frenchgirl Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Today I went out for lunch with a co-worker. He is not my boss but he is higher up in the company. We went to a steakhouse nearby and he offered to pay for our meal. I know for a fact that he will not charge this to his expense account. Would he have done this if he were not interested?
D-Jam Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 If it was someone I consider a friend, I'd buy them lunch sometime.
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Yes, most management feel responsible for paying. I always did, expense account or not. Edit - I'm a woman.
movingonandon Posted December 16, 2008 Posted December 16, 2008 Today I went out for lunch with a co-worker. He is not my boss but he is higher up in the company. We went to a steakhouse nearby and he offered to pay for our meal. I know for a fact that he will not charge this to his expense account. Would he have done this if he were not interested? Yeah don't read anything into this. It's just common courtesy to buy you lunch.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Thanks for your answers, guys! I know I should not look too much into this but I am starting to really like my colleague... He is so confident and has such an intense look when I talk to him. This week I baked some chocolate candies and brought them to the office. I made them for everyone but must admit I wanted to impress him the most. He seemed to really enjoy them and said to me that he could cook dinner but not desserts. And I readily replied that I couldn't cook anything but sweets... People around me commented that those were flirtatious lines. What do you think?
Posco_Proudfoot Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Thanks for your answers, guys! I know I should not look too much into this but I am starting to really like my colleague... He is so confident and has such an intense look when I talk to him. This week I baked some chocolate candies and brought them to the office. I made them for everyone but must admit I wanted to impress him the most. He seemed to really enjoy them and said to me that he could cook dinner but not desserts. And I readily replied that I couldn't cook anything but sweets... People around me commented that those were flirtatious lines. What do you think? Ever hear the saying "Don't dip the pin in the company ink" ?
Lizzie60 Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 It's hard to say.. Some men do feel like they HAVE to pay for the woman.. they're just too proud.. Only you can have a good feeling if he's interested or not.. why not invite him out next time.. (your turn)
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Neither of you married/in a relationship (or not an issue in your culture)? No problems with workplace romance? Flirt back and see what happens
Author frenchgirl Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Ever hear the saying "Don't dip the pin in the company ink" ? Yes but keep in mind I'm a student and this is a part time position. Not a big issue as far as I can tell. I just share my situation as the guy seems so difficult to read.
prettybaby Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I think you're reading too much into everything. It doesn't really mean anything when a guy pays for both. Any guy with manners will volunteer, regardless of the person he's with. And the cooking comments don't mean anything either. In fact, if you read it again, you're the one who tried to twist it into something more by emphasizing the whole thing. And don't listen to your coworkers. Coworkers love drama; don't get caught up in that crap.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Neither of you married/in a relationship (or not an issue in your culture)? No problems with workplace romance? Flirt back and see what happens Thanks... The biggest reason why I hesitate is that I don't want to look like a skank... This other girl at the office tried flirting with him and it really backfired at her. He felt like she tried to manipulate him and he mentioned it to me.
prettybaby Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Yes but keep in mind I'm a student and this is a part time position. Not a big issue as far as I can tell. I just share my situation as the guy seems so difficult to read. Maybe you find him hard to read because there's not much to read in the first place. You can easily twist little details around and blow them out of proportions, but that's you getting tricked by your own fantasies. Does he stare at you a lot? Does he smile at you a lot? Does he try to get to know you on a real personal level? Does his body language suggest more? When you're both having a conversation with more people, does he only pay attention to you? Did he ask for your number? Has he ever offered to hang out after work? Or volunteered to help with something that isn't really work related? Is he even single? And do you know that for a fact? Does he know whether you're single or not?
