Avoidant Personality Disorder

[Touche]

Where did anyone say for Motive to avoid therapy? Huh?

 

Although, since we're on the topic I HAVE seen it do more damage than good.

 

Motive, does it make you feel better that your personality type now has a "label?" I just don't get that. Or is it making you feel worse, like there's something "wrong" with you?

 

I agree with SP's definition:

 

But something becomes a disorder when it impairs basic functioning, as this did for me.

 

Then I'd call it a disorder...otherwise it's just a personality type.

[motive2002]

Ok, here's the ones on the list that match...

 

 

• Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  
• Shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong
  
• Exaggerates potential difficulties
  
• Hold the view that they are socially inept, inferior, or unappealing to other people
  

 

Does it bother me to be this way? Of course it does. Do I think it's a disorder? Well, if it makes me unhappy, or causes me to be moody or depressed, or has major implications with the intimate relationships I have (or rather had) then yes I think it's a disorder.

 

What I would like to become, is that person that is always cheerful and positive. The one that lets everything roll off their back and doesn't worry about stuff (unless it's serious). The one that can totally be themselves regardless of approval from others. I've met a few people like this in my life and wondered why I couldn't just "be like that".

 

I guess you'd have to be in my specific shoes to really understand.

[Kamille]

Motive, be careful about members telling you to avoid therapy. Be very careful because I'd trust a professional over a layman, anyday. If you're concerned, find another therapist to give a second opinion.

 

Just to be ultra-clear, I'm not saying people should avoid therapy. I've had therapy and I would like to go back at one point if I have the financial means for it. I think the right kind of therapy can be beneficial to almost anybody.

[shadowplay]

Ok, here's the ones on the list that match...

 

 

• Easily hurt by criticism or disapproval
  
• Shy in social situations out of fear of doing something wrong
  
• Exaggerates potential difficulties
  
• Hold the view that they are socially inept, inferior, or unappealing to other people
  

 

Does it bother me to be this way? Of course it does. Do I think it's a disorder? Well, if it makes me unhappy, or causes me to be moody or depressed, or has major implications with the intimate relationships I have (or rather had) then yes I think it's a disorder.

 

What I would like to become, is that person that is always cheerful and positive. The one that lets everything roll off their back and doesn't worry about stuff (unless it's serious). The one that can totally be themselves regardless of approval from others. I've met a few people like this in my life and wondered why I couldn't just "be like that".

 

I guess you'd have to be in my specific shoes to really understand.

 

A lot of shy people have these features. It's a question of severity. Somebody who has the disorder is severely impaired. They can't leave the house, avoid all social interaction whatsoever, can barely speak to other people, have no friends, etc. Not too many people fit that profile.

[Touche]

That's exactly it. What the sad part is, is when people self-medicate and get nowhere.

 

:laugh: Are you serious? What the heck do you think the Psych community does to treat these so-called disorders...medicate, medicate, medicate. Here, pop a pill. They turn you into zombies. So what if it's prescribed...doesn't make it any better or healthier, IMO.

[Kamille]

What I would like to become, is that person that is always cheerful and positive. The one that lets everything roll off their back and doesn't worry about stuff (unless it's serious). The one that can totally be themselves regardless of approval from others. I've met a few people like this in my life and wondered why I couldn't just "be like that".

 

 

I wish I could be like that too, and sometimes I am that person. I'm just not that person all the time. Sometimes, as I'm confronted to different things in my life, I become a bit more sensitive and shy.

[Trialbyfire]

:laugh: Are you serious? What the heck do you think the Psych community does to treat these so-called disorders...medicate, medicate, medicate. Here, pop a pill. They turn you into zombies. So what if it's prescribed...doesn't make it any better or healthier, IMO.

I'm talking about illegal drugs and alcohol. I've seen a lot of disordered individuals who self-medicate with substance abuse.

[Touche]

A lot of shy people have these features. It's a question of severity. Somebody who has the disorder is severely impaired. They can't leave the house, avoid all social interaction whatsoever, can barely speak to other people, have no friends, etc. Not too many people fit that profile.

 

Again I agree 100%.

 

Motive, I can relate. Lots of us are like you are. Some of us have just learned to cope with it and live with it and accept it. Some of us yes, at times, self-medicate (not saying that's right though). You can learn to live with the way you are and adapt.

