LoveJonesRomance Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 What are the chances of the following scenario happening: 3 male friends go on vacation to Colombia during Thanksgiving. During their stay, one of the guys made friends with a local woman who runs a beauty shop he visited to get his nails done (?). Anyway, the guy is very happy with his nail work and invites the woman for dinner later that night, at the condo he shares with his two friends. He also asks the woman to bring 2 girlfriends along. Nobody knows why he did this (!). The 3 women came that evening, and all 6 of them had a wonderful dinner and conversation, after which they then said their goodbyes and left, and the guys went to sleep. How innocent. This is my BF's version of the story after I discovered several photos they took with the 3 women during their dinner with them. Yes, I snooped on his computer. Because I could not believe he took only 4 pictures in all 7 days he stayed in Colombia. Could he be telling the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
tman666 Posted December 8, 2008 Share Posted December 8, 2008 I would say that even if he is telling the truth (that it went no further than a simple dinner), I would personally feel disrespected if my girl went on a vacation without me and then proceeded to hang out on that level with strangers of the opposite sex. Why was he vacationing without you? Personally speaking as a guy, there is a strong temptation to get with girls while in foreign countries because of the misconception that what goes on there, stays there. I would be mistrustful of a girl who vacationed without me (beyond a family trip) and then hung out with strangers of the opposite sex... Then again, I'm the jealous type. Link to post Share on other sites
lkjh Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 sounds fishy. It possible they met up and did nothing but it still sounds weird. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 I guess your bf is one of the friends and not the one getting his nails done. If he has you as a gf, why does he need the female company? Since it doesn't sound like their vacation was all that long (only during Thanksgiving, you say), why can't he just hang out with his male friends for those days? If I were with 3 of my female friends and we vacationed somewhere and one of them met up with a man, and she asked if I wanted her to bring along a "guy' for me, I'd let her know that she can go on the date with her new friend and even the other friend can go with a guy she brought home. I would let her know I have a bf at home so I'm either going solo with them or they can go themselves without me. Very disrespectful of him to do this. Or do you both have the understanding that you can date others? Is it ok with you if he did go out with someone else? I'm guessing no, since you are asking advice here - just wanted to get that out there. As lkjh said, it sounds fish. Link to post Share on other sites
SueBee3490 Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Sorry - meant to say "fishy" Link to post Share on other sites
brokenboy Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 it is possible, but as a dude who's surely tried to hide stuff from previous g/f's, I'd say it's likely nothing happened (so he's not techincally lying to you), but he might have wanted or hoped something would happend... which may or may not be a problem to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveJonesRomance Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 I guess your bf is one of the friends and not the one getting his nails done. If he has you as a gf, why does he need the female company? Since it doesn't sound like their vacation was all that long (only during Thanksgiving, you say), why can't he just hang out with his male friends for those days? Yes, my BF is not the nails man, just one of the other friends. He says he doesn't know why his friends invited the woman and her 2 other friends back to the condo but decided to just play along with it. However he took a lot of pictures of one of the females, whom I believe was bought back for him. Very disrespectful of him to do this. Or do you both have the understanding that you can date others? Is it ok with you if he did go out with someone else? I'm guessing no, since you are asking advice here - just wanted to get that out there. No it's not okay for us to date other people. We are exclusively dating for 5 months now. it is possible, but as a dude who's surely tried to hide stuff from previous g/f's, I'd say it's likely nothing happened (so he's not techincally lying to you), but he might have wanted or hoped something would happend... which may or may not be a problem to you. Don't know. I doubt nothing happened, especially if the other two guys did end up with the other 2 girls. Why was he vacationing without you? Personally speaking as a guy, there is a strong temptation to get with girls while in foreign countries because of the misconception that what goes on there, stays there. This 'boys only' trip was planned and paid for, way before we started dating. We have dated for 5 months only. So bottom line is I am positive he had sex with one of the women. Casual sex. At this point, I don't know if I'm hurt, but I am very, very dissapointed. I'm not quite sure how to proceed here. Is one casual sex encounter worth breaking up a wonderful 5 months relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
JoeNat Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Yes, it is. Be thankful it is only 5 months and not 5 years. Cheating is cheating in my opinion. Unless you were broken up then he cheated on you. I hate to say it so bluntly but it is what it is... This is a classic case of bad friends. Sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveJonesRomance Posted December 9, 2008 Author Share Posted December 9, 2008 Thanks JoeNat. I agree on cheating is cheating part. I just don't understand why men do this though, destroy a long term thing for a one night stand? Perhaps he did not think I would find out. Oh, well too late now. I get more and more bitter about it as days go by. I do not think we can ever go back to normal after this. Link to post Share on other sites
Ayemtee Posted December 9, 2008 Share Posted December 9, 2008 Wait, so he did cheat on you? I'm confused. Link to post Share on other sites
MichelleS1983 Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 3 male friends go on vacation to Colombia during Thanksgiving. 3 males together doing ANYTHING is usually a red flag. But when far away from home? Lordy. During their stay, one of the guys made friends with a local woman who runs a beauty shop he visited to get his nails done (?). He's quite the metrosexual, now ain't he? He also asks the woman to bring 2 girlfriends along. Nobody knows why he did this (!). LMAO!!!!! Like hell these two other idiots "didn't know why" their friend had mysteriously asked nail girl to bring along a couple of her buddies. PLEASE. The 3 women came that evening, and all 6 of them had a wonderful dinner and conversation, after which they then said their goodbyes and left, and the guys went to sleep. LOL...ok. Why, it sounds as innocent as the Thursday evening church social. And about as believeable as me being the next president of the United States. This is my BF's version of the story after I discovered several photos they took with the 3 women during their dinner with them. Well gosh, if it was so innocent, why didn't he feel compelled to tell you about meeting some of the locals and having a wonderful evening of innocent dinner and conversation BEFORE you found his hidden pictures? I wouldn't TOUCH this guy until he gets tested for every STD known to man. God knows what kind of jungle rot he may have picked up from his 'innocent' dinner. Link to post Share on other sites
AlektraClementine Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I know it's probably hard for you to hear all of this and your boyfriend is going to give you every reason to think that you are CRAZY for suspecting anything. That will be his tactic. STDs are no joke. Ask him to be tested and tell him that you will too if he wants. Your gut is telling you something here. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted December 10, 2008 Share Posted December 10, 2008 I got news for you; those girls were undoubtedly prostitutes or looking for gringos to get them out of the country. For the last years, I have EXTENSIVE business in Panama, Columbia, and neighboring countries. And my nowEx/business partner had similar "interactions" with such girls. I found out AFTER we broke up that he had several girls and in every case, these girls ended up calling and writing and begging my Ex to marry them so they could get out of the country. You have no idea how much experience I have in this regard; he and I would bring guys down to Panama to party and every-bloody-time, the girls were looking for gringos to help them get to a better life. The evenings were NEVER innocent. Link to post Share on other sites
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