is she telling the truth??

[ca_whatdoido]

please i need advice.

 

ok, so i was spending some time with my girlfriend. i asked to see her phone.

 

she refused, saying that she was planning a surprise for my upcoming birthday. i just left it alone at that point.

 

however i had for about two weeks felt that something was wrong. so when i was leaving i asked her again. she refused once more saying she didnt want to ruin the surprise.

 

after i told her that i would rather ruin the suprise than have to live with an uneasy mind, the situation escalated. inside i wanted to think that there was nothing for her to hide but my logic was telling me that i was making a mistake if i did not check her phone before i left.

 

and wasi right, after finally convincing her to hand over the phone, witch took about an hour i went straight to the in box, only paying attention to names i did not recognize.

 

i will not mention real names but lets say it was a message from jsust an unknown person. i read just "omg".

 

she told me that this was one of her girlfriends, and i believed her.

 

then further down the list i ran across an other message from unknown person. it was a picture message and before opening it i saw the subject "do you like my tities" i asked her what is in this message not wanting to see her female friends brests and making the situation worse.

 

she replied nothing, so i opened it and it was another guy shirtless. i was shocked, and assumed that, that was she didnt want me to see and almost gave back the phone and left, but i decided to first check the sent messages.

 

i found a message from her to him, a picture of her butt wearing only underwear. i was devestated, never thinking something like this to take place in our relationship.

in the call log there was proof that they also had phone conversations. i love her and want more than anything else to fix this.

 

this is what i believe, that they started talking the day before thanksgiving. i know he is a friend of her sister.

 

[just some more info about a week and a half ago she was at her sisters house and i wanted to go see her after work, and she did not want me to go, i thought this was weird caz she and her sisters always say how i should spend more time with them. after i said i was going to go anyways, she said that we would have to stay outside because i "couldnt" come in. since it was cold and i didnt want her to get sick i just went home. i now know this was because he was there with them that night.]

 

ok so she tells me other than all that i have already metioned the only thing between them was that when he was leaving he quickly snuk in a kiss on the lips but she did not kiss him back.

 

i dont know how true that is. she says that she is sorry and still wants a future being married to me.

she also says that she has cut off all communication with him, and will never see/talk to him again.

 

how can i trust her? how do i know that they didnt have sex? do i believe that she really didnt want him to kiss her? how do i know she doesnt talk to him anymore? or that this is the first thim she has done something like this in the past? please someone help me i am in a world of hurt....

[georgejungle]

dude, don't mess around...Dump her.

 

I know relationships aren't perfect, no one is perfect,

but i personally strive to have a good relationship and be

the most honest, trustworthy dude i can to my girl.

 

If she did this to me, I'd be totally offended and tell her

to take a hike for lying, sending private pictures of herself

to another guy when she;s in a "committed" relationship

with me? It's a step away from cheating. i personally

don't stand for that crap.

 

It's flirting but in a totally sexual way and that ain't cool.

And for her to act shady and not be upfront with you and lie

and all that, even if you COULD fix this (which i don't know

why you'd want to) you'll always have this in your couple history

and you'll most likely always harbor resentment towards

her for this. She's immature dude. She disrespected you.

[Gremio]

If she did this to me, I'd be totally offended and tell her

to take a hike for lying, sending private pictures of herself

to another guy when she;s in a "committed" relationship

with me? It's a step away from cheating. i personally

don't stand for that crap.

 

It's flirting but in a totally sexual way and that ain't cool.

And for her to act shady and not be upfront with you and lie

and all that, even if you COULD fix this (which i don't know

why you'd want to) you'll always have this in your couple history

and you'll most likely always harbor resentment towards

her for this. She's immature dude. She disrespected you.

 

+1. I even consider on the same level of cheating. It will lead to it at some point. You will never get over it even if you say you will. It will eat at you months, even years down the road.

[Wicked Smile]

please i need advice.

 

ok, so i was spending some time with my girlfriend. i asked to see her phone.

 

she refused, saying that she was planning a surprise for my upcoming birthday. i just left it alone at that point.

 

however i had for about two weeks felt that something was wrong. so when i was leaving i asked her again. she refused once more saying she didnt want to ruin the surprise.

 

after i told her that i would rather ruin the suprise than have to live with an uneasy mind, the situation escalated. inside i wanted to think that there was nothing for her to hide but my logic was telling me that i was making a mistake if i did not check her phone before i left.

 

and wasi right, after finally convincing her to hand over the phone, witch took about an hour i went straight to the in box, only paying attention to names i did not recognize.

 

i will not mention real names but lets say it was a message from jsust an unknown person. i read just "omg".

 

she told me that this was one of her girlfriends, and i believed her.

 

then further down the list i ran across an other message from unknown person. it was a picture message and before opening it i saw the subject "do you like my tities" i asked her what is in this message not wanting to see her female friends brests and making the situation worse.

