Desperado Posted April 11, 2000 Share Posted April 11, 2000 Hi pple..... I can't get outta my situation..... even now as plantonic friends...I still have deep feelings for the girl I can't leave her as a friend.....but I can't let go of the feelings I have for her.....this is so messed up Am I gonna wait my whole life for her.......???? much as I don't want to......I will becos my feelings are so deep..... it's tearing me apart......... pls advise Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Posted April 11, 2000 Share Posted April 11, 2000 You will never be able to get over her, when you are being her friend. If you honestly want to get over this emotional stuff then LEAVE HER ALONE! Don't talk to her. Let her get on with her life and you with yours. there are are lots and lots of women out there. Just keep yourself busy all the time and your feelings will go away a little at a time. If you have to, wash your car 20 times a day. There is a saying that has always helped me out and that is "You can't get over anything unless you get MAD at it!!!" Sit back and look at yourself and how much you are leting one person out of billions make you THIS sad!!! I hope this helps and good luck!!! Hi pple..... I can't get outta my situation..... even now as plantonic friends...I still have deep feelings for the girl I can't leave her as a friend.....but I can't let go of the feelings I have for her.....this is so messed up Am I gonna wait my whole life for her.......???? much as I don't want to......I will becos my feelings are so deep..... it's tearing me apart......... pls advise Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted April 12, 2000 Share Posted April 12, 2000 I certainly agree. I was recently dumped by my girl and as much as I wanted to be friends with her and felt that I needed to be around her it simply hurt too much. Do I still love her? Yes, and I probably always will, and I probably will always want to be the girl that I fell in love with. But that is not the same girl that left me and has hurt me so bad. She says she still loves and cares for me, and she probably does, but I will never ever be able to be with her. I could never feel the same. I could never feel like she wouldn't question our relationship and leave again. We could both be in love with each other, but I would never feel as if there was any commitment. You can't be her friend, especially if this is tearing you apart. You have to let her go. Get mad at her too. Ask her why she doesn't want to be with you but can still be your friend? Ask her what changed? Get pissed!! Trust me, I was asking myself the same questions just 2 weeks ago. I didn't know if I should try to spend time around my ex because I wanted to be with her and know her so bad, or if I should try to forget her and move on. You have to get mad. You'll probably get frustrated. You will get tired of feeling like crap and want to feel better. Start your new life and realize it is a wide wide world out there full of possibilities and options. You will feel better once you start not seeing her or talking to her. You must make the rules very clear that she is not to contact you, write you, e-mail you, or see you and you must do the same. Soon you will treat her like she is a distant memory. And if it is truly meant to be you will be with her someday (aren't you tired of hearing that advice?). Good luck and have fun. Steve Link to post Share on other sites
desperado Posted April 12, 2000 Share Posted April 12, 2000 hi...how can you get mad at something you love? You don't get mad and take it out on your car, or you don't burn your precious stamp collection, or smash your favourite guitar...not when they mean so much to you right? How you expect me to get mad at someone I love when I love her so much????? Link to post Share on other sites
Nicky Posted April 12, 2000 Share Posted April 12, 2000 hi...how can you get mad at something you love? You don't get mad and take it out on your car, or you don't burn your precious stamp collection, or smash your favourite guitar...not when they mean so much to you right? How you expect me to get mad at someone I love when I love her so much????? Besides, what right have you to get mad at her? Of course she's still your friend, her feelings haven't changed so she's happy to be that. If you are not happy with the situation it is your responsibility to leave it. You can't make her responsible for your feelings in this situation. That's unfair! But I do agree with the advice above, basically if you aren't happy about this situation, it's down to you to change something. Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Posted April 12, 2000 Share Posted April 12, 2000 Im just trying to help you. WAKE UP!!!! Your too emotional. Be a MAN. Go ahead and be JUST A FRIEND to her. Follow her around like a lost puppy. Go ahead and let your heart get crushed all over the street. Tell me something, what are you going to do if she gets a boyfriend? When this happens and you talk to her, she will talk about him, about how much she likes him and how cute he is? Will that not bother you? What if you happen to run into her somewhere and she is with a guy and they are holding hands and wrapping their arms around each other? Will that not bother you? I know you love her but if you can't have her the way that you want to have her or you can't control your emotions then it's just going to hurt you more on the long run. You will continue to be sad and depressed for a LONG time because this lady just wants to be your friend and you want her as you lover. Have you tried talking to her about why she doesn't want to be with you? Im just curious to what she says. Besides, what right have you to get mad at her? Of course she's still your friend, her feelings haven't changed so she's happy to be that. If you are not happy with the situation it is your responsibility to leave it. You can't make her responsible for your feelings in this situation. That's unfair! But I do agree with the advice above, basically if you aren't happy about this situation, it's down to you to change something. Link to post Share on other sites
