People my age get into relationships for the sake of it?

[lazlow99]

Most of my friends are in relationships, and everyone I live with is in a relationship except me. I'm not jealous of them at all, and I've been with a few girls but nothing has developed into a bf/gf type relationship. Don't get me wrong if someone came along who I really connected with and cared for I would probably take things further, but so far that hasn't happened.

 

I'm 20, and something I've noticed about my friends the same age is that they get into relationships with girls, who they say themselves are immature, and I see the awkward conversations they have when other people are around... and to me it doesn't seem like they have anything real, put it this way I can't see them getting married.

 

Relationships at this age, not all of them, but a lot of them seem so fake, like an ego boost or a convenience. I think a lot of them are just in it for the sex, but rather than just be honest, they carry on under this pretense that they love each other etc and that it's 'serious.' When I've been with a girl I just want sex with I'll just say that, so they know thats all I want and I don't want to hurt them.

 

And a lot of my friends girlfriends just seem to enjoy playing the happy couple. And 90% of the time its the guy who has to hang around with her friends all the time, not the other way around. I just see these guys who seem all p***y whipped paying for stuff, doing what their girl wants all the time... I can't see myself being under the thumb like that. Don't get me wrong I can be affectionate, kind and everything else, but a lot of girls my age seem to treat their other half like a pet they can show their friends than an actual partner.

 

Any thoughts on this? Or am I just a cynical arse.

[NWSTRT2121]

I feel your annoyances my friend. My roomate who used to be my best friend met a girl this semester and they are pretty much locked together head to toe and it's starting to drive me nuts. Both my roomate and the girl are pretty genuine so I wouldn't call the relationship superficial but its just obnoxious it seems like they are around each other all the time. I def see a lot of rships in college though that are superficial and I think it is an ego boost for both sex's. As much as the idea of having a gf sounds great, when it all comes down to it I am really picky and have had rships in the past that were mostly for the physical affection and comfort of having a gf rather than actually being crazy about the girl.

 

I had a really hard time getting over my last rship. It took me almost a year but I look back and the part I missed most wasn't really her, but was the actual r-ship itself. Not having someone call you every night, someone who was crazy about you, etc. Anyway the way I look at it I know the feeling it is a bit frustrating to see all the others around you locked up in an rship, but you sound like me in someone who has high standards and doesn't want to settle for a superficial fling just so you can say you're in an r-ship. Just make an effort, don't settle for less and i'm sure you're bound to find someone.

[fishtaco]

You know, it's fun to play. You're 20, go do whatever you enjoy doing. But make sure you're doing it for yourself, not because of your roommates or whatever.

 

Back in college, when I was your age, and I had to walk to school with no legs because they haven't invented legs back then. I would always hang out at my buddy's apartment. My parent's home was close enough to school, but my family was dysfunctional enough that I would avoid going home as much as possible. His roommate was in a lovey-dovey relationship, shadows of each other, and to our surprised lasted longer than college. Good for him. Except they'd have sex ALL THE TIME. Sometimes they don't even bother closing the door. I never saw anything, but I've heard plenty. Sometimes my bud and I would just leave in the middle of studying so we don't have to deal with it. Of course it also wasn't very tough to decide between studying vs go out and goof around some place.

 

So really your roommate's PDA is not that big of a deal. Could be worse. heh.