dealing with the pain

[pushforward]

No one is worth injuring yourself over. EVER. You need to learn to love yourself. The last self-help type book I read that I found to be helpful was "The Four Agreements" by Don Miguel Ruiz. I suggest you check it out if you haven't already. And you can't put a time table on how long it will take you to heal or "get over" this. You'll know soon enough. Check www.coda.org there might be meetings near you. I, myself, have yet to go to one of those meetings, although I know I probably should. It wouldn't hurt.

 

pushforward: DON'T DO IT! Checking her myspace will only send you back spiraling down that deep, dark road of depression. Hell, I'm on here to keep myself from checking my now-estranged-husband's facebook/email.... It's workin so far!

 

Doing my best not to. The urge is crazy right now. It's bad that I'm at work and cannot get up. I have access to the net and I'm too good at multitasking. Trying to distract myself from it. Just going to wait it out.

[EmperorR]

Block her from myspace

[pushforward]

Block her from myspace

 

I blocked her on everything. I just have weak moments where I need support. Blocking her doesn't do anything. I have a firefox extension that blocks her page specifically and if I try to google anything that has to do with her.

 

The thing is, I can just disable the addon or just go on internet explorer and bypass it completely.

 

I'm trying really hard to not break. I don't want to do it. I don't know why I want to check. Trying to beat a love addiction.

 

=/

[stoneymirror]

pushforward, get a hold of yourself, stop beating yourself up. Get a song in your head or something and keep repeating it. This is a huge test of self control. Realize it's a challenge and try and make a real effort to defeat it. You need to want to defeat this and you will. Ups and Downs, it's how it's gonna be for a lil while. Realize this too and hold back. Everytime you look in that peep hole on that door that closed behind you, all you're doing is hurting yourself. Resist the urge. Keep re-reading my posts. You know it, I know it, this ex of yours isn't worth your time. Your ex will never be the person you want them to be. You have to accept that NOW, and keep telling yourself that... Good luck today. Stay focused on the prize. A new shiney gf, but you can't have it until you accept the past is over.

[pushforward]

pushforward, get a hold of yourself, stop beating yourself up. Get a song in your head or something and keep repeating it. This is a huge test of self control. Realize it's a challenge and try and make a real effort to defeat it. You need to want to defeat this and you will. Ups and Downs, it's how it's gonna be for a lil while. Realize this too and hold back. Everytime you look in that peep hole on that door that closed behind you, all you're doing is hurting yourself. Resist the urge. Keep re-reading my posts. You know it, I know it, this ex of yours isn't worth your time. Your ex will never be the person you want them to be. You have to accept that NOW, and keep telling yourself that... Good luck today. Stay focused on the prize. A new shiney gf, but you can't have it until you accept the past is over.

 

Keeping strong, doing my best. I don't know why these urges come and stay. Each time they come back, they seem worse and worse. I don't break, I just go post and wait for replies and wait it out.

 

I really don't want to hurt myself anymore. I don't want to throw away a month and a half of strict NC. I really am determined to get through this, it hurts and I know it will hurt. I'm just posting for comfort, finding strength in that I am not alone and people will encourage me with my decision of NC.

 

Thanks,

[stoneymirror]

we're here for you man. I know how tough it is, but that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You'll get through this, and you'll look back someday and wonder what the hell you were thinking. Again keep telling yourself you couldn't or wouldn't ever want to get back with this person cause they lost your trust when they broke up with you.

 

I've been in many LTR's and I can honestly say, I've gotten back together with at least 3 of them after a breakup. And do you know how many of those worked out. ZERO.

 

As hard as it is to accept things are over, it's something you have to come to terms with. You may have been burnt and it's even tougher to regain that confidence when that sort of thing happens, but know in your heart that you deserve much better. And there's many girls out there dying to be with you. Why waste anymore time with someone who obviously doesn't appreciate you.

 

Would you give your child a reward for doing something wrong? I think not. So why would you ever consider rewarding your ex with your love again, after she's already done you wrong? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

Even if she comes running back to you, wanting you back, rest assured it's for her own selfish reasons and has nothing to do with how you'd be effected by it. Remember this ex of yours was selfish, what between the time you broke up and now has she learned. Probably nothing.

 

Hang tough my friend, you'll see you'll come out on top. Use what you learned in the last relationship and improve on yourself for the next one.

