Avoidant Personality Disorder

[Kamille]

TBF I think you might have missed my last posts. Do you really think anyone posting differing views on your thread about the use of psychology are simply harbouring resentments against you?

 

I didn't see that. I didn't see Touche being agressive in her first post. I wasn't feeling attacked by the thread and was raising my concerns (shared by many sociologists) that we live in a world of medical diagnosis. I felt it was an interesting conversation. You accused me of taking things personally and chose to ignore the question I was raising. I didn't read any of Taramere's posts as coming from a space of anger or irritation. She just seemed to want to enter the discussion. Again, you accused her of having a chip on her shoulder.

 

I guess since we are being honest, and with all the respect you know I have for you: what's going on?

[Trialbyfire]

Again, you delegitimize the criticism as totally biased without entertaining the possibility that there might be a grain of truth.

Nope, just stating the truth. What are you attempting to accomplish here? Are you honestly trying to help someone who doesn't need or have asked for your help or are you attempting to get your personal biased opinion across, one that emphasizes your personal dislike? Sounds more to me like you're more interested in joining a lynch mob.

 

Once again, I ask you, are you willing to let this go or are you going to nurture your personal resentment?

[Kamille]

That's the thing about truth, reality and denial. Anyone can assert they own the truth and that the other interlocutor is the one in denial.

 

ps: I posted two posts up and then two posts up from that.

[Trialbyfire]

Since I've never diagnosed you and am not a professional, I'm a little confused about why you feel I would have any impact on you.

 

The thread is for informational purposes only. If you don't feel it's applicable to you, then move on.

 

I'm a little confused by people in general. If it's not applicable to you, why take it so personally?

 

It's not up to me to diagnose someone. As a matter of fact, I have zero responsibility to LS and it's members. What my responsibilities are, are to follow the guidelines of LS.

 

The balance is to put up content that I feel is applicable informationally, or throw up advice and threads that help me or someone else personally, at my discretion.

 

TBF I think you might have missed my last posts. Do you really think anyone posting differing views on your thread about the use of psychology are simply harbouring resentments against you?

 

I didn't see that. I didn't see Touche being agressive in her first post. I wasn't feeling attacked by the thread and was raising my concerns (shared by many sociologists) that we live in a world of medical diagnosis. I felt it was an interesting conversation. You accused me of taking things personally and chose to ignore the question I was raising. I didn't read any of Taramere's posts as coming from a space of anger or irritation. She just seemed to want to enter the discussion. Again, you accused her of having a chip on her shoulder.

 

I guess since we are being honest, and with all the respect you know I have for you: what's going on?

Kamille, here are my two responses to you, where between my first response to you and my next one, you explained that your first response wasn't a personal issue. That's fine, so I responded as per my next included response.

 

As for anyone else, they can and should be addressed as separate members, once again, if it's something worth addressing.

 

Taramere and I have resolved our differences. She admitted to some friction. I've admitted to some friction. We're okay now.

[amaysngrace]

shadowplay, you harbour resentment like it's your first born, internalizing everything everyone says. Just let it go. I have. I also ask if you can. If not, that's okay too. Your choice.

 

That's a pretty low blow for someone who has let it go. I'm just saying.

 

I'm almost not wanting to get involved here. I have a whole history of issues for you to call me out on if you choose. I hope you wouldn't but maybe you will. You certainly can. It's your choice.

 

It wouldn't really bother me though as they are history because I chose to air them out here.

 

In that way Tara is right. People expose themselves here in a very raw way. It is a safe place and we shouldn't expect what we share to be used against us in a callous uncaring way.

 

But I have seen several people do that today on various threads. I've seen it done to you and I've seen it done by you. No one is right to do it to anyone though.

 

If I were you here would be the last place I'd air out anything that is bothering me because it may be used against you as it's been today.

 

I don't know who started it but I do know anyone who does it is wrong.

[Trialbyfire]

amaysn, this thread was started as a non-personal informative thread. How it devolved to this point, I think I know. As for low-blows, they've been used within this thread from all sides. If you read clearly, you can see them. If you can't read clearly, then this is something to examine.

