If a guy

[Joyvke]

Tells you what he's going to do. For example, he lets you know he won't be home early, cause he's going to hang out with a friend.

 

Is that just really being friends, cause technically it's none of your business. Not even asked for it, he just says it.

 

Or you sms him with a "goodnight" and one hour later (probably due to connection) you get a sms back "sleep well too" kind of thing.

 

Asking you every day how you are and what you're up to.

 

Confusing isn't it. So many male friends and only the guy I like asks me all that stuff and tells me what he's up too without me even asking for it.

[Federica]

Is there a point to this thread?

What are you looking for, here?

[Joyvke]

Is there a point to this thread?

What are you looking for, here?

 

Not really sure. Guess I was hoping people would say something along the lines "it's just a friendly thing" or "if he wants you to know what he's up to he likes you" etc.

 

It's about a guy who liked me before, but doesn't anymore, so he claims, yet he keeps me around.

[norajane]

Guy friends who liked you before generally don't stop liking you, not completely. It's always there, in the background, at least a little bit. Whether it can be revived depends a lot on timing. Is he seeing someone else or interested in someone else - that likely bad timing and you won't get very far. If he doesn't have other prospects, you can revive his interest pretty easily during a fun evening out, and a well-timed kiss.

[vanilla87]

Not really sure. Guess I was hoping people would say something along the lines "it's just a friendly thing" or "if he wants you to know what he's up to he likes you" etc.

 

It's about a guy who liked me before, but doesn't anymore, so he claims, yet he keeps me around.

 

Usually a guy thats just a friend, will not automatically give up front details ot his day in any shape way or form, unless you personally ask.

 

But if he does it without you asking, it may or may not be just an unconscious thing to do, but my bet is he still thinks of you, alot, maybe more as a friend, or maybe just someone he is really close with.

 

Basically bottom line is this: he thinks about atleast once a day, so to speak if you talk to him atleast once a day.

 

Juts try and not initiate conversation next time, cause if you do that and he suddenly tries to, that means he is thinking about you, but if he doesn't and a whole day or two goes by it means he is either busy or just doesn't see you as more then a friend, try it, its bound to work.

[Joyvke]

But if he does it without you asking, it may or may not be just an unconscious thing to do, but my bet is he still thinks of you, alot, maybe more as a friend, or maybe just someone he is really close with.

 

We are pretty close. We tried to break contact, but usually after 3 days we would talk again. It being weird when we don't talk etc. As we talk every day.

 

I'll see what happens when I don't start conversations. One of my friend said "just say "sorry gtg am busy", pretend you don't have much time for him. He will come crawling as it's the cat/ mouse game". Sadly I'm not that strong to "ignore" him like that .

 

Though he usually is the one that starts talking, but then again, he could be doing that with everyone.

[norajane]

Why don't you just start flirting with him instead of playing games or sitting around wondering?

[Joyvke]

Why don't you just start flirting with him instead of playing games or sitting around wondering?

 

I'm not a natural flirt. Got absolutely NO idea how to do that. If he goes to bed on msn and he tells me I usually do a /hug and I pretty much always get one back *unless he's in a quiet mood*, but yeah, not really flirting is it?

[norajane]

Send a kiss instead of a hug. That will get him wondering.

 

When he calls, instead of just saying hi, say something like, "it's great to hear your voice." That will also get him thinking, plus it's a nice compliment, plus it will encourage him to call you more instead of just talking in text or online.

 

When you see him, do the eye contact thing, smile into his eyes, do the little touching him on the arm or hand as you're talking thing, hug him goodbye and add a kiss on his cheek. Lick your lips, brush your hair back, little things to get him noticing you again as a woman.

 

Combine all that, and he'll soon start reciprocating. As I said, guys who are attracted don't stop being attracted just because you're not dating. If he's not involved with someone, you can wake up the dormant attraction he's shelved when you didn't show interest before.

[vanilla87]

I'm not a natural flirt. Got absolutely NO idea how to do that. If he goes to bed on msn and he tells me I usually do a /hug and I pretty much always get one back *unless he's in a quiet mood*, but yeah, not really flirting is it?

 

Hmm, you could give him a nickname, sort of start a playful flirt that way, but nothing cute, just something that screams "inside joke" to the two of you. And you could next time compliment something he is wearing or ask questions about something he likes, take interest and pay attention.

