dealing with the pain

[stoneymirror]

pushforward let me see your nads, cause I'm gonna punch the living crap out of them. but really dude, this ex is a f-ing loser, we all know it. You want to get back together with a lier? do you hear yourself? if I were you, I'd get up off your butt, go work out or something and pick some girls up. Hell go on some dating sites and hook up for some coffee or something simple. everyday you let go by and you don't move forward is a day you've lost forever over this asshat of a ex gf. if you died tomorrow would this be the way you'd like to spend your last day? Screw her and screw her immature, flaky, stubborn, dumbass personality. This girl is gonna get a wake up call one of these days, unfortunately she'll probably be 45 yrs old have two kids, smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and live in a trailer park down by the river. Trust me pushforward there's this thing called Karma, what goes around comes around. God or whomever will deal with her in his own time. Just rest assured she ain't movin up in life. She's a loser and will always be a loser until she realizes how self centered she is. Oh well those people are out there and you unfortunately fell victim to a lying loser. be done with her, and tell yourself you're never going back. you definately don't need this girl, she's bad not only for you, but also bad for any other guys dating her. She'll probably call you someday and you can pick up and tell her to F off.

[EmperorR]

Thanks, she was good at lying for a year and a half then. I can't wait to feel better, I'm such a good person, it scares me that somebody can leave me. Haha, I'm too nice for my own good. Lesson learned, when somebody says goodbye, wave goodbye back and be on your merry way. Still trying to fight the hurt, I feel much better today though. The advice and support I've been given is worth more than it's weight in gold.

 

Thanks surfer.

 

ah thats all i wish i could go back to when she told me she cheated on me, and just say have a nice life and go into NC from that day, instead of crying begging pleading with her fo rlike 2 weeks

[pushforward]

pushforward let me see your nads, cause I'm gonna punch the living crap out of them. but really dude, this ex is a f-ing loser, we all know it. You want to get back together with a lier? do you hear yourself? if I were you, I'd get up off your butt, go work out or something and pick some girls up. Hell go on some dating sites and hook up for some coffee or something simple. everyday you let go by and you don't move forward is a day you've lost forever over this asshat of a ex gf. if you died tomorrow would this be the way you'd like to spend your last day? Screw her and screw her immature, flaky, stubborn, dumbass personality. This girl is gonna get a wake up call one of these days, unfortunately she'll probably be 45 yrs old have two kids, smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and live in a trailer park down by the river. Trust me pushforward there's this thing called Karma, what goes around comes around. God or whomever will deal with her in his own time. Just rest assured she ain't movin up in life. She's a loser and will always be a loser until she realizes how self centered she is. Oh well those people are out there and you unfortunately fell victim to a lying loser. be done with her, and tell yourself you're never going back. you definately don't need this girl, she's bad not only for you, but also bad for any other guys dating her. She'll probably call you someday and you can pick up and tell her to F off.

 

No need to worry, I changed my number long ago. Deserve better than this. You're right. I'm being a female dog right now. I need to pick myself up. These up and downs BLOW. I just wish karma would take over now... =/

 

She's living the good life, while I heal. I am hitting up the gym and doing everything I can to improve. I need to realize she is a loser and take her off the pedestal. She's going no where, she's a nobody.

 

Thanks for the pick me up. Having a down day, but when you post something, I feel much better. Haha. You should be my NC buddy LOL.

[LikeCharlotte]

PF, sometimes the only way forward is through. You just have to go through all of this. There is no shame in really feeling grief. There are no easy answers. Remember to eat and sleep. Reach out to friends. cry when you feel it, yell when you feel it... just keep your eye on the light at the end and know you WILL get through it. When you get there you can meet someone better for you and you will be much stronger. You might not see it now but going through grief will really help you learn about yourself. LS is always here. It was for me and is for many others.