 

LS is about as safe a haven as any other public site. I've exposed myself as much as the next person.

[amaysngrace]

I've exposed myself as much as the next person.

 

If that is your truth I'm not going to dispute that. You know your truth and nobody else does.

 

But I think everyone deserves that same level of respect. I don't think any one person can say what any other person has or feels or thinks because they are not them.

 

I have seen disrespect by a few posters and you being one of them to Shadow. So no one involved is without blame here. With the exception of Taramere. I didn't see her posts as being offensive but then again I am not you so I don't know how you'd perceive it.

 

I did however see your final reply to her as being condescending. If it wasn't maybe I am wrong.

 

I'd just like to know when it will all end. When will this stupid petty crap end? The thing that is most puzzling is it is done by some of the brightest women on this board.

 

The ones who could offer much to many people if they would all just chill.

[swansong519]

Bottom line....

 

More money needs to be spent on early childhood education and mandatory parenting classes to help create emotionally healthier people. How it is that you need a license to do damn near everything EXCEPT have kids is beyond me. Until the circle of dysfunction is broken no amount of drugs will solve the problem.

 

Otherwise in another generation or 2 there won't be one emotionally healthy/mature person in North America. And they'll all be suffering from one malady or another. Or perhaps not having enough to eat will give them something else to focus on.

[Nemo]

This entire thread is a train wreck of avoidance. Let me say this - if you don't own a mirror, then this is a great time to invest. Wait for the fog to clear, and I promise that the revelation will be worth it.

[Trialbyfire]

amaysn, Why am I being held accountable when shadowplay isn't? Read carefully. This thread was opened up as a non-personal thread. Can you tell me where I asked for people's personal advice? I don't see it as a thread to help me. It appears to me that I'm being held accountable for peoples' own paranoia.

[Touche]

You're both right. And yes, low-blows have been thrown from different sides.

 

I think I know how this devolved as well. I will take responsibility for any part I played in it. Will you?

 

LS is not a safe haven. This is true. But as much as we can make it one, we should all strive for that. Because as amay pointed out, Tara mentioned how we expose ourselves in such a raw way here. Much more than most other types of forums.

 

I mean I know that on my gardening or RV or travel forums I don't reveal my weaknesses (nor my strengths for that matter.) I don't actually reveal much at all of a personal nature. Only on here do I do that.

 

By the very nature of this forum, it's just that more more personal. We're all that much more vulnerable to each other in a way since so many of us know things that even those closest to us may not even know. We should really strive to never use that against each other.

 

This is OUR forum. We all decide as a group what the tone will be.

 

And as far as I'm concerned no one should ever hold themselves out to be better than anyone else. And let's face it, we've ALL been guilty of that one!

 

But the truth is, no one IS better than anyone else. It's so easy to pick people apart based on the weaknesses they've revealed. Most of us don't go around crowing about our strengths after all. So in a way we have a lopsided view of one another. And I also know that we ALL have our strengths. Our wonderful qualities.

 

Perhaps we should be focusing on those qualities a little more often.

 

Maybe we should just do like Bob Newhart's character (the therapist) said in the video that TC posted on my thread said to do:

 

STOP IT!!!!

 

 

I think the aim of this forum should be to support each other and help each other grow. If that means going for therapy and taking meds, I won't judge. But I don't want to be judged for saying I don't always agree with that path and course of action.

 

I will however, respectfully, always give my opinion on that front. I think it's important for everyone to try to get as many perspectives/experiences on any given subject.

 

Oh and...I'm not borderline!

[Taramere]

I did however see your final reply to her as being condescending. If it wasn't maybe I am wrong.

 

Just to put a final word in before I go to bed - TBF and I concluded the discussion we had on this thread via an amicable PM discussion. Her final post to me was simply a polite addendum to that.

[Touche]

Cue the Kumbaya song!

[amaysngrace]

It appears to me that I'm being held accountable for peoples' own paranoia.

 

See and I don't get that at all. I don't see paranoia here at all.

