Frustrated

[Rudeger]

Hello everyone. I am really sick of my luck with girls. It seems that every time I get close to a girl I get "friend-zoned" and it's getting very frustrating. There was a really beautiful, amazing girl in my classes in school, and she also happened to be my next door neighbour. Me being the fool I am ended up falling in love with her since we always walked to school and did everything together. We became close to best friends I would say, and when I ended up telling her how I felt she said she wouldn't be able to date me and would just prefer it if we were close friends. While I was able to get over her and move on, it seems like this is always happening to me whenever I get close to a girl I like, and its very annoying and demoralising. It's like im doomed to be single forever.

 

What frustrates me more however is that there have been a number of girls who expressed quite strong interest in me, however none of them are the type of girl that I would date, and I had to turn them down due to my personal preferences. I know that what I said sounds very selfish but I am just soooo frustrated that I can't get a girl who I like to like me back.

 

So while this is more of a rant than anything, some advice would be appreciated. Such as how do I avoid this cursed friend zone? I clearly must be doing the right thing some of the time because there are girls who are attracted to me but just not the right type. Am I perhaps being too nice around the girls I want to date? My mum always said that I would have better luck with girls if I acted like a jerk, and while I always tried to be nice to people, that may just have to be the way to go.

 

Thanks.

[Joyvke]

Acting like a jerk doesn't change it though. Not all girls like jerks. The thing here is that you seem to be too late to express how you actually feel about these girls. Perhaps tell her sooner next time .

[RRyan65]

Your mum is right. But not a total jerk right from the get go.

 

The girl you walked to school with should have never known how you felt. If you cannot feel chemistry being reciprocated toward you (mainly flirting), then there is no need to let her know your feelings. If she felt as horny about you as you do about her, you would know from her actions.

 

Being a jerk, does not consist of being an *******. Being a successful jerk toward women, is being able to not place them on too high a pedestal (by telling them how you really really like them, for example). It's also being able to poke fun at them in a light hearted way and disagree with things they say. Being a jerk doesn't guarantee women, neither does cockiness, so be aware of taking that approach unless you have a lot going on for you. Also, being a jerk at every single moment you two are together is not going to work either. Balance.

 

Bottom line is, never ever tell a girl how you feel (by never, I mean those girls who you would like to date). You have to learn how to gauge a woman's actions to see if they are interested in you. I have no tips on how to keep the fatties from riding your ass all day, sorry.

 

Looking your hippest also helps. Good luck.

[Rudeger]

Well see I was actually sure she liked me at least just a little bit, as she was all touchy feely and flirty with me right from since we first met. I guess I just misread those signals. I think i screwed up when i asked her out. When I called her out and asked if she wanted to go to a movie, she asked me "oh you mean as friends or as a date?" I was sort of put on the spot and answered "as a date." I'm guessing now that was not a good to choice to make was it?

 

Thanks for the advice about being not putting them on a pedestal. I think some of that has worked already. I find when i ignore them for a while, the girls wanna start talking a lot more to me and wanna meet up more often.

 

As for the fatties, well i wouldn't call them all necessarily fat, but just not the type i would date normally. My friends tell me to grab what I can, but I just don't want to settle :S

 

Oh yea about the hip part... maybe that could be it lol. I sometimes make obscure references that are 40 or 50 years out of date. And I listen to music almost none of my friends have heard of: "Pink Floyd, Zep, Deep Purple, Chuck Berry" etc. Im 18 years old btw