 

Do whatever you think feels right for you. If it helps I'll share, there were days when I stayed on LS until I thought my eyes would come out just to feel like I wasn't alone. Other times I just made inane lists of things that made me angry or sad... or things that i wanted to do before I died... or songs I love. I had a trash day where I deleted and threw away all the memories. Whatever it is that will work for you will make itself known and LSers have no shortage of suggestions! Hang on. It will get better, of that there is no doubt.

[EmperorR]

No need to worry, I changed my number long ago. Deserve better than this. You're right. I'm being a female dog right now. I need to pick myself up. These up and downs BLOW. I just wish karma would take over now... =/

 

She's living the good life, while I heal. I am hitting up the gym and doing everything I can to improve. I need to realize she is a loser and take her off the pedestal. She's going no where, she's a nobody.

 

Thanks for the pick me up. Having a down day, but when you post something, I feel much better. Haha. You should be my NC buddy LOL.

 

 

she'll get it one day man don't worry

[Just_dealin_with_it]

I wish I had Stoney around when I was at my worst. Right on brotherman!! I cracked up at some of the lines, but it is all true and heartfelt. Everything he is saying is right on. Pushforward, I couldn't imagine better advice to give anyone in your position than the advice given up and down this post. It's been therapeutic to me. Only you can take control of this situation. Unfortunately, only time will heal you, but the amount of time is, in part, on your shoulders. In many ways you decide how long you'll feel like this. You just have to push yourself even while you feel like crap, to want to feel better. This is your time. Make the best of it. If you have to, print out your favorite parts of stoneymirror's posts and read them whenever you're having your worst moments to remind you of the way you should be thinking in terms of letting go and feeling good again.

[pushforward]

PF, sometimes the only way forward is through. You just have to go through all of this. There is no shame in really feeling grief. There are no easy answers. Remember to eat and sleep. Reach out to friends. cry when you feel it, yell when you feel it... just keep your eye on the light at the end and know you WILL get through it. When you get there you can meet someone better for you and you will be much stronger. You might not see it now but going through grief will really help you learn about yourself. LS is always here. It was for me and is for many others.

 

Do whatever you think feels right for you. If it helps I'll share, there were days when I stayed on LS until I thought my eyes would come out just to feel like I wasn't alone. Other times I just made inane lists of things that made me angry or sad... or things that i wanted to do before I died... or songs I love. I had a trash day where I deleted and threw away all the memories. Whatever it is that will work for you will make itself known and LSers have no shortage of suggestions! Hang on. It will get better, of that there is no doubt.

 

I pray that it does get better. I had to get up extra early today to make up being late for work yesterday. Didn't have enough time to get something to eat or make something for lunch. I'm tired from yesterday's choir practice. Not sure if I should eat at lunch or sleep. Really drained, emotionally and physically. Constantly fighting the good fight.

 

she'll get it one day man don't worry

 

Part of me wishes she did and another part of me wishes she didn't. It's not the best to wish somebody the worse. That's not me. Unfortunately, what she did, I still want to see her hurt. As much as I do sometimes. Need to take the focus off her and put it back into me.

 

I wish I had Stoney around when I was at my worst. Right on brotherman!! I cracked up at some of the lines, but it is all true and heartfelt. Everything he is saying is right on. Pushforward, I couldn't imagine better advice to give anyone in your position than the advice given up and down this post. It's been therapeutic to me. Only you can take control of this situation. Unfortunately, only time will heal you, but the amount of time is, in part, on your shoulders. In many ways you decide how long you'll feel like this. You just have to push yourself even while you feel like crap, to want to feel better. This is your time. Make the best of it. If you have to, print out your favorite parts of stoneymirror's posts and read them whenever you're having your worst moments to remind you of the way you should be thinking in terms of letting go and feeling good again.

 

What's your story and how long did it take for you to feel better, or get over it? I want words from people who are further along the healing process than I. I need hope to feel better and to get better. Taking it one day at a time.

[Surfer Dude]

I pray that it does get better. I had to get up extra early today to make up being late for work yesterday. Didn't have enough time to get something to eat or make something for lunch. I'm tired from yesterday's choir practice. Not sure if I should eat at lunch or sleep. Really drained, emotionally and physically. Constantly fighting the good fight.

