She wants to do it anyways......

[Loss 4 words]

(A little back story)--While i was away on vacation my girlfriend and I talked like almost everynight and whatnot but it really got to me at a point that she was talking to a (male) friend that she used to work with and she reluctantly told me that she was and what he was telling her....basically it was that I was no good for her, he was better and that she should leave me for him...and naturally like any man (or woman if the situation was reversed) i was totally heated and wanted to beat the guy's head in for pulling such crap, even after she told him many times that she and i are together yada, yada, yada.....

She told her friend while we were on the phone that she shouldn't have told me and all...and i flipped....thinking "why NOT tell me....do you have something to hide...." but we worked past it...that was until the otherday...

 

She wanted to know if i was coming over to see her...and i wasn't sure....so she told me that she and that same guy might hang out....at her house...pretty much alone...(people in the other room but late at night) so i called her and I told her that she knew how i felt about her and he hanging out...esp after the line he pulled in the past...but whatever...if she wanted to hangout with him i wasn't going to tell her who she can and can't see, but that it made me REALLY uncomfortable not knowing him (in person) but whatever...do what you want...

 

Now, i know that i can be a jealous person, i'll be the first one to admit that...but whenever I try to tell her my own insecurites about her, she always throws it back on me and when i hangout with my other girlfriends alone at my house...she says that she trusts me, but still she questions that even if something happens that i'd just say that "nothing happened"...now she knows my track record...i've always been the faithful one and whatnot.

 

It's like she's always looking for me to start a fight and she knows how to push my buttons to do so...so she can blame it on me if we don't work out...which at this point i'm really not sure what's gonna happen...she keeps this crap up and i know that i'm not gonna be around.....it's like she wants to know what i'm doing, where i am, and with whom at all times...and for me, that's like being chained against my will....it's not like i do that to her...she tells me so i don't bother or need to ask...almost as if she's trying to hide something but even if she was, her family would lie for her to me....or so i think.

 

I just don't get it...she tells me she loves me and trusts me yet she's always checking up on me....

 

Does anybody think that i'm just being irrational or is there more to what's going on that i'm not seeing....

[Gremio]

 

She wanted to know if i was coming over to see her...and i wasn't sure....so she told me that she and that same guy might hang out....at her house...pretty much alone...(people in the other room but late at night) so i called her and I told her that she knew how i felt about her and he hanging out...esp after the line he pulled in the past...but whatever...if she wanted to hangout with him i wasn't going to tell her who she can and can't see, but that it made me REALLY uncomfortable not knowing him (in person) but whatever...do what you want...

 

Strike one, she's out. My opinion is that both of you are young, I would assume 17-21. At no point in a relationship should a partner be "hanging out" alone with someone of the opposite sex in their home, especially in your case where:

 

a) You don't know him

b) He isn't a mutual friend, that she has known for a long time

c) He tries to make you look bad.

 

It screams many things to me:

 

1) She doesn't respect your wishes

2) She wants to date other people

3) "Hanging out" only means one thing, and I erased it from my vocabulary

[Posco_Proudfoot]

She wanted to know if i was coming over to see her...and i wasn't sure....so she told me that she and that same guy might hang out....at her house...pretty much alone...

I got to right here and decided this is no good. I think I'd walk away from her for this alone.

[Wicked Smile]

(A little back story)--While i was away on vacation my girlfriend and I talked like almost everynight and whatnot but it really got to me at a point that she was talking to a (male) friend that she used to work with and she reluctantly told me that she was and what he was telling her....basically it was that I was no good for her, he was better and that she should leave me for him...and naturally like any man (or woman if the situation was reversed) i was totally heated and wanted to beat the guy's head in for pulling such crap, even after she told him many times that she and i are together yada, yada, yada.....

She told her friend while we were on the phone that she shouldn't have told me and all...and i flipped....thinking "why NOT tell me....do you have something to hide...." but we worked past it...that was until the otherday...

 

She wanted to know if i was coming over to see her...and i wasn't sure....so she told me that she and that same guy might hang out....at her house...pretty much alone...(people in the other room but late at night) so i called her and I told her that she knew how i felt about her and he hanging out...esp after the line he pulled in the past...but whatever...if she wanted to hangout with him i wasn't going to tell her who she can and can't see, but that it made me REALLY uncomfortable not knowing him (in person) but whatever...do what you want...

 

Now, i know that i can be a jealous person, i'll be the first one to admit that...but whenever I try to tell her my own insecurites about her, she always throws it back on me and when i hangout with my other girlfriends alone at my house...she says that she trusts me, but still she questions that even if something happens that i'd just say that "nothing happened"...now she knows my track record...i've always been the faithful one and whatnot.

 

It's like she's always looking for me to start a fight and she knows how to push my buttons to do so...so she can blame it on me if we don't work out...which at this point i'm really not sure what's gonna happen...she keeps this crap up and i know that i'm not gonna be around.....it's like she wants to know what i'm doing, where i am, and with whom at all times...and for me, that's like being chained against my will....it's not like i do that to her...she tells me so i don't bother or need to ask...almost as if she's trying to hide something but even if she was, her family would lie for her to me....or so i think.