 

Lastly I like to think of relationships in terms of cars. Imagine you own a really nice classic vehicle, you've owned if for many years and you've poured your heart into this thing. But now it's costing you more liabilities than it's worth. So do you want to pour more money into a car that's gonna keep giving you problems, or would you opt to buy a new car in hopes of having something a bit more relaiable.

 

Now go get some...

[pushforward]

we're here for you man. I know how tough it is, but that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You'll get through this, and you'll look back someday and wonder what the hell you were thinking. Again keep telling yourself you couldn't or wouldn't ever want to get back with this person cause they lost your trust when they broke up with you.

 

I've been in many LTR's and I can honestly say, I've gotten back together with at least 3 of them after a breakup. And do you know how many of those worked out. ZERO.

 

As hard as it is to accept things are over, it's something you have to come to terms with. You may have been burnt and it's even tougher to regain that confidence when that sort of thing happens, but know in your heart that you deserve much better. And there's many girls out there dying to be with you. Why waste anymore time with someone who obviously doesn't appreciate you.

 

Would you give your child a reward for doing something wrong? I think not. So why would you ever consider rewarding your ex with your love again, after she's already done you wrong? Doesn't make sense to me.

 

Even if she comes running back to you, wanting you back, rest assured it's for her own selfish reasons and has nothing to do with how you'd be effected by it. Remember this ex of yours was selfish, what between the time you broke up and now has she learned. Probably nothing.

 

Hang tough my friend, you'll see you'll come out on top. Use what you learned in the last relationship and improve on yourself for the next one.

 

Lastly I like to think of relationships in terms of cars. Imagine you own a really nice classic vehicle, you've owned if for many years and you've poured your heart into this thing. But now it's costing you more liabilities than it's worth. So do you want to pour more money into a car that's gonna keep giving you problems, or would you opt to buy a new car in hopes of having something a bit more relaiable.

 

Now go get some...

 

Thanks, you give really sound advice. She is no longer that person I adore. I know I can never take her back. Not how she betrayed me. I have a hard time believing what happened, I'm not in denial. I'm just shocked at how people can change in an instant. No doubt, I will become a better person because of this. I think the pain has put me closer to God and in touch with humanity. Through pain we grow, right?

 

Not sure when it will happen, but I look forward to love finding me again.

 

By the way, what's your story, if you don't mind me asking

[stoneymirror]

my story can be summed up in two words. IT'S OVER...

 

But really if you really want to know here's how it went down:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170757/

[EmperorR]

stonymirror I wish you were around when I was going through my situation your advice is amazing.

[stoneymirror]

in the 6 weeks since my breakup I've discovered a lot of things.

 

- I don't need to be with someone who'll drop me like a bad habit, who placates me and lies to my face, who's insecure, who's not open to communication, who doesn't take any responsibility and turns everything around on me, who's plays games and I definately don't need to be with someone who doesn't respect and appreciate me.

 

I deserve much better than this, someone who'll actually love me, respect me, and is thoughtful and caring.

 

Of course I'm pulling all the negatives out right now, but that's what I've been focusing on and repeating to myself to get over this. Of course I had a great time with this girl. And part of me still doesn't want to let her go, but I know it's for the best cause really I can't ever let her do this to me again. If she would have really love me things would have been much different. And she wouldn't have walked out on me and instead tried working through it.

 

She gave up, and basically I accepted it cause there was no point in trying to fight for it any longer. You can't make someone love you, and care for you the way you deserve, either they do it, or they don't. And as much as I never saw this coming it opened my eyes to the fact this ex of mine hasn't been honest with me at all. I'll never go back to someone like that. How could I ever trust her again with my heart. I would have to be insane to let her do this to me again.

[pushforward]

my story can be summed up in two words. IT'S OVER...

 

But really if you really want to know here's how it went down:

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t170757/

 

Comparing yourself now and then, there is a huge difference. I don't know why I can't be in that same position as you. I am blinded by love. I don't know why I love her more than myself, this is bothering me. Urges of breaking NC by checking her myspace. Ew, I want more dignity and self respect for myself.

 

Feeling disgusted and want to move on. The healing process is a long and tedious journey.