 

Part of me wishes she did and another part of me wishes she didn't. It's not the best to wish somebody the worse. That's not me. Unfortunately, what she did, I still want to see her hurt. As much as I do sometimes. Need to take the focus off her and put it back into me.

 

What's your story and how long did it take for you to feel better, or get over it? I want words from people who are further along the healing process than I. I need hope to feel better and to get better. Taking it one day at a time.

 

You need to find out scenarios and situations that get you in a bad mood, that make you think about her or get you depressed.

 

For example, I know I'll start obsessing about her and her new bf if I'm hungry, tired, bored or something like that. As long as I have something to do (whether it's working on a project or just gaming online) and I feel comfy, I don't give a rat's ass about her.

 

Find out when exactly you feel bad and then try to avoid those situations and places.

 

24 days NC today, feeling better than ever. Thank God she's out of my life, that selfish little whore.

[stoneymirror]

Pushforward, you're getting there buddy. Each day your posts are getting more and more positive and your brain seems to be working now, and your heart looks like it's taking a break from all this crap. Everyday it'll get a little better. You may not see it, but we do.

 

But again bro, I can't urge you enough to get out there and just meet someone. Ask someone out from your gym. Go up to a girl, say Hi and tell her you never say her here before and ask if she's new to the area. Bam, you're in. See how easy that is. So get out there, and use this time as practice. Don't hold yourself up on this ex. You don't need her. And what you want isn't even her. It's this image you have of this ex that's totally blown out of proportion. If I were you'd I'd just start getting MAD. This ex was a conartist and you want to give her more of your heart to destroy? Reality check bro. She's turning you CRAZY... let me refraise that, YOU'RE MAKING YOURSELF CRAZY.

 

But really, use this time to challenge yourself even more. Go out on a limb and talk to some women. Now is the time to get your crap straight, so the next relationship can be that much better. Realize there are better women out there that don't cheat and lie to you. They actually exist bro, believe it.

 

All I can say is that since I've met my new girlie things have progressed that much faster. How nice would it be to wake up anxious to hanging out with someone new. It's a great feeling, being wanted and needed. That's what you really miss pushforward. It's not the ex you miss, it's all the stuff that goes along with having a relationship. You can have that again, RIGHT NOW, if you just push yourself to do things you wouldn't normally do.

 

If this breakup was let's say your job, how would you say you were doing? Good or bad? Take this breakup as a godsend and know it's a challenge you can defeat. I'd put a positive spin on all this and tell yourself this is an opportunity of a life time right now to rebuilding myself. I needed this... and I'm eager to not only squash it but blow it out of the water. You defeat it, or it defeats you...

 

Just watched swingers last night and it's funny seeing how he recovers from his ex. Going through all the same emotions all of us have been going through. Very eye opening to see how stupid, down and depressed we get. but he had a support network of friends telling him he deserved better, and how unhealthy it was to keep dwelling on things. Eventually he does lighten up a bit, and even though they're baby steps he slowly starts gettin back in the game. That's what it really takes Pushforward. Getting back out there. You'll never move forward by looking continuously at the past. We're here for you, to kick you in the nads when you need it most.

 

- Stoney

[pushforward]

You need to find out scenarios and situations that get you in a bad mood, that make you think about her or get you depressed.

 

For example, I know I'll start obsessing about her and her new bf if I'm hungry, tired, bored or something like that. As long as I have something to do (whether it's working on a project or just gaming online) and I feel comfy, I don't give a rat's ass about her.

 

Find out when exactly you feel bad and then try to avoid those situations and places.

 

24 days NC today, feeling better than ever. Thank God she's out of my life, that selfish little whore.

 

Unfortunately, I cannot distract myself at work because it's a fairly easy job. At home, I'm fine. But, when I'm out and about, just random memories are hitting me. I try to do everything humanly possible to just accept it and to control my thoughts. Nothing I can do really, just time and more time. I over 40 days of NC now? Well close to a month and a half. I still feel like crap.

 

=/

 

Thank God she is out of my life. This pain needs to leave too.

[stoneymirror]

Yeah this might be kinda ghey, but I heard this last night when watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Also a great flick. but the song does have a pretty good point.

 

Quoted from the Great Wilson Phillips: Hold On

 

I know this pain

Why do lock yourself up in these chains?

No one can change your life except for you

Dont ever let anyone step all over you

Just open your heart and your mind

Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

 

Chorus:

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to

Turn around and say goodbye

Until then baby are you going to let them

Hold you down and make you cry

Dont you know?

Dont you know things can change

Thingsll go your way

If you hold on for one more day

Can you hold on for one more day

Thingsll go your way

Hold on for one more day

 

You could sustain

Or are you comfortable with the pain?

Youve got no one to blame for your unhappiness

You got yourself into your own mess

Lettin your worries pass you by

Dont you think its worth your time

To change your mind?

[pushforward]

Yeah this might be kinda ghey, but I heard this last night when watching Harold and Kumar go to White Castle. Also a great flick. but the song does have a pretty good point.

 

Quoted from the Great Wilson Phillips: Hold On

 

I know this pain

Why do lock yourself up in these chains?

No one can change your life except for you

Dont ever let anyone step all over you

Just open your heart and your mind

Is it really fair to feel this way inside?

 

Chorus:

Some day somebodys gonna make you want to

Turn around and say goodbye

Until then baby are you going to let them

Hold you down and make you cry

Dont you know?

Dont you know things can change

Thingsll go your way

If you hold on for one more day

Can you hold on for one more day

Thingsll go your way

Hold on for one more day

 

You could sustain

Or are you comfortable with the pain?

Youve got no one to blame for your unhappiness

You got yourself into your own mess

Lettin your worries pass you by

Dont you think its worth your time

To change your mind?

 

If only the words rang true. I need to pick myself up and not be in love with this girl anymore. I know everything that is going on right now in my head and life, is self inflicted. I'm trying to deal with the pain as best as I can. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to meet other girls to get over it, or just let time wash it out and then start dating. I just don't want to rush into things and mess up my healing process. It's different for everybody I guess. It's going to be awhile and I'm prepared to wait it out. I'll still be going out, but I won't be looking. I'll let love find me again.

 

Thanks stoney,

[stoneymirror]

Pushforward, did you read my post #49?

 

Anywho, I really urge you to get out there and at least go out on a date bro. Of course we all heal differently, but I'm talking from experience here bro. Listen to me. All you're doing is making more excuses to not move forward. What are you afraid of. You've already lost this ex of yours, what more can you lose? The only thing you're losing now is your own self respect and happiness. Yes meet other girls to get over it. Don't you see what you're doing. You're making up this unbelievable girl inside your head, she's not even your ex. She's someone else that you've created. You are still blinded by all this and you need a reality check. If your best friend came to you and asked you for some advice on this exact situation you had with your ex what would you tell that person? Something logical right, like, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

 

I would seriously write out all the bad things she did to you in the relationship and constantly go over it, again and again. You need to train your fragile little mind to be strong and confident again. Dude your life is passing you by and you're letting this happen. You mentioned you wanted to get back in touch with your spirtuality. Here's a good book for you, that'll both challenge you and open your eyes to your own fears and anxiety. "purpose driven life" this book changed my life. and helped me get out of my anxiety and depression that I carried with me my whole life. This book can teach you how God is on your side and you have nothing to worry about. Unbelievable book.

 

Push yourself Pushforward, you have to. Nothing in life that's worth having is easy to get. You need to put things in perspective here, and look at this as an opportunity of a lifetime. Keep spinnin this in a positive light bro. That's how champions get through tough times and can pick themselves up again and again. You are the master of your own domain, tell yourself you're moving on, and tell yourself you're happy. Smile, and even fake it a bit, it'll help.

[lofi_tokyo]

stoney, thanks for posting all that you have! its good stuff! I like reading it

[GoneButNotForgotten]

This is a song that is really helping me through my breakup. It a rock song that to me really makes me realize what i'm feeling. If anyone is curious it is a song by Drowning Pool. Yes i know not usually a band you would think of for break up songs but to me it really seems to hit home.

 

"Im tearing away

Pieces are falling I cant seem to make them stay

You run away

Faster and faster you cant seem to get away

Break

Hope theres a reason

For questions unanswered I just dont see everything

Yes Im inside you

Tell me how does it feel to feel like this

Just like I do

I dont care about anyone else but me

I dont care about anyone

Do I really want this

Sometimes I scare myself I just cant let it go

Can you believe it

Everything happens for reasons I just dont know

I dont care about anyone else but me

I dont care about anyone

I dont care about anyone else but me

I dont care about anyone or anything but me

Damn I love me"

[pushforward]

trust company - downfall

 

Fear in me so deep it gets the best of me,

In the fear I fall, here it comes face to face with me,

Here I stand hold back so no one can see,

I feel these wounds, step down, step down,

step down.

 

(am I) Breaking Down

Can I break away

Push me away, make me fall,

Just to see, another side of me,

Push me away, you can see,

what I see, the other side of me.

 

Fall back on me, and I?ll be the strength I need,

to save me now, just come face to face with me,

stay in place you'll be the first to see, me heal these wounds,

step down, step down, step down, down

 

I?m not breaking, down

can I break away

push me away, make me fall,

just to see another side of me,

push me away you can see,

what I see, the other side of me

 

Go!

 

Fall, can I break away

push me away, make me fall,

just to see another side of me,

push me away you can see,

what I see, the other side of me

 

No one can see anything on the other side of me

I walk, I crawl, loosing everything and waiting for the downfall

No one can see everything on the other side of me

I walk, I crawl loosing everything on the downfall.

Downfall, Fall.

[Surfer Dude]

I'm not sure if linking is allowed here, but reading this helped me tremendously.

 

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/12/12/wayne-dyers-top-8-tips-for-building-a-better-social-life/

[EmperorR]

I'm spiritual as well, and this is a message/poem/sermoin whatever, this really helped me finally let go maybe i will help you

 

TD Jakes

 

 

>There are people who can walk away from you.

>

>And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:

>let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into

>staying with you, loving you, calling you, Caring about you, coming to

>see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

>

>When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is

never

>tied to anybody that left.

>

>The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made

>manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt

>they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

>

>People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are

not

>joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

>

>Let them go.

>

>And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that

their

>part in the story is over And you’ve got to know when people’s part in

>your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

>

>You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

>

>You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell

>you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual

>gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m

>faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it

to

>me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging

people

>to stay.

>

>Let them go!!

>

>If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was

>never intended for your life, then you need to……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If someone can’t treat you right, love you

>back, and see your worth…..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If someone has angered you …….

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or

>talents

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you have a bad attitude…….

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new

level

>in Him……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are struggling with the healing of a broken

>relationship………………..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help

>themselves…..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling

>yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need

>to…

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new

>thing for 2009!!!

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

[pushforward]

I'm not sure if linking is allowed here, but reading this helped me tremendously.

 

http://www.positivityblog.com/index.php/2008/12/12/wayne-dyers-top-8-tips-for-building-a-better-social-life/

 

Thanks, looks like a good read.

 

I'm spiritual as well, and this is a message/poem/sermoin whatever, this really helped me finally let go maybe i will help you

 

TD Jakes

 

 

>There are people who can walk away from you.

>

>And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you:

>let them walk. I don’t want you to try to talk another person into

>staying with you, loving you, calling you, Caring about you, coming to

>see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.

>

>When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is

never

>tied to anybody that left.