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 OP, only way to know for sure IMO is to focus on him for a period of time. Nothing obvious, but be aware of his presence and make it an active part of your thought process. Remember things he says, non-work things. Mention them (ask questions) when you have occasion to speak. By new year's, you'll know. Those who suggest he is merely being polite and professional could be right. Watch how he treats and interacts with other subordinates/co-workers. You'll find an answer
Author frenchgirl Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 Does he stare at you a lot? Does he smile at you a lot? Does he try to get to know you on a real personal level? Does his body language suggest more? When you're both having a conversation with more people, does he only pay attention to you? Did he ask for your number? Has he ever offered to hang out after work? Or volunteered to help with something that isn't really work related? Is he even single? And do you know that for a fact? Does he know whether you're single or not? Thanks for helping me out! I caught him looking at my butt (clearly) on one occasion. And yes, he always smiles at me but I must say he smiles at everyone though. I know that I'm the only employee below him that he took out for lunch. He acts in a very professional manner but smiles and looks at me so sweetly... Our lunch lasted almost two hours so we did talk a lot about stuff that was not work related but we did not get into intimate details.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 20, 2008 Author Posted December 20, 2008 OP, only way to know for sure IMO is to focus on him for a period of time. Nothing obvious, but be aware of his presence and make it an active part of your thought process. Remember things he says, non-work things. Mention them (ask questions) when you have occasion to speak. By new year's, you'll know. Those who suggest he is merely being polite and professional could be right. Watch how he treats and interacts with other subordinates/co-workers. You'll find an answer Thanks carhill. I always smile at him when he walks around and as of late I've been dropping by his desk regularly. I always justify my visit with some work related stuff though. Thanks for your advice, I have two more days to go before we are off for the holidays...
prettybaby Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I agree with Carhill. Those are things you'll have to keep an eye on for a little while before you can accurately judge the situation; only time will tell.
carhill Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 Good, will you all be off for a week or two? I forgot to mention, if you noted how your co-worker flirted, which I assume was obviously, you'll not want to do that. Keep things low-key and be a bit mysterious. Think Audrey Hepburn. Personable and pleasant, but there's just something extra that you can't quite put your finger on. Less is more. Leave him with such thoughts as you go off to holiday and see what happens when you get back. Have fun!
Meet 4 Coffee Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I don't think you should flirt with him at all, and definitely don't ask him out anywhere. If he is interested, he will pursue something. At work, the men are crushing on the women who are serious and focusing on their job, not the flirts and the jokes of the office. Your job is to be professional.
Star Gazer Posted December 20, 2008 Posted December 20, 2008 I know that I'm the only employee below him that he took out for lunch. Ever? How do you know that? Doubtful.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Ever? How do you know that? Doubtful. It's a small office and he's been there for about six months. I always see him alone or with another executive. He keeps things really professional with everyone.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 I don't think you should flirt with him at all, and definitely don't ask him out anywhere. If he is interested, he will pursue something. At work, the men are crushing on the women who are serious and focusing on their job, not the flirts and the jokes of the office. Your job is to be professional. This is good advice, thank you. I did hold his stare a bit too long on a couple of occasions but other than that I haven't flirted with him.
Author frenchgirl Posted December 21, 2008 Author Posted December 21, 2008 Good, will you all be off for a week or two? I forgot to mention, if you noted how your co-worker flirted, which I assume was obviously, you'll not want to do that. Keep things low-key and be a bit mysterious. Think Audrey Hepburn. Personable and pleasant, but there's just something extra that you can't quite put your finger on. Less is more. Leave him with such thoughts as you go off to holiday and see what happens when you get back. Have fun! You know what -- his favourite actress is Audrey Hepburn! Thanks for the advice!
Star Gazer Posted December 21, 2008 Posted December 21, 2008 It's a small office and he's been there for about six months. I always see him alone or with another executive. He keeps things really professional with everyone. This actually proves my point. While he may not have taken a subordinate out to lunch at his present place of employment, doesn't mean that he hasn't in the past. He's only been with your office for 6 months, so his true behaviors haven't shown yet. For all you know, it's his custom and practice to take subordinates to lunch, particularly when the office is small (to build rapport).
Author frenchgirl Posted December 22, 2008 Author Posted December 22, 2008 This actually proves my point. While he may not have taken a subordinate out to lunch at his present place of employment, doesn't mean that he hasn't in the past. He's only been with your office for 6 months, so his true behaviors haven't shown yet. For all you know, it's his custom and practice to take subordinates to lunch, particularly when the office is small (to build rapport). Thank you for your advice. I am trying really hard to stay cool but guess what... He invited me out for lunch again! I am so excited!
2sunny Posted December 22, 2008 Posted December 22, 2008 are either of you married? when is this next lunch planned? it's possible - if he's trying to date you, then if you say no to lunch he might actually ask you out on a dinner date??????
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