is there a tasteful way of doing exposure? I just don't want her to get even more pissed and royally clean me out. She did tell me that this OM has a girlfriend. I don't know how I can find out who that is but I'm sure she would LOVE to know. Would sending emails or using myspace or facebook be appropriate? I hate cheaters, they are maggots. top of the mornin' to ya:D

[Gunny376]

I'd be cutting this "cancer" out of my life before it consumed me. I would let her family know she's a cheater.

 

Once a cheater ~ always a cheater, and if they're a cheater, they're a cheater in other aspects of their life. Lier, theif, crook, swindler, selfish, self-centered.

 

There may be exceptions but generally not.

[Mr. Lucky]

I want to expose this thing. Is it too late for exposure, should I just move on? Is there a tasteful way of doing exposure? I just don't want her to get even more pissed and royally clean me out. She did tell me that this OM has a girlfriend. I don't know how I can find out who that is but I'm sure she would LOVE to know. Would sending emails or using myspace or facebook be appropriate?

Wasted energy, my friend. At this point, why would you care if the OM has a girlfriend, dog or mohawk haircut? Your focus should be on YOU, not her and whatever (or whomever) she's doing. She's giving you dis-information in a continued attempt to manipulate you.

 

Start going out with friends, making new friends (if you know what I mean ) and getting your 2009 in order. At this point, best to look forward, not back...

 

Mr. Lucky