I am confused by her signs...can I get her back? Will she leave her new boyfriend?

[mynameis_e]

THIS IS A VERY LONG STORY, BUT PLEASE OUT OF THE KINDNESS OF YOUR HEART, READ IT AND GIVE ME YOUR ADVISE. THANK YOU

 

Someone please help me with some advise. I got together with my ex-girlfriend Amanda about 1 1/2 months before I graduated high school...she happens to be my best friends sister by the way. Anyways, we were together for almost 2 years when she left me and started dating a friend of mine. It's been almost a year now and I have feelings for her now that are stronger than they ever were in the past. I want her back more than anything else in this world...i'd give up absolutely anything to show her that I am a changed man who respects and loves her more than she could ever imagine...I want to spend the rest of my life with her and I have no second thoughts about that....here is my story...

 

As I said, we got together before high school let out...things started off with so much excitement and perfection that it actually scared me when we had a disagreement. I made the biggest mistake of my life the night of my graduation party from high school. Her and I had a confrontation that had not direct point but we argued about it for over 2 hours on the phone while all my guests were in my basement enjoying my grad party without me. I ended up giving another girl oral sex that night but stopped almost as soon as it started because it wasn't right....i never kissed her, hugged her, or showed any emotional feelings for this girl. I had never cheated on anyone else in my entire life and still haven't to this day. It was a spur of the moment reaction that I cannot blame on alcohol because I knew what was going on. Anyways, to keep the story shorter, she heard rumors about it around school (she was a junior and i was a senior) and whenever she asked me about it, I denied it because I just wanted it to go away....obviously this wasn't the best idea...things continued to go well and after she graduated we moved into an apartment together. We were very excited about this but after a few weeks there, something sparked that old memory of my grad party in her head and I chose to lie to her again because I didn't want to hurt her...i thought I could hold enough hurt for both of us that she wouldn't have to deal with it.

 

By me trying to hold all the hurt in, I began to close up and turn cold towards her because I knew I was wrong for what I had done and even more wrong for lying to her about it for so long. The point came in our relationship where she decided she didn't want to be with me anymore because she didn't feel the strong feelings between us anymore. I cried for days on end because I knew I had screwed it up...and what was worse, is that she found interest in my friend who I had been confiding in for the past month or so. Needless to say, she moved out and she started dating him...that was around december-january of this past year.

 

I finally couldn't hold in the lies anymore even though I hadn't talked to her in a long time...so two months after we broke up, i told her everything that had happened....the entire truth...she told me she never wanted to talk to me again and I left with no arguement. We didn't talk for a while and one day we started talking again. I ended up breaking down yet one more time and told her that i had had sex with 3 other girls in the past three months....I didn't have feelings for these girls and it only happened once or twice with each of them...but I was trying to put her back together through other people in hopes that I could fulfull the void that she had left. We stopped talking once agian (i kept giving her this space).

 

She is still seeing this other guy but I am not sure how happy she is with him. She doesn't seem overly excited to be with him but she is secure with him...she knows hes not going anywhere. Lately I have seen her and things have been great...we talk like we have been friends for years and we never bring up the past. I had given her a hug in the past and it was nothing more than a regular friendly pat on the back type of hug...but the past two times I have hugged her, it was a holding on don't let me go type of hug. She even went to lunch with me today and flirts back with me when I flirt with her....i am just confused on the situation and trying to figure out of she might be calling out for help or having second thoughts about us.

 

I don't want to come straight out and ask her anything about us...i'd much rather her come to me with the subject so I don't seem needy or despirate. She isn't the type of girl that will admit when she had made a major mistake either though, she will suck it up and deal with it. Can someone please tell me what kind of signs to look for or what the signs I am seeing might mean?

[IRULE]

the truth is always good if it dose't work out then at least you told the truth why is that so hard for men? i have a question why if you were dating was she not at your graduation party? were you fighting before the party?you should tell her how you feel watching for signs is a waste of time just talk to her if she Dons't want to be with you she will probably tell you, if you can't communicate with her now you never will, thats not the way to start a relationship if you want it to last.

[Velvet Eel]

I would wait, actually, before telling her how you feel. If she's enjoying spending time with you, let that continue. Let her reach her own conclusions about how much fun you are. I don't think declarations from lonely ex-lovers are as convincing as having a good time together, again and again. If I were you, I'd try to go six or eight weeks without bringing up your hopes for the future (and without rehashing the past, unless she really, really wants to talk about it and you can't avoid it.) Good luck!