How do you tell a women you love her?

[Kinai]

This story starts with the simple truth that I am in Love.

 

I love this girl. Balls to bones - to a certainty that I have never known. No practical reason why. By society's standards it's very strange & naive for me to love this girl. I hardly know her. It's true that I've known her for many years but we've never gotten close. I've talked with her at times, We've shared a few meals, but at best we've been distant friends over the years.

 

To top it off, I'm not the guy of kind that falls in love. “A Type personality” - always been the prudent one of the bunch. My mind works in terms of logistics and rationality. I have goals in life and I want to work to accomplish them. Romance has never interested me. Despite this I come full circle to the simple truth in my heart: I love this girl. Although I could live the rest of my life out, and probably make it a good one, the reality is that I would rather share it with her. I want to share in her dreams. I want to take responsibility for her joys and happiness. I want to support her with whatever life can dish out. And I pray that one day I could earn a place in her heart to make her feel the same. So, this is the place I find myself in. A capable young man with an unconditional love for the girl he wants - no strings attached.

 

I've made the decision to tell her. My question to you all is: How?

 

Should I write a letter? Maybe a phone call? Show up at her office with a bouquet? Call her up on the pretense of “once past friends having lunch”. If a reasonable, average guy that you knew distantly once upon a time showed up one day and explained that he cared very much about you and is asking for permission to pursue you, what would you do? How does he tell you in a way that does not scare, or hurt, or confuse you - or even worse yet make you feel uncomfortable or obligated. Maybe it means me, maybe it doesn't - but I don't want anything from her other than her honest heart.

[MexicanBillBacker]

This story starts with the simple truth that I am in Love.

 

I love this girl. Balls to bones - to a certainty that I have never known. No practical reason why. By society's standards it's very strange & naive for me to love this girl. I hardly know her. It's true that I've known her for many years but we've never gotten close. I've talked with her at times, We've shared a few meals, but at best we've been distant friends over the years.

 

To top it off, I'm not the guy of kind that falls in love. “A Type personality” - always been the prudent one of the bunch. My mind works in terms of logistics and rationality. I have goals in life and I want to work to accomplish them. Romance has never interested me. Despite this I come full circle to the simple truth in my heart: I love this girl. Although I could live the rest of my life out, and probably make it a good one, the reality is that I would rather share it with her. I want to share in her dreams. I want to take responsibility for her joys and happiness. I want to support her with whatever life can dish out. And I pray that one day I could earn a place in her heart to make her feel the same. So, this is the place I find myself in. A capable young man with an unconditional love for the girl he wants - no strings attached.

 

I've made the decision to tell her. My question to you all is: How?

 

Should I write a letter? Maybe a phone call? Show up at her office with a bouquet? Call her up on the pretense of “once past friends having lunch”. If a reasonable, average guy that you knew distantly once upon a time showed up one day and explained that he cared very much about you and is asking for permission to pursue you, what would you do? How does he tell you in a way that does not scare, or hurt, or confuse you - or even worse yet make you feel uncomfortable or obligated. Maybe it means me, maybe it doesn't - but I don't want anything from her other than her honest heart.

 

 

That's not how it works man

 

Its all about getting to know each other slowly

 

How about asking her out

 

P.S. You can't really love someone until you actually know said person

[qwer]

I've made the decision to tell her. My question to you all is: How?

 

Dude, do not make a big event of it and blurt out the L word or ask if you can "pursue" her! For you, it might be the culmination of all your dreams - that moment when you tell her. For her, it's just some guy showing up and scaring the daylights out of her.

 

You need to go slow. It's fine to approach her and be honest and say you've been thinking and would like to get to know her. Be cool and not desperate. Suggest something simple like a coffee or lunch, not a romantic getaway. While she's passed all the tests in your mind and you're ready to ride off into the sunset, you're a complete unknown to her. You need to start by passing the "not creepy" test. A casual acquaintance walking up and declaring love for you is creepy. It only works in movies.

 

After that, you need to show her a fun time, make her laugh, and don't spit when you talk. Things will progress from there. Or not. But at least you have a chance.

 

Good luck.

[Shnuggles]

These peeps above me are right. Take it sloooooow. You could seriously stuff this all up!

 

I like to ask girls if they would like to have a coffee with me at a local cafe. It can be quick if they dont feel interested and they know they can leave (rather then say a big night out with dinner etc) and its laid back and casual. Plus, most girls love coffee. Just the word of it makes them drool.

 

Also, ask yourself this. Is it love, or lust? Don't confuse the two. Most young people do. For me it starts with lust and love comes after. Trust, communication, same interests and same values are needed before I start shouting "I love you"!

 

Dont like coffee? Order a hot chocolate or something else. No stress.

[runner]

don't make a big event of it. not initially at least.

 

its great that you feel this way, but you really need to build something mutually romantic between the two of you first (i.e. flirt, date, smile, laugh, spend time with each other). if all goes well, then kissing her is all you need to say when you two get to that point. but thats a big if. good luck