 

For me it was "fake it until you make it." I mean I always worked around people and got along fine with them (for the most part) and I never had a problem dating or anything. You can overcome what you see as obstacles.

 

Sometimes it helps to just be out front and TELL people how you are. Laugh at yourself and don't take yourself so seriously. That always worked for me. It put the other person at ease too in a funny way.

 

TBF, I know you were talking about illegal drugs and alcohol. I get that. But what I was saying is that prescribed meds are no better! People get addicted to those too.

 

Neither way is the right way was my point.

[Touche]

I wish I could be like that too, and sometimes I am that person. I'm just not that person all the time. Sometimes, as I'm confronted to different things in my life, I become a bit more sensitive and shy.

 

Is anybody, really?

 

I think not.

 

I think the crux for me in all of this is to learn to accept yourself as much as possible, change what you have the capacity to change and be done with it.

 

I don't mean never stop trying to be who you want to be but accept who you ARE along the way.

[Meaplus3]

That's exactly it. What the sad part is, is when people self-medicate and get nowhere.

 

I agree it is very sad when that happens and I assume you mean self-medicate in the terms of resorting to Alcohol, drugs or other self-medicating properties.

 

You know when I went to seek treatment for panic, I was given excellent guidance by my therapist to learn the power of CBT.. which is an approach that teaches you how to overcome panic and anxiety by changing the way you think... it works. For a while I was taking some medication and it was helpful for the short term and was controlled by my family doctor.

 

Mea:)

[Trialbyfire]

TBF, I know you were talking about illegal drugs and alcohol. I get that. But what I was saying is that prescribed meds are no better! People get addicted to those too.

 

I honestly don't think that people who are disordered, are the best people to decide if they should take medication or not. There's so much denial tied up into disorders, that the immediate reaction is to say, "No, I'm not ill, therefore, don't need the medication.". This is an eternally bad loop of never getting better. Denial, refusal of treatment, self-medication due to feeling bad, denial, refusal of treatment, self-medication due to feeling bad...

[motive2002]

I am seeking a course of therapy that does not include prescription drugs for the time being.

 

I personally think that if it leads to a severe amount of anxiety (i.e. a panic attack) then prescription drugs are probably the way to go. That's a debilitating thing. Most of us can get by with our ordinary insecurities, but in my case it's making me extremely unhappy.

 

So therapy first for me. Drugs as a last resort. That's just my own personal slant on it. I am not a professional.

[Trialbyfire]

I agree it is very sad when that happens and I assume you mean self-medicate in the terms of resorting to Alcohol, drugs or other self-medicating properties.

 

You know when I went to seek treatment for panic, I was given excellent guidance by my therapist to learn the power of CBT.. which is an approach that teaches you how to overcome panic and anxiety by changing the way you think... it works. For a while I was taking some medication and it was helpful for the short term and was controlled by my family doctor.

 

Mea:)

I think that's wonderful. CBT seems to really kick arse from what I've heard from people who've done it. Good advice!

[Touche]

I am seeking a course of therapy that does not include prescription drugs for the time being.

 

I personally think that if it leads to a severe amount of anxiety (i.e. a panic attack) then prescription drugs are probably the way to go. That's a debilitating thing. Most of us can get by with our ordinary insecurities, but in my case it's making me extremely unhappy.

 

So therapy first for me. Drugs as a last resort. That's just my own personal slant on it. I am not a professional.

 

Good for you, Motive. I wish you the best. And drugs should be a last resort. I agree. And that is for YOU to decide.

 

No one should EVER put their health into another person's hands blindly. It's your health, your life and you will know when and IF you need medication. Don't let anyone ever tell you that you're not the best person to decide that.

[johan]

A lot of shy people have these features. It's a question of severity. Somebody who has the disorder is severely impaired. They can't leave the house, avoid all social interaction whatsoever, can barely speak to other people, have no friends, etc.

 

Theoretically. It's not like you see a lot of people like that around out doing stuff.

[Touche]

There's so much denial tied up into disorders,

 

Sorry but I'm not seeing this at all. That's not been my observation. Hell I've even listed all of MY "disorders!":laugh:

 

Maybe it's only the narcissists who deny since they couldn't possibly think there's anything wrong with THEM.

 

Again, no one should leave their health in someone else's hands. That's just plain ignorant and irresponsible.