 

I saw Shadow ask you if there was some truth to Taramere's post and then saw you fire back with a low blow.

 

What in Shadow's post did you find so offensive?

[Trialbyfire]

See and I don't get that at all. I don't see paranoia here at all.

 

I saw Shadow ask you if there was some truth to Taramere's post and then saw you fire back with a low blow.

 

What in Shadow's post did you find so offensive?

This is between myself and shadowplay.

[Touche]

See and I don't get that at all. I don't see paranoia here at all.

 

I saw Shadow ask you if there was some truth to Taramere's post and then saw you fire back with a low blow.

 

What in Shadow's post did you find so offensive?

 

I know...shoot, I'm not seeing it either. Other people's paranoia?

 

TBF, you're not perfect. None of us are. Your life will vastly improve if you can just see that and accept some of what's been said. I saw a lot of truth in some of the comments made. And they weren't being mean or nasty.

 

What's with the "other's people paranoia" thing?

 

Do you honestly think that you're completely and without any emotional baggage or defect?

 

I'd really like to know if you care to answer.

[Trialbyfire]

Here's where I find the entire thing funny. I've never once expressed my "perfection" on this board and yet people use it all the time. Ask yourselves why this is such a big issue within you to continue emphasizing this point that I don't personally believe. It's truly stunning how people make shyte up in their own heads. It really is!

[Posco_Proudfoot]

I tried to keep up with the thread but it got personal. This is a thread starting out as a disorder, and some of you are arguing on the internet with people you've never met in your life in a relationship forum.

 

That in itself is probably a disorder.

[Trialbyfire]

I tried to keep up with the thread but it got personal. This is a thread starting out as a disorder, and some of you are arguing on the internet with people you've never met in your life in a relationship forum.

 

That in itself is probably a disorder.

Pretty funny. I would link a certain joke about that, but then...I might be accused of thinking I was perfect! :lmao:

[Touche]

Here's where I find the entire thing funny. I've never once expressed my "perfection" on this board and yet people use it all the time. Ask yourselves why this is such a big issue within you to continue emphasizing this point that I don't personally believe. It's truly stunning how people make shyte up in their own heads. It really is!

 

I see what you're saying but perhaps you should really take some time to think about it. Perception is reality for most people. Do you get my drift?

 

I agree that you didn't directly express any perfection on your part. There are subtleties and perceptions though. The kinds of ways in which we convey things say a lot. The words we use say a lot.

 

I'm emphasizing this for the same reasons (to answer your above question) that you insist some people (whom you don't truly know or have ever met in person) are BPD, or NPD, or XYZ, etc. That's why.

 

Well, I'm going to stop. I'm not sure that you're really open to receiving the message.

 

Certainly ignoring my previous post on here speaks volumes.

 

Have a wonderful night.

[Trialbyfire]

Perception really is reality for some people, especially the manipulative and insecure type.

[amaysngrace]

This is between myself and shadowplay.

 

Which is precisely as it should be.

[Touche]

This entire thread is a train wreck of avoidance. Let me say this - if you don't own a mirror, then this is a great time to invest. Wait for the fog to clear, and I promise that the revelation will be worth it.

 

Couldn't agree more, Nemo. Couldn't agree more.

[Trialbyfire]

So...if someone doesn't believe something and has never expressed anything like this before, but certain people get the impression it's how the other person feels, even though they've never expressed it or believe it, who's being delusional? Who's creating this reality?

 

Now this I'd love to know!

[Lizzie60]

TBF, I honestly think that you need therapy.. (I don,t know if you are in therapy right now, I don't read all your posts) but you seem to spend all your life on LS (I think you have the largest amount of posts per day)... and you seem to be obsessed with personality disorders of all kinds..

 

I am not saying this to be mean.. but this is my observation of what I'm reading here..

 

You seem to have personal problems lately and I have this feeling you are either avoiding to face them.. or it's an unconscious choice of threads (subjects) that reflects a very sad 'mal de vivre'...

 

Something just doesn't seem to go right...