Baubles Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 I need people to slap me around. my ex...we had gotten back together in june, it ended after a month b/c I accused him of planning on going on a date w/ someone else I had gotten 3rd hand (don't know whether it was true or not- NEVER had accused him of not being exclusive before)...so we ended it but planned on getting together over that weekend, i got upset prior to that and starting talking about returning a gift to him he had recently given me b/c it wasn't appropraite b/c we weren't in a serious enough relationship. It was a lie. Anycase, I later regretted it, but he wasn't forging- basically said my behavior was awful and I was not to contact him again. I did behave child-like and regretted it...and apologized. Made a number of calls/e-mails apologizing and he never returned call- 2 wks ago i caught him (probably by accident) and we talked 15 mins...just like old times...seemed fine, but he had to go... then never called back...i called sunday and left message saying i was confused why he didn't return call and he must not care for me or he couldn't go like this w/out talking to me at all- it had been 5 wks since he called and how we were inseperable for a yr how it is we're not friends, that the actual break-up this time was ok but that we weren't talking b/c I wanted to return a gift confused me. Here is his response, please give me opinions as to whether I was trully awful and he is trying to forgive me and/or he is just jerking me around. needless to say, I intend to not call/e-mail first again. I do miss the friendship and regret my behavior: "xxxxx, Regarding us talking: I will speak to you when I am ready and not before. It is very unfair and hurtful that you assume that I do not care. The truth of the matter is that your behavior at times has been awful and very painful for me. This makes it very difficult for me to be your friend (and/or partner). Fondly, xxxx" and what is w/ the fondly bit- who signs anything fondly- and how awful of him to write "partner"???!?!? something i will never be. is he still recovering from his neverending "pain"...or is this just some b.s??? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 OK, consider yourself slapped....and I'll be back around to do it again afterwhile. Get this dude out of your mind. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 12, 2003 Share Posted September 12, 2003 Unfortunately, I think you just need to chalk this one up as a huge learning experience. From the sound of his e-mail, I would be shocked if he ever contacted you again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Baubles Posted September 13, 2003 Author Share Posted September 13, 2003 well, I got home from work and just started crying again over the ex...it's bad enough when you try to cope w/ the loss w/out being REMINDED by it of outside sources...his picture was in the paper in an article on his work- and all my mom's friends and my co-workers felt the need to comment on him. I honestly think I'd be healing quicker if people weren't reminding me of him. and I broke down and called- I don't know why...thank goodness got his machine...he doesn't want to talk, but then again he doesn't say he NEVER wants to talk...I think I just broke down out of need. I am just perplexed...he didn't cut me off from contact when we broke up in february- I'm just astounded how you can cut a friend off like that so simply and not have it hurt him...it cannot be hurting him THAT bad, otherwise he couldn't handle not talking to me.. More slaps Tony!!! Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 13, 2003 Share Posted September 13, 2003 I'm just astounded how you can cut a friend off like that so simply and not have it hurt him...it cannot be hurting him THAT bad, otherwise he couldn't handle not talking to me.. You don't need to be astounded. This happens ALL the time when relationships end. He may very well be hurting, but he is not hurting enough to contact you. That's all you need to know. He does not want to talk to you right now. Don't worry about the ifs, whys, hows, or buts... STOP CALLING HIM. He is going to think you are cuckoo and psycho if you keep calling him. Remind yourself of that if you want to pick up the phone. He has told you point blank that he does not want to talk to you right now. So why do you keep calling him? If you do want to ever hear from him again, wait for him to contact you. By continuing to call him, you are only going to make him more irritated and annoyed with you. I'm sorry if this is harsh. I've needed this kick in the butt myself at times...it's very hard to face. But it is your reality now. Link to post Share on other sites
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