[stoneymirror]

I'm where I am today, cause I didn't hold back. I picked myself up and really told myself to get over it. I had a great support network of friends, and family. They were there for me at all times of the day to talk. I basically rekindled some friendships I let deminish a bit, and started feeling better about myself. I did all those things I couldn't do when I was in the relationship. I was always tied down, doing things for her and neglected both friends and my own hobbies. It's crazy seeing what I gave up for this relationship and now I'm back working on my car and playing guitar like I use to. Keeping busy... But the biggest kick in the butt came from my parents, who bascially pushed me to get out there and meet new women. And as much as I kept trying to resist, saying I wasn't ready, blah, blah, blah, they kept telling me to wake up and smell the roses. So I did. And getting out and meeting this new girl has been the best decision I ever made.

 

So I meet this girl at a coffe shop and basically talked for almost 4 hrs. It was almost like this was all meant to be. I thank God for everything he's given me, and obviously this all happened for a reason. So weird how things work out sometimes.

 

And it was during this 4 hr encounter that I realized I hadn't thought about my ex once. It was at that moment when I realized I didn't need my ex anymore. I met someone new, who actually wanted to be with me. Who smiled when I smiled and was genuinly happy being with me. And that was a wonderful feeling cause before I had all these doubts about being able to meet anyone, and gettin over being hurt, etc. The woman of your dreams is out there waiting for you. Trust me, it's not your ex...

 

So now I've been out with this girl on 3 dates. We layed everything out on the line and basically told each other everything about our past relationships. I can't tell you what a relief it was to hear she was constantly running into these same sort of issues as I had. Long story short, we discovered we're both very much a like. Our personalities and how we carry ourselves is so similar that it kinda freaked us out. We were both like, are you serious. I've never met anyone like this. I have dated women who've I've shared interests with, but no where near this level.

 

So what helped me the most would have been the gettin out and asking someone out. I feel really lucky I met this girl when I did, cause if I would have waited any longer I would have never met her. Don't let the opportunity of a life time pass you by. Ask yourself if you really want to give your ex your well being, your happiness, and your future. Cause even though the ex isn't around anymore she still has complete control over you. Not really, this is all within your own power, but you're doing it to yourself. You have to see. Longer you stew over the ex the longer it's gonna take to get over her.

[pushforward]

I'm where I am today, cause I didn't hold back. I picked myself up and really told myself to get over it. I had a great support network of friends, and family. They were there for me at all times of the day to talk. I basically rekindled some friendships I let deminish a bit, and started feeling better about myself. I did all those things I couldn't do when I was in the relationship. I was always tied down, doing things for her and neglected both friends and my own hobbies. It's crazy seeing what I gave up for this relationship and now I'm back working on my car and playing guitar like I use to. Keeping busy... But the biggest kick in the butt came from my parents, who bascially pushed me to get out there and meet new women. And as much as I kept trying to resist, saying I wasn't ready, blah, blah, blah, they kept telling me to wake up and smell the roses. So I did. And getting out and meeting this new girl has been the best decision I ever made.

 

So I meet this girl at a coffe shop and basically talked for almost 4 hrs. It was almost like this was all meant to be. I thank God for everything he's given me, and obviously this all happened for a reason. So weird how things work out sometimes.

 

And it was during this 4 hr encounter that I realized I hadn't thought about my ex once. It was at that moment when I realized I didn't need my ex anymore. I met someone new, who actually wanted to be with me. Who smiled when I smiled and was genuinly happy being with me. And that was a wonderful feeling cause before I had all these doubts about being able to meet anyone, and gettin over being hurt, etc. The woman of your dreams is out there waiting for you. Trust me, it's not your ex...

 

So now I've been out with this girl on 3 dates. We layed everything out on the line and basically told each other everything about our past relationships. I can't tell you what a relief it was to hear she was constantly running into these same sort of issues as I had. Long story short, we discovered we're both very much a like. Our personalities and how we carry ourselves is so similar that it kinda freaked us out. We were both like, are you serious. I've never met anyone like this. I have dated women who've I've shared interests with, but no where near this level.

 

So what helped me the most would have been the gettin out and asking someone out. I feel really lucky I met this girl when I did, cause if I would have waited any longer I would have never met her. Don't let the opportunity of a life time pass you by. Ask yourself if you really want to give your ex your well being, your happiness, and your future. Cause even though the ex isn't around anymore she still has complete control over you. Not really, this is all within your own power, but you're doing it to yourself. You have to see. Longer you stew over the ex the longer it's gonna take to get over her.

 

I see. I don't know, I never dealt with this type of extreme pain before. Well break up wise this is my first, but losing somebody I loved, that's happened many times. I guess I haven't dealt with that properly. I've been going out just casually, nothing romantic. I think I need to spend some time and connect with my spirituality and develop a deeper sense of my humanity.

 

I don't think it's fair that I still have my ex in my heart and to date around. I think I'd do more harm than good to myself. She isn't the only girl out there, but I'd like to heal and not just jump from healing to dating. I don't think I'm ready, maybe I'm guarding my heart too closely now.

 

Any advice for 1st heart break? Haha.

[EmperorR]

the hardest thing for me letting go I know it was dumb was that oh she was so smart and sexy, but screw it. What's weird I always used to care about looks going after the model types etc., now the girl Im talking to now is just average looking, but it's lie theres something more, im so attracted to her, I've never felt like this in a long time, hell not even with my ex.

 

 

 

 

Just take things slow push forward, trust me when you least expect it you'll find someone better than your ex. Contacting her will be the worst thing, don't look at her facebook myspace, ims etc., don't bring her up with mutual friends. What I did what really helped me was reading it took my mind off things. Although your in pain etc., realize theres billions of people worse off than you, you have shelter, food, clothes, good health, just a little heartbreak;).

 

Continue NC, and every day you will feel a little better I promise I was in your shoes, I know how it felt, i broke nc so much and i was just getting breadcrumbs, I finally did NC for good thinking it would bring my cheating ex back but it didn't then I didn't care about her anymore everything was going good. And then she texts me on what would be 3 years like the date is still important to her:rolleyes:. That was the last time I got anything from her October 21, it's been month not a text im or email and it's been great.

 

I still think of her sometimes, I mean she was my first love, but with this love is blind goggles off I see her for what she is. Ya she's pretty, smart, but that's it. She's immature, a whore, puts herself first in every situation, was always cranky bickering, was so jealous made me gave up all my friends, would always check my phone to see if I was texting other women, would always check my bank and credit card statements to make sure I wasn't spending foolishly, even thogh I was the only one working. Hell I had to wear a ring and we weren't married yet so other girls wouldn't try to talk to me. But love blinded me I thought everything was great I was happy etc., but looking back how long would that last, I was basically her slave her doormat, and that's now ay for me to live.

 

 

I won't lie ya i miss her, if she came running back to me, if I wasn't falling for this new chick who knows what I would do I won't lie, but I realize unless she makes major major changes in her life which she obviously won't because she's always right to herself, she'll always be like this. Hell she cheated on me and even told me when she dumped me she'll probably cheat on her new bf when she goes back to europe next summer and will see the guy that she cheated on me with. I feel sorry for her new bf but hey it's his problem not mine.

 

Stay strong you dodged a bullet my friend, women like these NEVER CHANGE

[stoneymirror]

first heart breaks are the hardest to get over. Either you nail it in the butt or you're gonna get nailed. Get a pair and get out there. You're using excuses like I did not to move on. STOP IT. You're just saying what you want to hear cause part of you still can't let go. All you;re holding onto right now are memories. Part of you only wants to get back together so you can regain your confidence. You want this girl back for all the wrong reasons trust me. But if you want to sulk in your own misery and tell yourself "I'm not ready" then go for it. I will bet you right now a $1,000 that in 5 yrs from now you'll be looking back and kicking yourself for not moving on. Put it this way, you have to move on, why would you delay it any further? Pushforward you really need a swift kick in the nards. Go out rent Swinger's the movie and maybe that'll shed some light on what you're doing to yourself. Good luck, I'm here to help

[EmperorR]

Swinger's the movie

 

 

[pushforward]

first heart breaks are the hardest to get over. Either you nail it in the butt or you're gonna get nailed. Get a pair and get out there. You're using excuses like I did not to move on. STOP IT. You're just saying what you want to hear cause part of you still can't let go. All you;re holding onto right now are memories. Part of you only wants to get back together so you can regain your confidence. You want this girl back for all the wrong reasons trust me. But if you want to sulk in your own misery and tell yourself "I'm not ready" then go for it. I will bet you right now a $1,000 that in 5 yrs from now you'll be looking back and kicking yourself for not moving on. Put it this way, you have to move on, why would you delay it any further? Pushforward you really need a swift kick in the nards. Go out rent Swinger's the movie and maybe that'll shed some light on what you're doing to yourself. Good luck, I'm here to help

 

I've seen it. I'm making too many excuses for myself. I guess I'm taking this rejection too personal and afraid what would happen if I got rejected again. I guess no pain, no gain. I dunno, a month after the break up, I slept with a cute girl, but couldn't finish. That's what I'm really afraid of, not living up to my sexual drive. Which was huge, now, is as a little as can be. I don't like having my penis connected to my heart.

