Facebook (dont look at your ex's)

[williamz]

i've read many people on here say this, and it's absolutely true. i deactivated my account a while back. and just activated it again. and even though i'm not friends with her on fb, i stupidly was able to and did look at some pictures of her and it's giving me a panic attack.

 

this girl who bonded with me over the stupidity of the frat boy life is in tons and tons of pictures where she is barely clothed, chugging bottles of liquor, drinking beer while doingg handstands. I really don't understand. Like it's one thing to break up with me, but it's another thing that the entire relationship was a facade. I mean she obviously is some slutty crazy party girl, and that's just how she is. But she led me to believe she wasn't at all and hated that lifestyle.

 

I really can't understand how someone can just totally change. It's not like I'm mad about the break up, more so disappointed that our relationship was just a joke.

 

I'm just ranting here to avoid doing something stupid like contacting her. I'm not looking down on having a good time or drinking in general. I enjoy it to an extent myself. It's just tough to see someone seemingly turn into a totally different person, that I really don't know.

[SelfCentered]

So true. So so true. If they're on Facebook, delete them from your account, and under no circumstances do you want to look at it and see who they're dating, or what/who they're doing.

 

Facebook is going fast becoming a bitch with regards to relationships for our generation.

[gd26]

I feel your pain. I just did the same thing a few hours back... checked him out online.

 

The only difference in my case is that he isn't doing anything like your girl... he's used this time to continue to make himself a better person and pursue his personal growth and goals. (No he didn't just say this to me, I could see from all the stuff he's been involved with since, and all the kind messages he wrote to others.) It just reminded me what a great guy he is, and how much he has always inspired me.

 

I am not going to check his FB or websites further. Instead, I am motivated to change myself. Instead of cyberstalking him further, I am going to take control of my own life and make myself the best person I can be too. So if I ever do meet up with him, I would have actually made my life awesome instead of just pretending.

[EmperorR]

yup facebook is the devil, my ex was the same cheated and dumped me said she wanted to be alone, this quiet innocent girl that I loved for 3 years, a week after dumping me in a new relationship, all smiling in pictures like a little demon.

[northstar1]

i've read many people on here say this, and it's absolutely true. i deactivated my account a while back. and just activated it again. and even though i'm not friends with her on fb, i stupidly was able to and did look at some pictures of her and it's giving me a panic attack.

 

this girl who bonded with me over the stupidity of the frat boy life is in tons and tons of pictures where she is barely clothed, chugging bottles of liquor, drinking beer while doingg handstands. I really don't understand. Like it's one thing to break up with me, but it's another thing that the entire relationship was a facade. I mean she obviously is some slutty crazy party girl, and that's just how she is. But she led me to believe she wasn't at all and hated that lifestyle.

 

I really can't understand how someone can just totally change. It's not like I'm mad about the break up, more so disappointed that our relationship was just a joke.

 

I'm just ranting here to avoid doing something stupid like contacting her. I'm not looking down on having a good time or drinking in general. I enjoy it to an extent myself. It's just tough to see someone seemingly turn into a totally different person, that I really don't know.

 

Well, it's a tough lesson, but at least you've learned not to look at her info anymore. Nothing good can come from checking an ex's myspace etc, you won't see anything that will make you feel better in any way ever.

 

But also, don't forget that most people use those sites as publicity tools for their lives, and only put up pictures that make it look like they are leading the happiest life in the universe, at bars, etc.. I'm not saying your ex isn't out partying, but take all that stuff with a grain of salt. No one is going to post pictures of them doing laundry, or sitting around doing boring things like watching tv or reading, or thinking about their ex's etc.

[sb129]

Also- I personally think its dumb to put photos of yourself half clothed and getting wasted on there. Most employers these days check out peoples facebook sites, and there has even been a famous case recently where a guy said on his status that he was hungover (he had called in sick to work) and got fired.

 

Your ex GF is most likely deliberately putting those kind of photos on there to make herself look good, as the previous poster said. But one day those kind of pics could backfire on her......

[Crazy.S]

Do yourself a favor unfriend/block her and anyone she hangs out with. You don't want to risk seeing more pictures through her network.

[lovesickandstuck]

Facebook is the absolute devil after a breakup. Do yourself a favor and delete any of her friends that you might be friends with on facebook. Or if your friends are friends with her on facebook, ask them to delete her as well. Coming from personal experience, your ex might try to comment on their stuff just so you can see! ugh. delete delete delete. Or just don't log on hahaha:D

[darnay]

Best thing I EVER did was erase my Facebook profile. It is the devils work when you end a relationship. Seeing photo's and checking your exes profile just eats away at you. Trust me you DO NOT want to see or hear what they are doing. I have completely distanced myself from my ex and all of his friends. Essentially I disappeared from all of there lives over 2 months ago. I'm now working on rebuilding my life and concentrating on me, rather then him and/or his friends.

