breyedgirlbc Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 I have been finding it really hard to get back into the dating scene since my ex and i broke up almost a year ago. I really loved this guy with all my heart and went threw hell when we broke up for awhile....i had always had trust issues with guys before i met him. When i did meet him, i eventually trusted him with all i had, and we got along great, our lives changed and he got a job far away...long story short, we broke up, tried to remain friends, and i found it so hard because i still loved him so much. He still tried to remain a big part of my life up untill recently when i just quit talking to him because i knew if i didn't i would never be able to move on with my life. Now everytime i go out and meet guys, i can't bring myself to taake it any farther because he is still very much in my mind...my heart!! Also when i do decide to get to know a guy better, i always seem to wig out after a few days and not answer there calls, eventually just not talking to them again. I want to be able to be open to someone new, because i know that my ex and i will never get back together, i actually don't even want to get back together anymore, i just feel like i can't go through another possible heart break and i don't really want to take the chance. Should just go out there and force myself to give it a try, or take somemore alone time to figure things out, because maybe i am simply still not ready yet?? Even though i feel like after almost a year i should be ready...shouldn't i?? Any answers?? Link to post Share on other sites
sonofhud Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 Me and my ex have been broken up and I feel the exact way you do. I havent been talkin to her in this last year until recently, and I still find that I have feelings for her. I was much better not talking to her at all. I didn't think about her, I took all her pictures down, anything that would remind me of her. I'm not sure what to tell you because I don't know what to do myself. Just know that you are not the only one in your type of situation. If you don't want to be in a relationship right now and don't feel like you are ready, then don't try to get into one. Who ever said you HAVE to be with someone? Yes, I know sometimes you get lonely, as do I, and want to be with someone and show them affection. In times like those, its best to try to stay busy and do a lot of things with your friends. You will soon forget about that ex, get your personal live in order and start enjoying it, and then your dating and what not will fall in place later on. Link to post Share on other sites
A wanderer Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 I think you are deeply in love with the guy. Yes I frequently point out the obvious. Tell him your feelings he you may get back together if not just completely forget about him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author breyedgirlbc Posted September 28, 2003 Author Share Posted September 28, 2003 Thanx Sonofhud....Have you been dating recently?? If you have was it wierd or did ya compare thibgs you loved about your ex to the gurl you were dating......thats what i seem to do, and i know its wrong which is why i don't feel like i am ready to date yet. I am lonely though, and do often think that it would be nice to get/give some affection to/from someone!! Maybe i just need a male friend to hang out with, take things slowly then if something happens it does, if not at least my mind will be pre-occupied, but i have to admit since i have cut off all ties i have been feeling a little better and am realizing there is probably something better out there for me....Its nice to know i am not the only one that is going through this, for awhile i felt like there was something wrong with me because i just couldn't stop thinking about it!! Maybe we can talk again one day, let me know how things are going for you.....Take care, and your reply was much appreciated!! Trace Link to post Share on other sites
stewh Posted September 29, 2003 Share Posted September 29, 2003 Hi breyedgirlbc and sonofhud, I feel I am in the same situation as you guys. In April this year me and my ex of 8 years split up. Not really sure even now what the exact reason was. We were first loves and been together from school. Anyway I posted some previous messages on that so I won't go into it all again. About a week later she starts seeing someone else. In the past 6 months she has been on holiday with him and even moved into his house! The trouble I had was that until just over a month ago we still had a house to sell (I am 26 and she is 24) and so had to remain in contact. Since then I told her that there was no reason for us to remain in contact as she was evidently happy with him and that it wasn't fair on me as I was still in love with her and needed to try and move on. Last week I get an e-mail asking 'Are you ready to talk to me yet?'. I couldn't believe it. Hasn't she put me through enough already this year without dragging me along whilst she settles with this new guy! I don't understand why she has such an urge to stay in contact and 'friends' as she puts it. Why do women think that is so easy to do? I guess what I am trying to say is this. Over the past 6 months I have felt things I never thought possible. Pure **** to be honest, I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. I have not dated anyone else at all since. I'm just not interested and I am also scared ****less that if someone who had known me so well for so long could so easily hurt me that bad, then the next girl I decide to date could do it to me much more easily. And I don't think I can take that again, at least not in the near future anyway. I have just bought my own place, which should be finished at the end of the year so I am looking forward to getting into that. And I have been spending a lot of time with my friends and getting into my work. Of course I feel very lonely at times, especially after being with someone so long and then being on your own. But it comes and goes. I think Christmas will be hard. I have met other girls and at times when I felt really low I nearly got involved with them but something told me inside that it wasn't right and that I wasn't ready anyway. I am glad it did as I think I would have ended up rushing into some big mistakes. I still think about my ex far too much and can't get rid of my feelings for her. I decided this weekend that if she was to remain in contact and friends then I am going to do that. I don't feel as though I want to get back with her. I don't think there would be any trust there anyway. I am just waiting for some really nice girl to come along and help me move on lol. If you feel you are not ready still then there is no harm in staying single. You can't hurt anyone with a mistake and no one can hurt you whilst you are still fragile. Give your mind and body some more time to heal. You will know when it is right and when the right person has come along. Take care both and speak to you later.....Eastenders is on now Link to post Share on other sites
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