 

=/

[stoneymirror]

Pushforward now is the time to Have fun. but u tell urself ur broken, stop believing that crap thats comin out of ur mouth. i can't tell u this enough whatever u tell urself is always true. someone besides me, this cyber dork, and ur friends and family, needs to tell u that YOU'RE MONEY.

 

u laid some pipe? good to hear bro. take some reassurance and tell ur self ur money. you know it. and so what if u didn't finish, u aren't afraid to let it be known here. so whats the big deal? stop dating palmala handerson for a wk and tell me if u still have problems.

 

dude this ex did u a favor u just don't see it yet. gettin wrapped up in ur own mind, manipulating things, talkin to ur self about things u may have done wrong, blah blah blah. this is a classic example of mild ocd bro. its a repetative ritual that u can't stop processing , you think the more u do it the better it'll make u feel. unfortunately these r all negative thoughts sourounded by fear. you've gone scared yourself dumb. yeah we all do it, very normal right. but recognizin it is something all in itself. whats more important ? having this ex back, or having urself back. obviously u lost urself in this chik, okay but thats something u have to leave behind. she was the worser half. you'll rebuild ur other half in no time. one second? one minute one day at a time. know thyself as socrates put it. know ur weaknesses and be relentless as conquering them. if u can take one positive thing from all this it's to say i was able to pick myself up and move on. i didn't let that bizzo ruin another day of my life. hey remember u only got one, live it to the fullest

[pushforward]

Pushforward now is the time to Have fun. but u tell urself ur broken, stop believing that crap thats comin out of ur mouth. i can't tell u this enough whatever u tell urself is always true. someone besides me, this cyber dork, and ur friends and family, needs to tell u that YOU'RE MONEY.

 

u laid some pipe? good to hear bro. take some reassurance and tell ur self ur money. you know it. and so what if u didn't finish, u aren't afraid to let it be known here. so whats the big deal? stop dating palmala handerson for a wk and tell me if u still have problems.

 

dude this ex did u a favor u just don't see it yet. gettin wrapped up in ur own mind, manipulating things, talkin to ur self about things u may have done wrong, blah blah blah. this is a classic example of mild ocd bro. its a repetative ritual that u can't stop processing , you think the more u do it the better it'll make u feel. unfortunately these r all negative thoughts sourounded by fear. you've gone scared yourself dumb. yeah we all do it, very normal right. but recognizin it is something all in itself. whats more important ? having this ex back, or having urself back. obviously u lost urself in this chik, okay but thats something u have to leave behind. she was the worser half. you'll rebuild ur other half in no time. one second? one minute one day at a time. know thyself as socrates put it. know ur weaknesses and be relentless as conquering them. if u can take one positive thing from all this it's to say i was able to pick myself up and move on. i didn't let that bizzo ruin another day of my life. hey remember u only got one, live it to the fullest

 

Will do boss, your posts help me a lot. I tell myself all of this and I don't know why I feel my own voice isn't validated. I guess part of me still wants her back, I need to beat that fool with a bat, until he gives up hope. As we kissed goodbye, I could taste every lie. I just refused to believe that this is the person I once loved.

 

Life works in mysterious ways. I'll come back tomorrow, hopefully feeling better!

 

Thanks stoney.

[Surfer Dude]

Will do boss, your posts help me a lot. I tell myself all of this and I don't know why I feel my own voice isn't validated. I guess part of me still wants her back, I need to beat that fool with a bat, until he gives up hope. As we kissed goodbye, I could taste every lie. I just refused to believe that this is the person I once loved.

 

Life works in mysterious ways. I'll come back tomorrow, hopefully feeling better!

 

Thanks stoney.

 

It's because it's not the same person you loved. You loved a woman you believed she was, not who she really is. People show their truest face only after breakup.

 

When people just meet and start their new relationship, they are usually on their best behavior and put up various masks and facades. After a while you get to know them better and you see changes in behavior, i.e. what you see is more in accordance with who they really are. When they dump you, they have no obligations left towards you and people behave the way they would behave if there were no moral or societal repercussions for their actions, you finally see their true face then, the essence of their soul.

 

You will feel better bro, it's just a matter of time.