>

>The bible said that, they came out from us that it might be made

>manifest that they were not for us. For had they been of us, no doubt

>they would have continued with us. [1 John 2:19]

>

>People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are

not

>joined to you, you can’t make them stay.

>

>Let them go.

>

>And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that

their

>part in the story is over And you’ve got to know when people’s part in

>your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead.

>

>You’ve got to know when it’s dead.

>

>You’ve got to know when it’s over. Let me tell

>you something. I’ve got the gift of good-bye. It’s the tenth spiritual

>gift, I believe in good-bye. It’s not that I’m hateful, it’s that I’m

>faithful, and I know whatever God means for me to have He’ll give it

to

>me. And if it takes too much sweat I don’t need it. Stop begging

people

>to stay.

>

>Let them go!!

>

>If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was

>never intended for your life, then you need to……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If someone can’t treat you right, love you

>back, and see your worth…..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If someone has angered you …….

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction…..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are holding on to a job that no longer meets your needs or

>talents

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you have a bad attitude…….

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you’re stuck in the past and God is trying to take you to a new

level

>in Him……

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you are struggling with the healing of a broken

>relationship………………..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help

>themselves…..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If you’re feeling depressed and stressed …..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling

>yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need

>to…

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>Let the past be the past. Forget the former things. GOD is doing a new

>thing for 2009!!!

>

>LET IT GO!!!

>

>Get Right or Get Left .. think about it, and then ..

>

>LET IT GO!!!

 

I actually listen to the sermon that Nathaniel Brommer?, had referenced this to, every morning. I'm talking about I can repeat it word for word and I do in my head every night and every morning. Sad, but true. I guess those who are in the most pain, are closest to God.

[pushforward]

I need to stop missing her. I almost fell a sleep at my desk and I was blasted back into reality by forcing myself awake. Why the hell do I miss her so much. This should be a cake walk. She discarded me so easily. She's doing me a favor. I wish she was burnt out of my head already and not engraved into my mind and body. I don't know why I feel linked to her, she's gone, long gone.

 

I don't feel like breaking NC, yet I have this stupid urge to check on how she's doing. She doesn't care about me. I should move on already. I hope I will greatly rewarded one day. I hope this pain will be worth it.

[pushforward]

My head is all wrapped up in a headache now. Will maintain NC. Will not break. Will get over this. Will stop being sad and hurt. I hate how I am constantly bombarded with memories. This whole healing process has become a major part of my life. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've said it before and I'll say it again, whoever makes it through a break up, is a champ.

 

I don't get how people move on so quickly. It's taking me months, although I am further along the healing process than I was compared to day 1. I don't want this to take a year to get over. I don't get how to put healing into my own hands. I don't know what to do.

 

I know I want to be healed. I know I want to not care. I know I want to move on. Yet, I'm stuck in this state of repeating the same thoughts. Getting tired of it. I am not living life to the fullest, I don't even remember the last time when I was fully happy. When I have my moments of not thinking about her, I feel relief, but reality eventually comes back in. She's a total bitch and loser. I don't get why I am still hung up on this. This should be so EASY.

[northstar1]

My head is all wrapped up in a headache now. Will maintain NC. Will not break. Will get over this. Will stop being sad and hurt. I hate how I am constantly bombarded with memories. This whole healing process has become a major part of my life. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I've said it before and I'll say it again, whoever makes it through a break up, is a champ.

 

I don't get how people move on so quickly. It's taking me months, although I am further along the healing process than I was compared to day 1. I don't want this to take a year to get over. I don't get how to put healing into my own hands. I don't know what to do.

 

I know I want to be healed. I know I want to not care. I know I want to move on. Yet, I'm stuck in this state of repeating the same thoughts. Getting tired of it. I am not living life to the fullest, I don't even remember the last time when I was fully happy. When I have my moments of not thinking about her, I feel relief, but reality eventually comes back in. She's a total bitch and loser. I don't get why I am still hung up on this. This should be so EASY.

