To Tony:You were right

[Lisa]

Tony

 

You were right when you said that even 2 people who agree to remain friends after a relationship ends have difficulty socializing together immediately after the break up.

 

It has now been 3 weeks since my bf and I broke up and I have not seen him at all. He has been very "busy" with work during the day and helping a friend repair his car in the evenings. Which is all fine with me because I am also not eager to run into him, which kind of surprises me.

 

While I think this avoidance is for the best, I think it is a shame that 2 adults cannot go about freely to their rgular haunts without the fear of running into the other. But it does get better with time.

 

The problem with not seeing each other is that 2 things can happen: one of us will begin to miss the other more and more (absence makes the heart grow fonder). Or, out of sight out of mind. For me, it is out of sight, out of mind. The less I see of someone, the less I think of them and miss them.

 

I admit that there are times I think of him and miss him, but less and less often.

 

And the thing I most want to say is: thank you for your advice. In your advice to someone else you wrote that if you have to "fix" someone it may not be worth it. And also that you cannot make someone love you by being around them a lot.

 

You give great advice Tony. I have appreciated it.

[Tony T]

I really do appreciate the kind words and I am glad things are going well for you. Breaking up is very difficult for people to endure under the best of circumstances and there is no magic formula for getting through it.

 

In the majority of cases, it is so much better not to see each other for a period of time. In the long run, the relationship is memorialized in the love we shared during the time we were together, the good memories we store in the hard drive of our soul, and the lessons we learn that make love easier and more joyous for us to experience in the future.

 

All the best to you!!!

[Guest]

Great advice you gave Tony. I wish I had known you were out there to tak to about 4 weeks ago. I didn't know which way to deal with it after my girlfriend and I broke up. I decided on my own that out of sight out of mind was the best thing for me after trying to change her mind and by being around her as much as possible for the first week and a half. It doesn't work and I found out the hard way. I feel much better now and am just trying to move on.

 

Steve

[Nicky]

Great advice you gave Tony. I wish I had known you were out there to tak to about 4 weeks ago. I didn't know which way to deal with it after my girlfriend and I broke up. I decided on my own that out of sight out of mind was the best thing for me after trying to change her mind and by being around her as much as possible for the first week and a half. It doesn't work and I found out the hard way. I feel much better now and am just trying to move on.

Actually, its not so uncommon to have dreams where you imagine making love to somebody.

 

People who interpret dreams say that it should not always be interpreted as sexual. Dreams are all about symbolism, and sexual dreams can represent creativity and all sorts of things, as opposed to "I want to have sex with him".

[Tony T]

Nicky's information below, which is an excellent take on the problem, I believe is in answer to Sandy's post above relating to sex and dreams.

Actually, its not so uncommon to have dreams where you imagine making love to somebody. People who interpret dreams say that it should not always be interpreted as sexual. Dreams are all about symbolism, and sexual dreams can represent creativity and all sorts of things, as opposed to "I want to have sex with him".

[Nicky]

Nicky's information below, which is an excellent take on the problem, I believe is in answer to Sandy's post above relating to sex and dreams.