Trapped in a Corner

[reachingoutward]

Basically all my life Ive had to deal with a difficult family Yeah I know, no suprise that anyone hasn't. But I am about to graduate from school and finally leave the nest. The worst problem I have with my family is that nobody but me can go to me and apoolgize for anything. 2nd is that they believe that my every intention is to hurt them. This is mainly because they are insecure. With all of that being said, it really hurts when my family is pinned against me. I mean if anything I am suppose to trust them and feel safe with them than anyother person in the world. I feel shut out and mistrusting. If I cant go back to them when times are hard in "The Real World" then who can I turn to. What would you say the best method for dealing with this problem and not feeling so bad, mind that I cannot talk to them about it(Tried That). Thanks

[Geishawhelk]

People are conditioned to believe 100% that blood is thicker than water, what counts is family and that you should always love them.

When you consider the amount of dysfunctional families, I find it amazing that people still buy into this.

Your family may well genetically be your closest group of people, but there are countless thousands of people who have strong familial issues that in many cases, are irreparable.

 

If you truly feel, think and believe that this is the case, I would opt for some counselling of sorts, but grin and bear it until you "leave the nest".

 

Strange you should use that term.

Birds that leave the nest never come back, you know.

 

I suppose, a bit late in the post, I should ask how old you are, but it may well mean that by gaining a bit of distance between you and them, things may improve.

 

They often do.

[reachingoutward]

I dont believe they hate me, but their insecurities are hurting me. It's my job to be there for them when they need me. But for the sake of my own sanity I have to at least take a break or something. I wouldnt be as mad as I am if I would receive an apology. Im 17 going on 18.

[Geishawhelk]

OK, it's obviously very difficult to be able to give any concrete, definitive advice, on the basis of two short posts, that really don't give too much away.

And I'm not asking you to, I don't expect you to, and don't see that you should, be more revealing.

 

But you are extremely young to be the bearer of this burden.

I don't mean in any way to trivialise what is happening, and it's not that I am doubting what you say, but is there a possibility that because of your youth, closeness, the pressures you are going through, and your 'immaturity' (and I don't mean that insultingly) you are making more of this than is actually happening?

Are things magnified by your sensitivity?

 

This is why I think a bit of distance between you and yours may be beneficial. To give you all some breathing space.....

 

When do you get to move out?

[reachingoutward]

I knew someone would say that because I'm young I'm being a little too sensitive. I'm pretty rational and mature so thats not the case. But I would suppose the situation would be magnified because I am leaving. But this is something Ive had to deal with all my life. To break it down my mom,dad, and little brother(15) are very insecure, I have three other siblings who believe the same thing. One of my brothers did not talk to my mom for two years because of what I am going through at this exact moment. My father has alcoholic problems, my mom is just insecure, and my brother's insecurities come from him being extremely short. My father's alcoholism has torn apart his marriage with my mom. He's been like that since I could remember, meaning I had to grow up pretty quick to understand exactly what has been going on.

[reachingoutward]

I leave for basic training in may of my graduation, and i wont return intill november which is when I will move out officially.