[pushforward]

It's because it's not the same person you loved. You loved a woman you believed she was, not who she really is. People show their truest face only after breakup.

 

When people just meet and start their new relationship, they are usually on their best behavior and put up various masks and facades. After a while you get to know them better and you see changes in behavior, i.e. what you see is more in accordance with who they really are. When they dump you, they have no obligations left towards you and people behave the way they would behave if there were no moral or societal repercussions for their actions, you finally see their true face then, the essence of their soul.

 

You will feel better bro, it's just a matter of time.

 

Thanks, she was good at lying for a year and a half then. I can't wait to feel better, I'm such a good person, it scares me that somebody can leave me. Haha, I'm too nice for my own good. Lesson learned, when somebody says goodbye, wave goodbye back and be on your merry way. Still trying to fight the hurt, I feel much better today though. The advice and support I've been given is worth more than it's weight in gold.

 

Thanks surfer.

[pushforward]

Doing my best to keep my head up. Couldn't deal with the pain. Had to go to the restroom, crank a sad song and get teary eyed. My head hurts, still trying to process all of this. I don't know where all that energy from earlier went. Being positive, now being sad. I just wish I could stay at a normal level. I'm usually the happiest guy around. Now, I'm the saddest.

 

I need to pick myself up.

 

A little help anyone?

[pushforward]

I don't want her to make a fool out of me. Part of me still wants to contact her. That part is an idiot and outrageous buffoon. He needs to shut up and get out of my head. For some reason he wants to contact her and argue. Ugh, this is LAME.

 

Too bad I'm at work or I could just be playing video games or reading to be distracting me. Instead, I lurk here and on other forums to kill my time. I need to get back out there and date!

[Surfer Dude]

Doing my best to keep my head up. Couldn't deal with the pain. Had to go to the restroom, crank a sad song and get teary eyed. My head hurts, still trying to process all of this. I don't know where all that energy from earlier went. Being positive, now being sad. I just wish I could stay at a normal level. I'm usually the happiest guy around. Now, I'm the saddest.

 

I need to pick myself up.

 

A little help anyone?

 

Crying and being said is ok, let it out. I couldn't stop getting teary eyes for days. It's all perfectly normal, we've all been through that, you will feel better!

It's just impossible to make this pain go away instantly, if that happened it would mean you never truly loved her. It takes time, take it easy and just try to bear with it for a while longer. It'll pass.

 

And don't even think of contacting her, you know that nothing good could come out of that. Your gut feeling is right, staying in touch with her wouldn't end well and it wouldn't benefit you in any way.

 

When we consider breaking NC, we think that we might alleviate some pain by talking to our ex, but in the end you just end up being even more miserable and angry at yourself.

 

Too bad I'm at work or I could just be playing video games or reading to be distracting me. Instead, I lurk here and on other forums to kill my time. I need to get back out there and date!

I know how you feel, sitting in the office for 8+ hours in the post breakup period is extremely depressing. I'm totally ready to date, but I'm not willing to waste my time on some worthless douchebag, I'm currently checking out the dating scene and trying to find some high quality women

[pushforward]

Crying and being said is ok, let it out. I couldn't stop getting teary eyes for days. It's all perfectly normal, we've all been through that, you will feel better!

It's just impossible to make this pain go away instantly, if that happened it would mean you never truly loved her. It takes time, take it easy and just try to bear with it for a while longer. It'll pass.

 

And don't even think of contacting her, you know that nothing good could come out of that. Your gut feeling is right, staying in touch with her wouldn't end well and it wouldn't benefit you in any way.

 

I know what's right in my gut and heart. Love isn't anything like it is in the movies. It's much more complicating and painful. I don't want this to be unrequited. Need to learn to love myself and let go.

 

When we consider breaking NC, we think that we might alleviate some pain by talking to our ex, but in the end you just end up being even more miserable and angry at yourself.

 

I know how you feel, sitting in the office for 8+ hours in the post breakup period is extremely depressing. I'm totally ready to date, but I'm not willing to waste my time on some worthless douchebag, I'm currently checking out the dating scene and trying to find some high quality women

 

Yeah, I know about the temporary feeling of normal. It's best that I go through the most pain now and not have to deal with it later. Speaking to her will not do anything good, just another delay and setback in my healing process. These urges manifest from any little thing. I guess I really did love her a lot. That's sad. I only hope one day to have that feeling reciprocated.