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is he cheating


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I had this feeling at the beginning of the relationship and now I have it again. I think my boyfriend is cheating but I had no hard evidence just a very strong gut feeling and some random things that happens.

 

- We both work at a theme park and he was working one night and I wasn't so I was going around with my sister waiting for him to get off. He was working the line (with a girl) so it wouldn't be a big deal if I stayed with him and talked to him and I wanted to stay for a bit and he kept insisting that I leave because it'd be "awkward". So I left. Later that night I came back he was again working the line (with a male this time) and he insisted that I stay and talk to him.

 

- He makes more money than I do and has no bills what so ever. and yet he is always broke. I have student loans, (and an addition to expensive things) not to mention I like spending money on my sister, yet I always have money to spare.

 

- He used to miss me so much whenever we'd go so much as a day without seeing each other and now we won't see each other for like three days and he doesn't seem to care. And when we'd both get the day off he'd say stuff like he wants to stay home with his family.

 

-It takes 30mins (being generous) to drive home/to work. He leaves two hours early for work now rather than one hour like he used to. And he gets home 30mins-2 hours late. (including weekends and there is NO traffic on weekends)

 

-He used to always want sex and now not so much anymore.

 

-We'd used to be able to spend the entire day in bed just watching tv or something and he would be more than ok with it. And now all he wants to do is get up and go.

 

- His gas tank is always empty when all he has to do is drive to work. I do all the driving when we're out and I even drive us to work together sometimes and I still use less gas than he does.

 

-He doesn't say I love you anymore unless I say it first. It used to be the other way around.

 

-Our three year anniversary was a couple weeks ago and he didn't get me a gift (he normally does get me gifts for our anniversary). Also he never even took the gift I gave him out of the bag.

 

Am I paranoid? Or is he cheating?! I was thinking of just asking him but I don't want him to over react and how do I know if he says no its really no? Please help.

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I can't say that he's cheating but he sounds like he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore. Have you talked to him about what is happening? I would trust your gut instincts.

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yeah, i wouldn't necessarily say that he's cheating...

but something's up. the No Gas and the time it takes

to get home, he could just be starting or wanting to do

his own thing and may be going other places, avoiding

going home.

 

It's kinda tough though, when couples work together. It's

kinda like you have no time to yourself even to just do something

as silly as drive to work and have your own job seperate from

your sweetheart, just unwind, think about things, go places

by yourself...How Old Are You cats?

 

I'm not saying this is the case, but do you think maybe he feels

tied down or smothered? Not His Own Person?

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It's hard to say if he's cheating or not.. and even if you ask him.. do you honestly expect him to say 'yes I do'... come on.. :rolleyes:

 

He might not be cheating (and maybe he is) but he is definitely 'bored' in your relationship... he needs some kind of excitement...

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It's kinda tough though, when couples work together. It's

kinda like you have no time to yourself even to just do something

as silly as drive to work and have your own job separate from

your sweetheart, just unwind, think about things, go places

by yourself...How Old Are You cats?

 

I'm not saying this is the case, but do you think maybe he feels

tied down or smothered? Not His Own Person?

 

 

We may work in the same park but our jobs are on complete opposite ends of the park and we don't even work in the same department. And I have always encouraged him to hang out with his friends.

 

I have never forced him to come see me if he does it's of his own free will. And I don't expect to see him every minute of everyday.

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Jane, I am going to be honest and tell you I barely read your story... only skimming a few lines.

 

If you have to ask this question, then your relationship is in dire trouble. Either

a) you are right, which is a killing blow to it

b) you're wrong, which can be very damaging

 

Since you suspect him already, it most likely is true. If not, it shows you are not able to trust each other and lack communication. Without trust or communication, there is no relationship.

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LucreziaBorgia

It sounds like he is checking out regardless of whether he is cheating or not. When a person reaches the point of indifference like he has, there really isn't much you can do to keep them around.

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