 

she replied nothing, so i opened it and it was another guy shirtless. i was shocked, and assumed that, that was she didnt want me to see and almost gave back the phone and left, but i decided to first check the sent messages.

 

i found a message from her to him, a picture of her butt wearing only underwear. i was devestated, never thinking something like this to take place in our relationship.

in the call log there was proof that they also had phone conversations. i love her and want more than anything else to fix this.

 

this is what i believe, that they started talking the day before thanksgiving. i know he is a friend of her sister.

 

[just some more info about a week and a half ago she was at her sisters house and i wanted to go see her after work, and she did not want me to go, i thought this was weird caz she and her sisters always say how i should spend more time with them. after i said i was going to go anyways, she said that we would have to stay outside because i "couldnt" come in. since it was cold and i didnt want her to get sick i just went home. i now know this was because he was there with them that night.]

 

ok so she tells me other than all that i have already metioned the only thing between them was that when he was leaving he quickly snuk in a kiss on the lips but she did not kiss him back.

 

i dont know how true that is. she says that she is sorry and still wants a future being married to me.

she also says that she has cut off all communication with him, and will never see/talk to him again.

 

how can i trust her? how do i know that they didnt have sex? do i believe that she really didnt want him to kiss her? how do i know she doesnt talk to him anymore? or that this is the first thim she has done something like this in the past? please someone help me i am in a world of hurt....

 

Here's the problem with this. And it's not your fault really. You showed your crads too early. She has full damage control and can hide the damaging truth from you rather than you knowing what exactly was going on. Not her version either. Because she will throw all kinds of detours to shift the blame off her and onto anything else.

 

I am in IT.I speak to you from EXPERIENCE. Recent experience. I had supsicions for a month but sat on them. Because I wasn't ready for the truth. In my case I really did add to the problem by detaching myself. So I was not innocent in this. But I didn't cause her to cheat. She chose that.

 

Finally, I had had enough. I actually prayed on what to do. A voice kept warning me. You know what you have to do, but be ready, it's going to be ugly. So I hacked her Myspace and FB and Hotmail accounts in less than 20 minutes. I was flying through so many proggies I used to test security it was ridiculous. After I cracked her email account I found some evidence. My stomache cringed. THen her FB and found some offball messages but when I got to her Myspace account BAM there it was. In all it's ugly glory. The wicked truth.

 

She of course tried lieing to me. She'd gotten preety good at lying over that month. But I hardprinted it out. Hijacked the accounts and pasted the messages for everyone to see and waited. She screamed when her sister called. I rerouted all her accounts to private email addresses I registered a year before for work. Every password change they submitted was routed to me and collected.

 

She has become someone who i didn;t even recognize. I am guessing your girl has changed as well?

 

Needless to say, a few days later all her friends and family berated her. I gave her the accounts back. damage was done. And she deleted them all. She was so ashamed at what she had become she hit rock bottom. She's not a cheater. But she ended up cheating. I picked her back up. Gave her another chance and have been giving her everything she wanted in a relationship. This is what I should have done in the first place. But for some reason I was just not there. After all this I changed.

 

So sorry for the rambling. Anyways here's what you do. Collect the info and get yourself. She will lie to you. Once you have it confront her with it. Buy a loggin suite to catch her passwords if your not tech savy. Once you have what you need...peace of mind after the initial shock is over..use it. Help her see what she has become. And if you really love her and she is worth it. Forgive. Move past it. Truly forgive her and to do that she has to hit bottom and come clean..don't trust a woman to do that on her own when she's cheating. It's not going to happen. Even a man who is cheating for that matter.

[allanDR]

dump the bitc|-|. This site makes me so mad sometimes. After going through such a horrible break up i see shlt like this where obviously this girl is screwing around. Maybe she didn't fuc|< this guy but she's clearly not completely into you. Grow some fricking balls and get rid of the whor3, no matter how hot she is or how good the sex is. You'll find someone else.

[lkjh]

She cheated man and ditched you to hang out with him. Dump her

[norajane]

it was a picture message and before opening it i saw the subject "do you like my tities" i asked her what is in this message not wanting to see her female friends brests and making the situation worse.

 

she replied nothing, so i opened it and it was another guy shirtless.

 

i found a message from her to him, a picture of her butt wearing only underwear.

 

after i said i was going to go anyways, she said that we would have to stay outside because i "couldnt" come in. since it was cold and i didnt want her to get sick i just went home. i now know this was because he was there with them that night.]

 

when he was leaving he quickly snuk in a kiss on the lips but she did not kiss him back.

 

i dont know how true that is. she says that she is sorry and still wants a future being married to me.

 

You'd be a fool to stick around, and an idiot to marry her. This girl is not trustworthy and certainly is not behaving the way a woman who is thinking of you as her husband, a man she'd be making a LIFETIME COMMITMENT to.

 

You've gotten your warning and evidence. If you want to ignore this bright red flag, proceed at your own peril.