 

Also touch him on the arm, say, during a funny joke, laugh and kind of lean towards him and do that light touching like "oh your so funny!" or something to that degree. What works even more, if you sit next to him and move a little closer and he doesn't move, thats a sign, cause guys won't let a girl in their comfort zone like that unless he likes you. Also if you brush your leg up against his while sitting and say you leave it there and he doesn't move his leg, thats a big sign, cause that basically means he wants to get close enough to feel you.

 

A good indication is pay attention to his feet. When your standing, say in a crowd together, with friends, and he is across from you, if they are directly pointed at you, your the most important person to him right then and there, which mean he probably likes you. Same goes for torso (aka-the body). If he has his head turned but he looks weird cause his body is turned and pointed at you, that means he was subconsiously thinking about you and likes you, guys do this without thinking when they like a girl.

 

Another indication is his pupils. This can be tough. Now if they dilate (enlarge) in daylight or around bright lights, when your talking to him face to face, that means he likes you. Trust me on this, you probably do it too and don't even realize it, its a human reaction when you physically desire someone or have a crush on someone.

 

Also any guy that lingers about a second or two too long when you hug, thats a big sign he likes you, also if he does that and sort of rubs your back, kind of like feeling you out, that means he may be ready to make a move on you or since he did that, he maybe waiting for you to since he made that move first.

 

I hope this helps you out a little....

[MsDazed_N_Confused]

hi all, i was just about to open a similar thread.

I have a male friend and he does the same, i get messages about when he will and when he won't be home. What he will be doing that night etc etc. Completely unasked for, and he expects the same of me. He is even annoyed when i forget to tell him i had to go to the doctor. We talk to eachother almost daily, i tested him a few time by not contacting him or staying offline, but the longest he has been without texting or phoning is about 36 hours.

I did flirt, and he flirts back, yet he is still trying to meet other girls.

And tells me all about it, asks advise etc (i am 7 years older than he is).

Unlike you i hope he is just being friendly even though i do have a small crush on him (i am just not ready for a relationship, still recovering from the last one). And i was hoping to find an answer in your thread.

 

Could be a dutch thing too

[Shnuggles]

Guys sending messages every day sounds iffy to me. No way I would do it unless in a relationship.

 

Sounds like he lieks you to the point of wanting some sort of relationship, be it a fling or something more. If they are still looking at other ladies then I wouldn't be surprised if the messages stop after he finds someone.

 

If you like him, ask him about it over coffee as its not really a normal, casual thing to do and a bit of a mind-game. I really hate mind-games.

 

My 2 cents. Good luck with that.

[Joyvke]

Shnuggles, yes I think that will happen, if it already didn't happen.

 

He used to talk less when he liked some other girl. When that was over we talked alot again.

 

Last week on Thursday (not last Thursday but the one before that) I was sick and he rang me on Skype. Since then he's been very distant and now I haven't heard from him for 3 days *this will be the 3rd*. My guess is that he found someone and is too scared to tell me again. He was feeling a bit down though, but didn't wanted to talk about it.

 

Last Thursday he sounded happy he caught me before going to bed, we talked a bit before he had to go. After that we didn't talk at all. Maybe I'm just paranoid and maybe he's just having parties, but I am kinda worried as he was feeling down and all :/. Though I don't want to call/ sms, cause then he might think I'm obsessed *maybe I am who knows *.

 

Msdazed_n_confused

Yeah that situation is kinda crap. Especially when you do like him, but not ready yet, and knowing he might get someone. It does sound as if it's a Dutch thing isn't it hehe. I'm very bad in knowing when someone likes me as well. On my work there was a guy that stayed even tho he stopped school. I didn't know he liked me untill my ex and me visited him and he had a gf as well. Though I did think so, and felt the same .

 

Succes met jouw situatie in ieder geval .

[MsDazed_N_Confused]

Well i am obviously not the expert here, but if i were you i would call. If you are asking if he is well, then i wouldn't consider it to be obsessed, but just friendly.

On the other hand, i landed myself straight into the friendszone (after this weekend i am sure of it) with being friendly. Apparently, men do have one....

[Joyvke]

Well i am obviously not the expert here, but if i were you i would call. If you are asking if he is well, then i wouldn't consider it to be obsessed, but just friendly.