Desperado Posted April 12, 2000 Share Posted April 12, 2000 hi mike finally there's someone who understands me I asked her why can't we be together and her answer was that she couldn't find the chemistry....it's so wierd...we get along so well together...we can talk ant anything and we almost understand each other inside out...we do BGR stuffs like talkin' abt really personal and private stuffs...but never sexual stuffs becos she has never even held a guy's hand be4.....we can talk for hours on the phone... when we go out...we'll catch a show, play pool, bowling, visit the arcardes, coffee chat, concerts etc I've told her stuffs abt me and my family that I never even reveal to my buddies...becos she's interested to know but my buddies ain't the kinnda people who would hear me talk abt my childhood days and stuffs like that we talk abt our future..., what we plan to do when we get our diploma, we talk about what happen during the day....little stuffs....we'd tease each other...... all these I guess how can I let go of such a wonderful friend??? but everytime I want more.......she turns away I'm human too..I need love to be returned to me I don't know what to do ..... Link to post Share on other sites
Mike Posted April 12, 2000 Share Posted April 12, 2000 Hey man wussssup. I understand that, i acually went through something similar to what you are. I was with a girl for two year, totally in love with her and one day she dumped me saying that she just doesn't feel anything for me anymore and that she doesn't think that she loves me anymore. I was DEVISTATED!!!! She was to me my whole reason of being here on earth. I would die for her in a sec. I would have traded my whole human existance in, to be a part of her body(arm, leg, foot etc.) just because then i would definately be with her forever. That is how obsessed and in love i was with her. One time i said something that made her mad and I drove over to her house, went up to her on my hands and knees and kissed her feet apologizing. I could not eat or sleep for weeks. Even though she dumped me, we were still best friends and went out on the weekends, going to the mall, to a concert, bowling, late afternoon drives, etc. I was hurt but i was still ok because i could still be in her life. After a while she got a boyfriend. I still tried being her friend, but found it too hard because of MY love for her. I was planning this new boyfriends death.lol But eventually i got so mad at the situation(not her) and myself that I laughed at myself. I couldn't beleive i was letting my feelings control me like that. finally i gave up. I stopped returning her calls, more or less let her know that i was moving on with my life and that i didn't need her in my life. After a while guess what happened. She came to me crying saying that she needed me in her life, she is sorry, that she's in love with me and wanted to be with me forever. She dumped this new guy for me. This was actually like two weeks ago when this happened. So we have been back together for two weeks now. Im her first true boyfriend and hopefully i will be her last. If it doesn't bother you much then go ahead and try being her friend. Go out with her and have a great time. There is nothing wrong with that. If you like her that much then go ahead as friends and maybe someday somehow she will fall for you. If not, you will have a good friend at least. I sure hope you end up with her. I will be praying for you. But another thing, if she finds herself a boyfriend, believe me I KNOW, it will totally kill you, and it will be too hard to deal with being friends with her, knowing that she is in another mans arms. That will crush your heart into a bloody pulp. Well, thats pretty much it. There really isn't any advise anyone can give you right now because you are going to do your own thing anyway. You should think about this long and hard and do what feels right in your heart. Well, good luck and inform us on what happens ~Mike~ hi mike finally there's someone who understands me I asked her why can't we be together and her answer was that she couldn't find the chemistry....it's so wierd...we get along so well together...we can talk ant anything and we almost understand each other inside out...we do BGR stuffs like talkin' abt really personal and private stuffs...but never sexual stuffs becos she has never even held a guy's hand be4.....we can talk for hours on the phone... when we go out...we'll catch a show, play pool, bowling, visit the arcardes, coffee chat, concerts etc I've told her stuffs abt me and my family that I never even reveal to my buddies...becos she's interested to know but my buddies ain't the kinnda people who would hear me talk abt my childhood days and stuffs like that we talk abt our future..., what we plan to do when we get our diploma, we talk about what happen during the day....little stuffs....we'd tease each other...... all these I guess how can I let go of such a wonderful friend??? but everytime I want more.......she turns away I'm human too..I need love to be returned to me I don't know what to do ..... Link to post Share on other sites
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