 

I'm so glad we weren't the type to blindly put our sons on meds. It's horrible what the medical community does..using people as guinea pigs.

[shadowplay]

I have mixed feelings about prescribed drugs. I think they can be very effective, if prescribed properly. They can also be over-diagnosed or have nasty side effects. I was prescribed an antidepressant called Effexor XR about six years ago and put on close to the highest dosage. I've wanted to get off it for years, but it has horrific, now well-documented withdrawal effects. Just google Effexor withdrawal effects.

 

I literally can't go a day without it. If I do, I have severe headaches and flu like symptoms, feel miserable, often suicidal. Once I was without it for two days and had to go to the ER the symptoms were so bad. I'm really angry at the doctor who gave it to me because she totally downplayed the withdrawal effects. I would have never gotten on it had I know. It has helped me in many ways, but it's not worth a life time dependency.

 

The lesson: do your research and don't take a drug that was just recently approved.

[johan]

I'm so glad we weren't the type to blindly put our sons on meds. It's horrible what the medical community does..using people as guinea pigs.

 

Maybe things would have been easier sometimes if you gave him a pill or two here and there. A sedative when he talks back. Uppers when he's about to clean his room. Ritalin at homework time.

 

I can't wait to be a parent. I have a plan.

[shadowplay]

Just wanted to add that the way I got to such a high dosage was as follows:

 

Every week or two I'd go in and she'd ask me how I was doing. I'd tell her I was feeling a bit better, but still somewhat depressed and still having trouble concentrating. So she was like, "Ok, let's try a somewhat higher dosage." That continued until I was finally taking 325 mg a day of a drug that only goes to 350 for the most severe cases. Instead of determining whether there was some non-biological reason why I still had lingering depression, she kept increasing my dosage. That was irresponsible.

[Trialbyfire]

Okay, here we all go again, going off-topic. Let's get back to the subject at hand which is AVP, instead of our personal views on medication and therapy.

[amaysngrace]

I've wanted to get off it for years, but it has horrific, now well-documented withdrawal effects. Just google Effexor withdrawal effects.

 

Can you decrease the daily doses until you get it down to nothing? Some meds you need to be weaned into and weaned off of.

 

Did you ask you doctor about it?

[Touche]

Maybe things would have been easier sometimes if you gave him a pill or two here and there. A sedative when he talks back. Uppers when he's about to clean his room. Ritalin at homework time.

 

I can't wait to be a parent. I have a plan.

 

You know what's sad though, all kidding aside, is that some parents do almost the equivalent. It seems to be more prevalent among the uneducated. They give their kids cough syrups and other drugs, even alcohol to get them to sleep. It's very sad.

 

And didn't they prove that Ritalin, so widely prescribed to kids, causes suicidal tendencies?

 

SP, I'm so sorry for your experiences. I think your post was invaluable to many. There are some doctors who are nothing but legal drug pushers.

 

Wow, I really need to find that post I read earlier on this subject. It was so awesome.

[shadowplay]

Can you decrease the daily doses until you get it down to nothing? Some meds you need to be weaned into and weaned off of.

 

Did you ask you doctor about it?

 

I have a therapist, but not a psychiatrist at the moment (currently looking for one). But I plan on eventually weaning off it. I just need a stretch of time in which I can afford to be out of commission. Now's bad since I'm in school. Possibly over the summer once I return from abroad. I'll probably have to remove one little white ball at a time from the inside of the pill (there are about a 50-100 per pill and I take two pills day).

[amaysngrace]

I'll probably have to remove one little white ball at a time from the inside of the pill (there are about a 50-100 per pill and I take two pills day).

 

No that's not how it done although it may work. Pills come in different strengths. Some are 2 mg, some 100 mg and many in between. So if you take 100 mg for instance you get 25 mg pills and start by taking three 25 mgs each time for however long until the doctor says to and then go down to two 25 mgs and keep working your way down until you are off of them.

 

When you started did you start at the same strength you are on now? Or did you break into it?

 

You can call your old doctor since s/he is the one who prescribed them for you. You may be able to get answers from them.

[Touche]

I need legally prescribed drugs to stop wanting to avoid this thread. It's made me crazy. I think I have Avoidant Avoidant Personality Thread Disorder (AAPTD)

 

Should I self-medicate with another thread? I think that will be healthier maybe.