On the other hand, i landed myself straight into the friendszone (after this weekend i am sure of it) with being friendly. Apparently, men do have one....

 

Well I texted him, didn't get a text back. I got worried. Found out he had me on ignore on msn, so was kinda pissed off.

 

Turns out he's afraid of giving mixed signals again and wants some time for his own atm. He said sorry for handling it like that just "disappearing", but thought if he would tell it wouldn't happen.

 

Mind you this happened before, but we agreed on it at times. Taking space, not talk for some time etc. He has things he wants to talk about, but claims he's not ready for it. I'm the only person who actually knows something is wrong with him, and I do ask for it. I do know that when he cried on the phone he really needs help and it hurts he doesn't want to talk about stuff. It's obviously bothering him.

 

Guess I'm getting to close that he backs off now. He felt bad for doing it, but he thinks he really needs it to be ready to tell. So wished him a merry xmas and a happy new year if we didn't talk. He said when he's ready he will talk again, just need to get things straight and all.

 

Suppose this means several things:

He doesn't like me, but yet he does

He does like me, is getting scared backs off.

He doesn't like me and won't talk at all anymore.

He doesn't know how to handle his emotions about it all.

 

Could be anything. We'll see, not gonna wait much longer if it has to be like this I guess.

MsDazed_N_Confused:

Sucks that you ended in the friendszone, though I heard that if a guy liked you before, they will always have something for you there. Not sure how it worked and all. Well timed kisses e.d. I think there are topics with tips how to get out of the friendszone and all . Good luck.

[MsDazed_N_Confused]

It sounds to me like option 4 is most likely. Hopefully he can clear his mind quickly and actually disclose what he does feel.

For me, i am actually suprisingly relieved to be in the friendszone, he is cute but 7 yrs age difference is a lot. And we are in 2 completely different stages of our lives. But perhaps in a few years time, things will be different. And it is not like i am madly in love with him.

[Joyvke]

Not expecting anything to come out of it to be honest, but yeah, we'll see .

 

I know he was off to his family for christmas (plane), so I sent him a sms, a simple one.

 

"Have a safe journey. Merry Xmas with the family. J"

 

Actually got a reply back, which sort of surprised me. That I got a reply to begin with that is .

 

"Thanx J! I hope you have a nice holiday. You enjoy it!".

 

Will sent an sms with new year as well. Hope he uses Xmas to think about the things he wasn't ready to tell or something. I spilled my heart and feelings out several times, crying and all. He sometimes cries too, but doesn't really spill whats on his mind, as if he's afraid or something. It's all complicated I guess.

 

We'll see if I hear again after xmas or new year. Going to a singleparty on saturday though. Let's see how that would be. Kinda nervous, no idea what kind of people come there!

[MsDazed_N_Confused]

Hi Joyvke,

 

Hope your party went well.

Wanted to say...good luck for 2009!

[Phateless]

Tells you what he's going to do. For example, he lets you know he won't be home early, cause he's going to hang out with a friend.

 

Is that just really being friends, cause technically it's none of your business. Not even asked for it, he just says it.

 

Or you sms him with a "goodnight" and one hour later (probably due to connection) you get a sms back "sleep well too" kind of thing.

 

Asking you every day how you are and what you're up to.

 

Confusing isn't it. So many male friends and only the guy I like asks me all that stuff and tells me what he's up too without me even asking for it.

 

If you like him, turn it up a notch. Flirt, touch, tease, playfully slap his arm. Turn the conversation slightly sexual. Make a move.

[Joyvke]

Well we talk again. He told me it won't be the same as before at least. We need our own space and all. It all really sounded as if we broke up or something. I think Carhill said something to take the negative things off a guy as negative and positive things as something that gets verified by actions. So guess the, I want to be friends thing, really is just to be friends. Hope he sorts himself out soon as well, as something does seem to be wrong.

 

Hi Joyvke,

 

Hope your party went well.

Wanted to say...good luck for 2009!

 

Thanks MsDazed_N_Confused. Party was ok. Was there with sister and her friend. I did felt uncomfortable alot. Lots of different people walking around there as well, even couples. Which surprised me a bit. However, this is once a month, but not really worth the 1 hour to go and 1 hour back trip at all. Was exhausted from driving .