Going to the xmas party solo..

[Generic Username]

Hey,

So our xmas party is coming up and I think I might go alone, and I'm kinda dreading the fact that I might get a knot in my chest like I have before in these situations. This place I'm at is different.. everybody is surprisingly cool, and I dunno but I think when I'm at work, since nobody really knows people's outside life, everybody just assumes people must have friends/life outside work, so if I show up alone it might come across as one of those 'oh.. you.. don't have any.. f-f-f-friends to come??' kinda vibe .. I dunno.. I mean obviously nobody will say it, but it'll be in my head the whole night.

 

I know it's immature and childish to feel that way but I can't help it.. something just comes over me, like this feeling that everybody is somehow feeling sorry for me. It's hard cause I'm not a naturally social person when alone, but when I'm "with somebody" I'm okay. I guess that's the prob is showing up alone requires you be more social than showing up with someone. It's kinda acceptable to show up with a friend and not talk much, but if you come alone and don't talk, it's like "so why did you come??"

 

Anyway, I guess what my question really is.. well I been known in the past to either turn "grumpy" or to just flat leave really early.. I guess you could say acting out on it in my own mysterious way.. which is why I tend to avoid these things. I'm more afraid of how I'll act, and the impression it will leave on people. So with that considered, might it be better to just pass up this year? Because if I go, the risk of acting out is there. But if I don't.. well, I'm pretty well liked from the day to day on the job..

[JohnnyBlaze]

Well, like you, I'm not the biggest social butterfly (solo or with accompaniment), and like you, the people I work with are pretty cool. However, I'm low enough on the corporate ladder that my absence won't screw me over in the future. Given my job, everybody in the company knows me, but I'm only really friends with a select few. So, rather than deal with the awkwardness of spending a Saturday evening with people I'm not close to, I just skip it altogether.

 

Fortunately for me, my birthday falls around the same time as the annual staff party, so every year, I have a ready-made excuse. "Sorry, I've got another party to go to that night". Granted, it may just be me and a few friends meeting up at the pub for a pint and a shot while we watch the boxing/UFC fight on TV, but they don't need to know that. If you don't feel like going, just tell them that you have another Christmas party to go to that night. There are enough of them this time of year; very few people will question it.

 

I'm the kind of guy who would rather throw on his leather jacket and hang with a few friends than suit up and socialize with 200 people. I just don't see the point in going to something I'm not comfortable at.