 

I just don't get it...she tells me she loves me and trusts me yet she's always checking up on me....

 

Does anybody think that i'm just being irrational or is there more to what's going on that i'm not seeing....

 

 

I'd say this must be a joke. You even play with the idea this is ok? Sometimes a man must step up, drag his knuckles and be a man about stuff like this. You Tell her this is NOT ok. If she doesn't understand this or why then tell her your best friend, the hottest stripper you can get, is coming over to counsel you on handling ungrateful girlfriends. And watch her reaction. She is either really dumb, which I doubt, or totally playing with your mind. She knows what she is doing doesn't fly, trust me. It's her way of telling you she has options. Making you jealous. Now the ball's in your court. You going to be a man about about it or let her think you are weak and a little play toy?

[x3snorlax]

from my experience it sounds like she is trying to get out of the relationship. it sounds pretty done to me :|

[atwitsend]

loss 4 words,

 

She is looking to get out or is trying to force you to move the relationship forward to the next level. She is a game player at best. Move on to someone who doesn't threaten you with infidelity.

[Dexter Morgan]

(A little back story)--While i was away on vacation my girlfriend and I talked like almost everynight and whatnot but it really got to me at a point that she was talking to a (male) friend that she used to work with and she reluctantly told me that she was and what he was telling her....basically it was that I was no good for her, he was better and that she should leave me for him...and naturally like any man (or woman if the situation was reversed) i was totally heated and wanted to beat the guy's head in for pulling such crap, even after she told him many times that she and i are together yada, yada, yada.....

She told her friend while we were on the phone that she shouldn't have told me and all...and i flipped....thinking "why NOT tell me....do you have something to hide...." but we worked past it...that was until the otherday...

 

Here is the thing. You flipped and wanted to beat the pulp out of this guy.

 

But she is still talking to him. Maybe your anger needs to be directed at her. If she was any decent girlfriend, she would have broke off the contact with this guy after it became clear he wanted more than friendship.

 

 

She wanted to know if i was coming over to see her...and i wasn't sure....so she told me that she and that same guy might hang out....at her house...pretty much alone

 

Boy, she has balls, or should I say she is going to have balls.

 

This is totally unacceptable. Spending time alone with a guy that she knows wants in her pants. Maybe this isn't the girl for you. Find someone more respectful and considerate.

 

But then again, you hang out with other girls alone, so if you don't want her doing it, you better make sure you aren't guilty of the same thing.

 

 

Now, i know that i can be a jealous person, i'll be the first one to admit that...but whenever I try to tell her my own insecurites about her, she always throws it back on me and when i hangout with my other girlfriends alone at my house...she says that she trusts me

 

Well, she is right. you think you have the right to hang out with girls alone, but she can't?

 

I mean I'll digress a bit here because this is a guy she knows wants in her pants. But still. If you don't want her hanging out with a male friend alone, you best not be guilty of the same.

 

 

It's like she's always looking for me to start a fight and she knows how to push my buttons to do so...so she can blame it on me if we don't work out...which at this point i'm really not sure what's gonna happen...she keeps this crap up and i know that i'm not gonna be around.....it's like she wants to know what i'm doing, where i am, and with whom at all times...and for me, that's like being chained against my will

 

??? I am not getting you. You feel like you should have all this freedom, but she shouldn't?

 

dont misunderstand, I'd dump her myself. I wouldn't put up with a gf of mine wanting to spend time alone with another man, much less a man that you already know wants in her pants.

 

But I also don't hang out with other women alone if I am in a relationship.

 

 

Does anybody think that i'm just being irrational or is there more to what's going on that i'm not seeing....

 

There is definitely more going on if she wants to spend time with a guy that she knows wants her.

 

but at the same time you are irrational because you hang out with girls alone. So whats good for you can be good for her, right?

[Dexter Morgan]

I'd say this must be a joke. You even play with the idea this is ok? Sometimes a man must step up, drag his knuckles and be a man about stuff like this. You Tell her this is NOT ok. If she doesn't understand this or why then tell her your best friend, the hottest stripper you can get

 

But he is doing the same thing as he is getting mad at her for. He doesn't want her hanging out with this guy, but he can hang out with other "girlfriends" alone at his place?

[Loss 4 words]

Here is the thing. You flipped and wanted to beat the pulp out of this guy.

 

But she is still talking to him. Maybe your anger needs to be directed at her. If she was any decent girlfriend, she would have broke off the contact with this guy after it became clear he wanted more than friendship.

 

 

 

 

Boy, she has balls, or should I say she is going to have balls.

 

This is totally unacceptable. Spending time alone with a guy that she knows wants in her pants. Maybe this isn't the girl for you. Find someone more respectful and considerate.

