longlegzs80 Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 More and more I think I am going to be single for the rest of my life and be a very misreable person like I am now. I have been feeling lonely for quite some time and it would be nice to have someone in my life. Someone who can just hold me. I don't know. All I know is I have been misreable because of me being single all the time. Currently I am focusing on myself and better my attitude by going to the gym, but hopefully that will work. I would love to just get involved in art classes and meet people that way too but I can't afford it. What to do? This single life has to stop. I have been so down in the dumps for such a long time that it would be nice to have someone in it who can possibly be there for me and be positive. Just sick of it. Have to vent again, thanks for listening. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 You need to accept and understand first and foremost that having another person in your life is not going to make you happy. Sure, it may for the short term, when you go through the googly feelings of meeting a guy you really like and want to spend time with. But long term, you are going to be dealing with the same issues of unhappiness. It is a lot of pressure to put on a person to expect them to drag you out of your misery. You are miserable because you are unhappy with what you are doing, not because you don't have another person to share your life with. Your life is not dependent on another person, nor depending on another person to make you happy, nor living vicariously through another person. You are too young (22, I think?) to be worrying about being alone forever. You have loads of time ahead of you to meet the right guy. You need to determine first what is going to make you happy with your life. What kinds of things do you want to do, what kinds of goals do you have, what kind of career do you want, etc. Being single is not a bad deal. You are free to do whatever you want to figure out all these kinds of things without having to worry about the influence (or at times, stress) of another person. I actually quite like being single. You, and only you, are in the position to change your life and be positive about things. As I said, it is unfair and wrong to expect another person to drag you through life and make you happy. Be happy yourself. Surprisingly (or not) you attract many more men to you (like bees to a flowah) when you are happy, confident, and enjoying YOUR life. So consider what steps you need to take to enjoy your life, and then take action and do them. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 It's perfectly normal to want love in your life. Longing for someone special has nothing to do with you not being a happy person. The greatest number of people come to this forum because they long to be loved in a very special way by someone who will treasure them and share their lives forevermore. If you're a miserable person, that won't happpen for you. People are attracted to others who are happy, confident, satisfied with what they are doing and the direction they are going in life. Good people don't want to pair up with someone who's down on themselves and life. So first, you have to change your attitude. Then you have to get out there, meet people, have your friends introduce you to people, attend parties and get togethers, attend art openings, concerts, etc....do everything possible to put yourself in the path of some nice guys. Do that and you'll have more love than you know what to do. Sitting at home being depressed just won't cut it. Finding love is something that is fairly effortless, but at minimum it expects you to be out there among possible candidates. Mr. Right knows that if he breaks into your bedroom window, you'll call the police...or worse yet shoot him. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 There are usually free courses, lectures, etc. that you can attend. Find your local 'events' papers/magazines. Most cities have free ones as well as online events calendars. Check out what's going on in town that you might like to attend. Volunteer for charities or other organizations that need help. Festivals are great places to meet people with similar interests. You don't need money to meet people, you just need to be creative about where you can go. When you do go, take a good attitude with you. I know one woman whose every conversation includes the fact that she has no partner and wishes she had one. Not many people want to talk to her anymore. Be happy and cheerful and people will be drawn to you. How to be happy? Every day has something to celebrate - you just have to look. Link to post Share on other sites
Comet Posted September 14, 2003 Share Posted September 14, 2003 Instead of spending so much time thinking about how your going to end up alone etc. You should start loving yourself more, it's a vibe thing. People who concentrate on making themselves happy, without the need of others are more attractive to the objects of their desire. If your are constantly ppreoccupied with wanting to meet someone then your sending out a desperate vibe, and that sends people away from you. If you really want to be in a relationship, it's a hard thing to do. But get in to the train of thought that you don't need anyone else to make you happy, rather than thinking your not ever going to meet anyone therefore you'll never be happy. We are all the controllers of our own destiny! Link to post Share on other sites
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