RAM75 Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 OK all I really need some help here. I am a brand new member. I have been married for 9 years (together for a total of 12), and quite honestly can't remember a happy time. I feel like my marriage has been doomed and miserable from the start. For starters, we have always fought CONSTANTLY and about EVERYTHING. We can't even be in a room together anymore without being at each other's throats. Second, my wife is VERY emotionally abusive. She is a name-caller, and very verbally abusive person. I am regularly told how I need to change physically and otherwise. Our sex life has ALWAYS been awful. When we have sex its great, but it happens MAYBE once every 8-10 weeks. At this point its bad enough that I am ready to end things, but I can't get up the courage to just make the move. What I need to know it, how will I know when the time is right and its the right thing to do? HELP! Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Kids? That's the most important question. Link to post Share on other sites
skinman Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Ram75, sorry to hear what your going through friend... I know its tough.. I was on the other end or your situation and was the dumpee... so I dont know what i can offer but that I am praying for you and your marriage... Sometimes its best to cut the cord... my wife sounds a lot like yours very demanding and sometime abusive but you know.... I still wanted to try.. i belive she has found another man to replace me so good luck in your decision... Link to post Share on other sites
newsguy Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 When we have sex....it happens MAYBE once every 8-10 weeks. Wow! Tell me how you get it that often....mine has been ZERO for 6 months now and counting. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. Lucky Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 What I need to know it, how will I know when the time is right and its the right thing to do? HELP! The time is right when you've exhausted the options for saving your marriage. It sounds like, at least to this point, you guys haven't done anything except waste each other's time... Mr. Lucky Link to post Share on other sites
Author RAM75 Posted December 15, 2008 Author Share Posted December 15, 2008 No thank goodness we are the only two involved no children. Its so hard though. I find myself crying over it and yet at the same time not wanting to deal with the hurt anymore. I've never felt so torn. Link to post Share on other sites
LakesideDream Posted December 15, 2008 Share Posted December 15, 2008 Go read all of the Skinman threat, "she asked for space I gave it to her". Your situation seems to be the same as his. My advice? Count your blessings, hit the road fast and don't look back. Link to post Share on other sites
ReeWoo Posted December 20, 2008 Share Posted December 20, 2008 12 years of misery and abuse? wtf are you still doing there when there's no kids involved? All it takes to get out of an abusive relationship/marriage is to just do it, get out. If you are concerned how to do it then contact a divorce lawyer. If you are going to do it then do it, if you feel that the marriage is not able to be repaired then get the divorce lawyer - don't braodcast your moves to you soon to be x, if you are going to do it just do it. Link to post Share on other sites
Sands_of_time Posted December 22, 2008 Share Posted December 22, 2008 RAM-does your wife recognize that she is abusive? I.E. When you tell her that name-calling is not appropriate does she agree or does she call you another name for calling out the bad behavior? Link to post Share on other sites
PinkOrchid Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 No kids? Run as fast as you can! Link to post Share on other sites
stray_cat Posted December 24, 2008 Share Posted December 24, 2008 hi ram, what is holding you back from having the courage to leave your marriage considering how bad it is? is it love or fear of what lies ahead? i do admire your for holding on to your marriage inspite of its state. a lot of people out there (including my stbxh) would just up and leave a rather stable and happy relationship for their selfish reasons. like you, we didn't have children either but i know that doens't really make the pain less but the situation could have been worst if there were children involved. Link to post Share on other sites
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