[Ruby Slippers]

No one is going to post pictures of them doing laundry, or sitting around doing boring things like watching tv or reading, or thinking about their ex's etc.

haha Wouldn't it be funny if they did, though?

 

I never signed up for Facebook, so I didn't have to worry about that. But I did recently delete him on myspace and all other Internet sites/chat programs/etc. I also deleted his entire e-mail folder and all its contents.

 

I was really sad about it the next day -- felt like a door had really closed -- but I think it was very helpful in the big picture. It DID close a door -- one that I needed to close.

[SierraRose]

My space is nothing but trouble. Quick back ground..I had a b/f for 4 years. We broke up for 3 months, and eventually got back together. In that short time frame we were apart, he hooked up with a married woman (and found out AFTER he and I reconciled & moved in together) she had gotten pg and had the kid. I found out he KNEW she was pg - threw him out on his a$$. She left her H and they moved in together; they now have and extremely toxic relationship (karma??)

 

He has contacted me on a few occasions (behind her back), which is how I know his "status." He admitted to me he checks my page EVERYDAY and so does his live in wh*re. She apparently checks my page at least 2x a day. I can assure you my life is not that exciting, yet they both seem to think they are going to miss something...That's their issue, not mine.

 

I have a FB account too and I think it's great; however, I use it how it's intended to be used. I have reconnected with numerous old friends. I use My space for the same. I am not looking for dating or serious relationships (which I might add is a joke). I believe if the sites are used for any other reasons, they are just a gateway to jealousy, self destruction, hurt and deceit.

[Misfit]

It's so coincidence this post is here. I haven't been here for awhile but I felt I needed to come by since checking up on my exes myspace. I'm so fricken depressed because of it, but this post comforted me and made me feel I have brothers and sisters carrying the same heavy cross.

[motive2002]

The unfairness of life suggests that the instant she breaks your heart into a zillion pieces, she's out there having the time of her life painting the town red and wagging her ass at every cute thing she sees.

Meanwhile you're drowning in your own salty tears, asking over and over again WHY?

 

Life can really seem like a cruel joke, but the pain will go away. Know that you are not the only one who has ever suffered this way. There are LOTS of us here that have been through the same thing.

I just wish exes had some kind of common courtesy NOT to flamboyantly display how newly single they are.. but we could only hope.

 

If you're single, and there are no kids involved, you have a lot to be grateful for. No custody fights, or decisions to be made over property and so forth. That's when things can get really ugly and you may be losing more than your stupid bimbo ex-girlfriend.

 

It sounds to me like she has a truckload of issues coming her way if she's partying that much. This just allows YOU to be the better person. Do you really want to be with a slutty barfly? I didn't think so. She's gonna make decisions that she will regret, but you know what, not your problem anymore. She's gonna be some other guy's nightmare.. while you have this opportunity to find someone with a little more class.

 

Delete the facebook thing. You're better off not being associated with trash.

[orangehose]

williamz, I've been there, in terms of not being able to understand how an ex could behave so flamboyantly giddy after a breakup. It makes you think, "did this relationship mean NOTHING to her / him?" especially when you know you were a pretty nice partner and didn't do anything wrong. I thought that sort of behavior was reserved for distraught dumpees.

 

But it's the way some dumpers handle a breakup - after making the 'courageous' decision to break, they have to justify their decision by going to see what's out there and confirming that there are plenty of opportunities and they can have fun outside the relationship.

 

I'm not trying to justify such behavior - I think it's particularly nasty to flaunt such celebratory activities in your face (as my ex did). But I think it's the way many dumpers move forward.

[Ruby Slippers]

I don't think the ex's behavior following the breakup is indicative of the feelings he/she had for you. People cope with the loss of a relationship in all kinds of ways, from becoming a hermit and living in their PJs and actually facing the loss, to having fling after fling to try to numb the pain, to moving into the next relationship almost immediately in an attempt to dilute the pain with the excitement of a new love. It's a reflection of the person, not you or his/her feelings for you.

[gwynieatpain]

I don't think the ex's behavior following the breakup is indicative of the feelings he/she had for you. People cope with the loss of a relationship in all kinds of ways, from becoming a hermit and living in their PJs and actually facing the loss, to having fling after fling to try to numb the pain, to moving into the next relationship almost immediately in an attempt to dilute the pain with the excitement of a new love. It's a reflection of the person, not you or his/her feelings for you.

 

Agreed. My ex posted over 500 photos of his crazy night out and of the exotic trip in vietam. He also hooked up with a Korean girl immediately after the break up. But whenever the girl commented on his photos or posted photo of his, he deleted them the next day. He's still with this girl though, I can tell he's not leaving me for this girl it's only the way to justify his decision. He wanted to prove himself that he's right, having a better life without this relationship ... pity.