 

But then again, you hang out with other girls alone, so if you don't want her doing it, you better make sure you aren't guilty of the same thing.

 

 

 

 

Well, she is right. you think you have the right to hang out with girls alone, but she can't?

 

I mean I'll digress a bit here because this is a guy she knows wants in her pants. But still. If you don't want her hanging out with a male friend alone, you best not be guilty of the same.

 

 

 

 

??? I am not getting you. You feel like you should have all this freedom, but she shouldn't?

 

dont misunderstand, I'd dump her myself. I wouldn't put up with a gf of mine wanting to spend time alone with another man, much less a man that you already know wants in her pants.

 

But I also don't hang out with other women alone if I am in a relationship.

 

 

 

 

There is definitely more going on if she wants to spend time with a guy that she knows wants her.

 

but at the same time you are irrational because you hang out with girls alone. So whats good for you can be good for her, right?

 

There is only one of my other female friends that I hangout with that she seemingly has an issue with, yet she (my friend) is also in a relationship and happy for the most.

 

She (my gf) worried that i would dump her at the drop of a hat to be in a relationship with my friend, yet that's the farthest thing from the truth....

 

She says that's he's just a friend and that's what i tell her about my friend too...but we all know the Biz Markie song about "just a friend"....but she needs to learn to break the cycle of old habits and accept me that i'm new and different...

[Loss 4 words]

But he is doing the same thing as he is getting mad at her for. He doesn't want her hanging out with this guy, but he can hang out with other "girlfriends" alone at his place?

 

I don't have an issue with her hanging out with her guy friends, it's THIS guy specifically....he's not to be trusted as far as i can throw him....I know what he's said and tried to do and that stuff's NOT cool in my book....you don't try to breakup someone so you can be with them....esp the way he was going about doing it...talking trasha bout me not even knowing who i am and pouring your heart out to them thinking that it'd get them somewhere...there are better ways....

 

That's my issue...he's ASSUMING that i'm worse than he is and not to know me...

[Dexter Morgan]

She says that's he's just a friend and that's what i tell her about my friend too...but we all know the Biz Markie song about "just a friend"....but she needs to learn to break the cycle of old habits and accept me that i'm new and different...

 

Uh....what?

 

You expect her to accept that you should be able to hang out with a female friend, but she can't hang out with a male friend?

 

If you expect her to accept you for the person you are that hangs out with female friends alone, then you need to accept that she can do it too.

 

There is a HUGE double standard going on here.

[Dexter Morgan]

I don't have an issue with her hanging out with her guy friends, it's THIS guy specifically....he's not to be trusted as far as i can throw him....I know what he's said and tried to do and that stuff's NOT cool in my book

 

Believe me, I understand that.

 

But maybe hanging out alone with opposite sex friends alone isn't such a great idea?? hmm? regardless of what intentions are there.

 

If she had a problem with you hanging out with a girl, no matter what your intentions are, then you should have respected that. Just like you respect her to honor your feelings about her hanging out with this guy.

[Loss 4 words]

Uh....what?

 

You expect her to accept that you should be able to hang out with a female friend, but she can't hang out with a male friend?

 

If you expect her to accept you for the person you are that hangs out with female friends alone, then you need to accept that she can do it too.

 

There is a HUGE double standard going on here.

 

Not accept me for that...accept me for the person that WON'T cheat on her even when i',m with another woman alone...that's what i'd like her to accept...

I didn't say she couldn't hang out with him...i said that i would be wicked uncomfortable with it cause he obviously has alterier motives....that's what i see in it..

 

Believe me, I understand that.

 

But maybe hanging out alone with opposite sex friends alone isn't such a great idea?? hmm? regardless of what intentions are there.

 

If she had a problem with you hanging out with a girl, no matter what your intentions are, then you should have respected that. Just like you respect her to honor your feelings about her hanging out with this guy.

 

For the longest time, she didn't have a problem with it....it's not so much she doesn't want me to, it's the fact that (my friend) and I have a much complicated past but we remained friends through it all...and she's (my gf) asked me about what happened with us and i've told her about it...here in lies the problem....she's afraid that i'll run off with her if/when my friend breaks up with their boyfriend...

 

even now it's not that she has a problem..just worries that i'll leave her for my friend...

[taylor]

Not accept me for that...accept me for the person that WON'T cheat on her even when i',m with another woman alone...that's what i'd like her to accept...

 

Maybe she will accept that you won't cheat if you are alone with another woman as long as you can accept that she won't cheat if she is alone with another man. It works both ways.

 

 

it's not that she has a problem..just worries that i'll leave her for my friend...

 

She worries that you will leave her to be with your friend and you are worried she will leave you to be with this guy. Again, it works both ways.

 

It's hard to say if either one of you are truly committed to an exclusive relationship with each other. Maybe you need to sit down and have a good heart-to-heart talk about this. Maybe you both need to put yourself in the other person's shoes to see things a little more clearly.