D-Jam Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 How far would you be willing to go? Would you do long distance if you met the ideal person far away? Would you knock 20 "must have" qualifications down to 3 on your standards list? Would you date someone you like despite your friends and family thinking "you could do better", but you know their logic isn't based on any real danger to your heart, but maybe them thinking you could find someone better looking or someone who makes more money? Would move out of your comfort zone if it meant finding Mr or Ms Right? Would you move out of your home land...away from your family, friends, etc...if you knew this person was the one for you? How far would you go? Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted December 12, 2008 Share Posted December 12, 2008 My main requirements are that we find each other attractive and can become best friends. After that it's icing on the cake. Link to post Share on other sites
Author D-Jam Posted December 12, 2008 Author Share Posted December 12, 2008 My main requirements are that we find each other attractive and can become best friends. After that it's icing on the cake. But how far would you go to find that person? If no one in your home town found you attractive, would you go outside of your hometown to find that person? Would you move away from your hometown if you and this person were in love and wanted to marry? If moving meant you had to learn a new career or language, would you do it? Would you move this person to you, and support them fully if you had to? What if your family and friends told you to find someone locally...would you listen and keep looking? Or go the distance for the right person? What if that person had 2 kids from a previous marriage? My point of this exercise is that I see many who want the ideal mate, but often times won't venture very far, won't leave their comfort zones, or even won't "give up" anything or "work" to get that ideal person. Many treat it as if there is a hint of trouble, then they'll chuck it and stay single. So I'm more or less exercising everyone to think about the limits they would go to find the ideal mate. Link to post Share on other sites
Joyvke Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 Don't really have a list. As long as they don't have kids, preferably don't want any either. If we are good friends, the connection is there, we get along well. He listens to me, I listen to him, pretty much he's there when I need him, I'm fine. I would definitely move countries if I had to. If I could I'd move worlds for him just to show him how much I care. Sadly it seems I'm not given the chance to show that atm. Guess I'm a bit romantic, or maybe nuts, regarding that . *have to admit, I wouldn't do non English speakers. I'm very bad in languages and I prefer English.* Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted December 13, 2008 Share Posted December 13, 2008 I only have 5 requirements, that they don't have kids living with them, that they don't want kids, that they aren't prudish, that they aren't a control freak, and that I find them physically attractive. As for moving to another country, well, I think I'd only be happy with moving to America or Australia. I am living in the UK and I think I'd actually prefer to live in America or Australia anyway. Thing is I doubt I would ever have the confidence to get on a plane and fly to another country on my own to meet them and then have to fly back, even if I love them. So I'm not sure if it could ever work. Link to post Share on other sites
Shnuggles Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 My fathers girlfriend has moved to Australia and is learning English! She is really nice too. As for me? It all comes down to work. I won't move to a new city unless I can find some. New country? Sure but she would have to be REALLY special and someone I know VERY well. The country would have to be English in language too. Link to post Share on other sites
qwer Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 I would consider moving, yes. But the long-distance thing is hard, and fraught with peril. Dating is hard enough without adding more challenges. However where I live now isn't presenting many options so looking into the wider world might be my next step. A good friend of mine recently gave up a lot - his job, his house, and his dog - to move across the country and get married. He got off the bench and committed. It's ending in disaster only a year later, and I think that if they had not been dating remotely they would have figured it out sooner. This is just one person's situation, but giving things up is not necessarily the answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 Would you do long distance if you met the ideal person far away? Yes, I would at least try. Would you knock 20 "must have" qualifications down to 3 on your standards list? Well, I don't have 20...maybe more like 8. I think smart, kind, educated, somewhat ambitious, and decent looking would always stay. Would you date someone you like despite your friends and family thinking "you could do better", but you know their logic isn't based on any real danger to your heart, but maybe them thinking you could find someone better looking or someone who makes more money? If it was ONLY them thinking I could do better, I'd date that person, but if I had even an inkling of the same thought, I wouldn't. Would move out of your comfort zone if it meant finding Mr or Ms Right? YES, in fact I think that is almost NECESSARY to find a good relationship! Would you move out of your home land...away from your family, friends, etc...if you knew this person was the one for you? Unsure about this one--I'm already a plane flight away from most of them, but overseas is pretty drastic. If it was the love of my life--I'd consider it, if I could find a job there--but I'd feel torn. Link to post Share on other sites
Isolde Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 My point of this exercise is that I see many who want the ideal mate, but often times won't venture very far, won't leave their comfort zones, or even won't "give up" anything or "work" to get that ideal person. Many treat it as if there is a hint of trouble, then they'll chuck it and stay single. So I'm more or less exercising everyone to think about the limits they would go to find the ideal mate. Intriguing and provocative post, D-Jam. I find that many people who don't seem to find matches locally suddenly end up getting married to someone from another country, and they're very happy! It's weird. I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone, but it can take a lot to find them. So I really think this is an interesting post. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross PK Posted December 18, 2008 Share Posted December 18, 2008 I truly believe there is someone out there for everyone, but it can take a lot to find them. So I really think this is an interesting post. I'm really not sure if there's someone out there for me, I wouldn't be surprised if there wasn't *imagining it being only one girl in the whole world if there is* If there is, then if only I knew how to find her. Link to post Share on other sites
seamaid Posted December 25, 2008 Share Posted December 25, 2008 I would only put that kind of effort to unite with him if I knew without a doubt that he would do the same for me. And that he *could* do the same for me. So no, I don't think I would financially support a guy to be with him. Now if I were a man, I would be less concerned about extending a hand financially to a woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts