Very, very late bloomer... may need tons of .

[doyleman]

I wish I were joking when I say this, but I'm not.

Up until this previous February, I honestly have never looked at dating. And I'm 20. Sure, during my early teen's i'd get 'excited' by the simplest form of a woman, but I had to mature my mindset due to... obligations, so that quickly dissipated, and because I was in foster care, and havent spent one full year of school in the same school, I've had no girls to get a relationship working with.

Basically - I didnt know how to flirt, mingle, and i have NO sexual experience. No hand holding, no kissing, nothing.

 

Then, while at work, a girl came walking in for her application. I swear she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. I dont mean HOT, I mean... beautiful. Anyway, I guess some 'instincts' came in because apparently I was in fact flirting, and she was with me. I swear I wasnt aware I was - I thought I was being 'myself'. About 2 years later, I was told by my friends, and their friends, to ask said girl out and of course, she flipped out saying yes, and bragging to her friends.

 

Well at this point, I was all "ok-i just stepped into unknown territory. wtf did i get myself into?".

 

I did the stupidest things ever. I constantly told her I felt lucky to have her, I kept downsizing myself - making myself feel unworthy, etc. and finally she broke it off with me. I felt too lucky to have her. Yes it hurt like a beach, but deep down---I felt she did deserve someone who was more experienced - as she herself had never had a date either. And plus, we had done NOTHING in the field of gf/bf. Maybe went to prom with the pictures in bf/gf format, and hold hands, but no intimacy.

 

Anyway, what I'm saying is... My dream is to be a father. Not now, mind you, but eventually when I am ready. Now I am worried that unless I grasp the process of flirting/dating/intimacy, the chances of me becoming one will get slimmer and slimmer - so I want to work on my dating field now, while I'm still semi young.

 

I have no experience still, whatsoever. I honestly couldnt tell you how I even managed to pull in my one and only girlfriend.

 

I understand fully that one should be their self, and I intend to, but whats wrong with being one's "best" self? I want to develop in this area, but I need help. If anyone can give me some advice, references, or something to go off of so that I can find and attract more girls, I'd be very greatful.

 

Its a weird dream, to be a father, I know, but I do... I want the joy of raising a kid at some point in my life.

[BlueHarvest]

Heh..you sound like me in the way that I want to have children.

 

Anyways. The first thing you have to learn is self-worth. Know that no matter your background or upbringing that you are worth a fortune and you have to believe that. You can't consider yourself "lucky" or downsize your value because you think she is more valuable then you. You have to be on equal footing...because if you did manage to get into a relationship with that attitude you would be the passive one.

[Artu]

I would not think , she broke off with you as you were downsizing yourself .

Anyway it is not the right way to behave . There is a need to be Equal in any relationship always .

Perhaps she simply was not your destiny .

 

You will meet else many girls , and make kids and make a family and live happily .

 

 

Best of luck to you !

Never feel low. Feel high . And you will Be high.

[doyleman]

well the thing is, I've been teased alot in my school days about my looks. I'm 5ft 11, with only 126 lbs almost every day (has spiked up to 135 before).

Honestly, I myself cant judge me and say I'm ugly, as I'm a dude, and I cant speak for what is attractive for a girl, but when you're insulted by a VAST majority of people, well, it isnt exactly reassuring, ya know?

 

Also, after losing my only gf, I did some self analyzing, and have come to the realization that I am in fact a very typical male: very sexual; but yet I honestly loathe and hate the idea of cheating. I'm somewhat afraid that being so sexual will make the average girl run for her life, as it were lol.

 

anyway, thank you, gentlemen, for your help.