 

Breakups are hard man, very few walk away unscathed. We've all gone through the same processes you are; the replaying of conversations, the happy memories, putting the ex on a pedestal, thinking we'll never meet one like them again, asking ourselves "how can they forget about us?". It's all natural.

 

The point is, you have a choice..............keep wallowing in the past, thinking about 'what if' and wondering if she'll come running back.......but you know what, each day you do that, is a day going by in your life.

 

We can't make our ex's come back......nothing we can do, no emails we write will make them come back, but what you can do is live life for yourself, and get out there and meet new people, and new girls.

 

If your ex decides to come back one day, so bet it, deal with that if it comes, but for now, assume that will never happen and learn to accept that.

 

Your happiness comes from you, not from someone else.

[pushforward]

Breakups are hard man, very few walk away unscathed. We've all gone through the same processes you are; the replaying of conversations, the happy memories, putting the ex on a pedestal, thinking we'll never meet one like them again, asking ourselves "how can they forget about us?". It's all natural.

 

The point is, you have a choice..............keep wallowing in the past, thinking about 'what if' and wondering if she'll come running back.......but you know what, each day you do that, is a day going by in your life.

 

We can't make our ex's come back......nothing we can do, no emails we write will make them come back, but what you can do is live life for yourself, and get out there and meet new people, and new girls.

 

If your ex decides to come back one day, so bet it, deal with that if it comes, but for now, assume that will never happen and learn to accept that.

 

Your happiness comes from you, not from someone else.

 

I understand that. I just don't know how to control the thoughts. I wish there was some magical technique to control my thoughts and I'd be fine. I'm not ever looking or hoping for her to come back. I think I have an obsessive thought pattern going on here. Trying really HARD to break it and be rid of it for good. I'm just tired of being in the dumps.

 

=/

[alwayssme]

Emperor, I like the thing you posted. I have read that myself and I like it. The whole thing about "letting go and letting God"

 

 

Ahhh!!! Somehow I still wonder in my own head...Should I let him go? He made me happy, I let go of us as a relationship but I just wish we could be normal and be friends....I dont believe in the whole 'you cant be firends with your ex" theory...I mean what the hell? That was the person who knew me better than anybody and now I cant even text him to maintain some "dignity"? I'm having such a hard time uderstanding...The onlyreason why I dont contact him is because I know it would CRUSH me if he acted cold...So maybe someday when I no longer CARE or NEED him in my life..when I'm able to hear ANYTHING from him and not get hurt, I would contact him...because God knows I have soooo much that I want to say...I NEVER said nothing to him, i made him feel like it wasokay to treat me like crap and to hurt me like this...you know i keep myself so busy, but at the end of the day he is still in my head...damn it!

[pushforward]

Emperor, I like the thing you posted. I have read that myself and I like it. The whole thing about "letting go and letting God"

 

 

Ahhh!!! Somehow I still wonder in my own head...Should I let him go? He made me happy, I let go of us as a relationship but I just wish we could be normal and be friends....I dont believe in the whole 'you cant be firends with your ex" theory...I mean what the hell? That was the person who knew me better than anybody and now I cant even text him to maintain some "dignity"? I'm having such a hard time uderstanding...The onlyreason why I dont contact him is because I know it would CRUSH me if he acted cold...So maybe someday when I no longer CARE or NEED him in my life..when I'm able to hear ANYTHING from him and not get hurt, I would contact him...because God knows I have soooo much that I want to say...I NEVER said nothing to him, i made him feel like it wasokay to treat me like crap and to hurt me like this...you know i keep myself so busy, but at the end of the day he is still in my head...damn it!

 

I feel yah on that one. I'm in the trenches with you. They don't deserve the time of day. OOOO soooo angry right now, just want to blow up on her. Haha, rode out that one emotion, now on to the next whooo! Good thing I get off in an hour, one thing I enjoy, pushing and moving weights around to let out the pent up emotions. I feel like a silly kid looking at myself at the mirror, telling myself to improve and make her regret. Anger, a great motivational tool.